Register now to get rid of these ads!

Folks Of Interest Kind of personal, but car related

Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by Roothawg, Sep 9, 2018.

  1. X-cpe
    Joined: Mar 9, 2018
    Posts: 1,955

    X-cpe

    My aunt too. Mom said she had caused accidents.
     
    Roothawg likes this.
  2. X-cpe
    Joined: Mar 9, 2018
    Posts: 1,955

    X-cpe

    Dad was going to give up his license at 90. Knew he was a bad driver because of being flipped off and the blowing horns. Hell, it's good 'til I'm 93. At 93 he passed the eye test,new license. Good to go, good driver now. Had enough sense to leave his lady friend's house and drive home before dark. Would admit to getting lost sometimes in Yakima and have to drive around until he recognized something. I was waiting for the call from the border to come get him. Living a continent away makes it hard, but in '15 my sister and I visited him and along with his lady friend took his license and got rid of the car. They got the blame.(LOL) It's painful watching his life close down around him. Thankfully he has come to accept his limitations as they come. I have to remember to be thankful for what I do have of him. At 73 I'm not that far behind.
     
    warhorseracing and Roothawg like this.
  3. Cliff Ramsdell
    Joined: Dec 27, 2004
    Posts: 1,343

    Cliff Ramsdell
    Member

    Root,
    I read this whole post with feelings for what’s going on.

    I didn’t have any real relationship with my father, it was the kind of guy he was and the last willful conversation I had with him was sometime in the late 80’s.

    Because of this I have a super close relationship with both my boys because I don’t want to be like him.

    Both are into cars and they come over and use the garage when they need it. We got to the swap meets together even if no one is building anything, after 35 years of doing it, it’s the thing to do.

    Just turned 59 so I’m not there but when I reflect on how fast the last 40 years went I realize that it’s coming soon and I hope my kids are going to support me the way your doing for your dad.

    Be strong and it will all work out.

    Cliff Ramsdell
     
    Roothawg and dirty old man like this.
  4. Pinstriper40
    Joined: Sep 24, 2007
    Posts: 3,602

    Pinstriper40
    Member

    Ya know, if he's ready, let him slow down a bit, and let Mom drive. A man deserves the right to slow down at his own pace. The bitch about life is that no one gets out alive! You're very lucky to have had your dad this long. Just take him for rides and let him enjoy the view. That's what I'd do.
     
    MMM1693 and Roothawg like this.
  5. boutlaw
    Joined: Apr 30, 2010
    Posts: 1,239

    boutlaw
    Member

    Root, your Dad will know when he doesn't need to drive any more. I actually took my Dad at 93 to renew his drivers license. The lady had never seen anyone over 85 or so to renew a license. Dad continued to drive till almost 98 and did really good, but would never drive at night. He only went to the grocery store and parked where he could pull straight out and not have to back out. He NEVER parked in a handicap spot. At 98 he went to an assisted living home and actually had his car there but never drove it after he go there, because he was concerned of his ability. He FELL 4 months after turning 99, hit is head, and died a week later. Your Dad sounds like the most awesome Dad ever and your closeness to him means everything to him, I am sure. Enjoy the time you have left, I sure miss my Dad.
     
    Roothawg likes this.
  6. belair
    Joined: Jul 10, 2006
    Posts: 9,013

    belair
    Member

    You say he is ready to quit driving, but "this will kill him." How can both be true? Can he still work with you, etc? And I hate to ask, but who is this harder on- you or him? He may be a lot more reconciled to this point in his life than you are. My dad is 82, and he is beginning to lay some things down. He doesn't miss it as mush as he thought he would, certainly not as much as he would have ten years ago. God bless you guys as the changes in life finally become apparent.
     
    Roothawg, guthriesmith and alanp561 like this.
  7. I understand your situation completely, been there with my parents years ago.

    Only difference, your Dad seems to be aware of his limitations and is telling everyone "he's ready".
    Seems to be that maybe you are having a harder time with it than he is.

    Set up his hot rod so Mom can drive it, take him to every car show/event/bs session you can.
    Ask him for his advice/help in the garage whenever possible.

    Just because he can't/won't/shouldn't drive doesn't mean that the hobby the 2 of you love has to disappear.

    Best of luck, growing old sucks for the person getting older and those that love them.
     
    Roothawg likes this.
  8. Rickybop
    Joined: May 23, 2008
    Posts: 9,585

    Rickybop
    ALLIANCE MEMBER

    Very much wishing your dad the best concerning some treatment for his lower extremities.
    In addition to what the doctors can do for him, assisting blood flow (especially return flow) can help. Elevate the legs whenever possible. Exercising the legs helps...lots of used recumbant cycles for sale cheap. Drink lots of water. Limit salt intake. Compression socks.
    The blood carries oxygen and nutrients to the body and carries away salts and water and other waste. The vessels have "smooth muscle" (involuntary) within their walls that undulate and assists the blood to overcome gravity and return to the heart and lungs. As we age, the smooth muscle doesn't work as well, the flow decreases and water can build up, causing painful swelling. (a condition called edema)
    I'm not trying to diagnose your dad's condition, Root. Could be more complicated than I'm relating here...sugar...nerves. I'm just sharing some basics that might help. We learn things when our loved ones are sick. Knowledge helps.
    Of course, as you said...definitely have the docs check him out thoroughly...sooner than later.
    Again, best wishes.
     
    Roothawg likes this.
  9. JOECOOL
    Joined: Jan 13, 2004
    Posts: 2,771

    JOECOOL
    Member

    Root ,I have never met you ,just read your stuff on here. I am 72 and have noticed I am having a lot of trouble with little things now days. I gave up my cdl a few years ago ,and I can see the day I will give up my Drivers License.My wife and I are raising our Great Grandson and he is 5 . He has ask me if I can teach him to drive the 57. No one else in the family cares anything about it so maybe I can hold on and make him a hot rodder. If your dad wants you to have the car , he really wants you to have the car. Tell him often how much the time with him means to you . The rest of this stuff is just cars.
     
  10. GuyW
    Joined: Feb 23, 2007
    Posts: 649

    GuyW
    Member

    Sorta OT, but it'd be great if HAMBers took better care of their health (it can "always" be better) so they can postpone some of these changes for a while. I'm 65.5 and hit the gym 5 days a week and, the biggest thing, changed my diet massively to avoid salt and all the unidentifiable chemicals in processed food. Sermon over.
     
    AHotRod and Roothawg like this.
  11. pitman
    Joined: May 14, 2006
    Posts: 5,148

    pitman

    Food; is awfully close, to the poor fellow as he wanders thru a cruise night lot, as one 'siren' after another rumbles in.
     
    Roothawg likes this.
  12. rustednutz
    Joined: Nov 20, 2010
    Posts: 1,580

    rustednutz
    Member
    from tulsa, ok

    Unfortunately, there comes a time in everyone's life when it is time to hand over the keys. Most don't realize when that time arrives, but, the few that do sure make it easier and less worrisome on their families.
     
    Roothawg likes this.
  13. glrbird
    Joined: Dec 20, 2010
    Posts: 601

    glrbird
    Member

    I am 69 and can't do thing that I was able to do even 15 yrs ago. Try to get your Dad to go to the doctor, It could be something small medication could fix and give him some more time having fun with cars. He might be open to the idea if you explain it right. Good luck, Lost my Dad (avatar) 8 yrs ago and put him there so I get to spend time with him everyday.
     
    Roothawg likes this.
  14. Stogy
    Joined: Feb 10, 2007
    Posts: 26,340

    Stogy
    ALLIANCE MEMBER

    Getting old is something most of us growing up don't really think of a lot but as we grow old which is inevitable, life creeps up on us...many times in your face full on reality from many directions...this is one. Your father is ahead of you on this one...thankfully its not a mortality issue...of course if he continues driving it could end up that way. We are all going to hang it up someday whether we like it or not. There's threads on that too and its really not something to look forward to but will come to many if we are less fortunate than those that are somewhat more blessed with the magic juice.

    My mother gave up driving several years ago...and she gave up a freedom...but we are there for her and supported her decision...and she's still smiling living day to day seemingly enjoying life...shes 81.

    @Roothawg your father will still be involved with the close knit love and support of your family and he will still involved with the hobby just in a different capacity...it beats a 2nd level of a home were sadly I've seen so many wind up. Enjoy working together doing what you love and take him out to partially fulfill what he has wisely given thought to giving up. Sorry not easy to digest but a call from the elders to heed with love and compassion.
     
    Last edited: Sep 24, 2018
    AHotRod and Roothawg like this.
  15. MMM1693
    Joined: Feb 8, 2009
    Posts: 1,145

    MMM1693
    ALLIANCE MEMBER

    It is HIS decision and HE made it. Support him like I'm sure you do! Wish my father would have made 80, think of him every day.
     
    Roothawg likes this.

Share This Page

Register now to get rid of these ads!

Archive

Copyright © 1995-2021 The Jalopy Journal: Steal our stuff, we'll kick your teeth in. Terms of Service. Privacy Policy.

Atomic Industry
Forum software by XenForo™ ©2010-2014 XenForo Ltd.