Hot Rods Old age dilemma!!!!!

In Oklahoma, you can record your will/ living trust at the court house. That supersedes anything suppposealy written later on a pice of paper. In my family we use a living trust, detailing the exact wishes of my dad.

Bones

 

Like the OP and other posters...I am deep enough into this age range to have been thinking about this issue. And, I have the experience of liquidating my younger brother’s cars and parts collection when he died nine years ago. One of his two daughters was the Executor of his Will, I was just a helper with the car stuff because I had both the time and familiarity with the automotive aspect.

During this process, while I was loading a box trailer with parts, my own Son said to me “don’t leave me like this”.....and he was serious. Neither of his two sons seem destined to be good prospects for ‘stewardship’ of my old cars, parts and shop equipment. They would have an interest in the newer OT stuff and/or the cash value of same. Not being disrespectful to them, just realistic.

Which brings me to the point of my post. As I see it, there are two primary components to the dilemma under discussion. The first and most conspicuous is our emotional involvement. We LOVE this stuff! It makes us feel good. We enjoy the nostalgia and the searching for cars, parts and comraderie of our fellow hobbyists. But it is primarily our nostalgia, the memory of things and experiences of our times past and not that of those we wish had the same ‘feelings’ we do.

The second component is the reality of the situation. Even if we fully grasp that, and some do and some don’t, it is the harder part to accept. The idea that what we highly valued, and spent countless hours pursuing, means little or nothing (except maybe cash value) to our potential heirs. This is the meat and potatoes of the issue and the wiser among us will work on accepting the reality ....but try to do so without faulting our heirs for having their own nostalgia in the making....instead of being clones of us. Likely our departed parents and family members had to come to terms with this in their later years.

If we have come far enough to accept the inevitability of our own demise, and that is huge, surely we can accept that, in the big picture, our things do not matter after we are gone. They matter greatly to us while we are here and that is/was their purpose, and by all accounts here, they have served that purpose.

You don’t have to be either an Optimist or a Pessimist, just a Realist, to recognize the world we live in is a rapidly changing place. Even if you have a child or grandchild who, at the moment is interested, what does that insure for the longer term? Dust to Dust is the reality of our existence. As I have aged I have thought about what will offer testimony to my existence. The very fact that the question occurred to me immediately clarified why so many people have attempted to build some sort of monument, big or small, to mark their existence. It's temporary, at best.

In summary......do what ever gives you the most peace of mind. If that is selling or giving away your cars and parts.....or keeping and just enjoying having them, do that....but most of all accept your choice and it’s implications and strive for Peace of Mind. That is, in my opinion at least, the most valuable possession of all.

Ray

 

Like I said earlier, I am childless and am not going to worry about it. My father was my best friend and I grew up going to car shows and swap meets with him. He passed away suddenly and unexpectedly at 64 10 years ago. He left us with a large Shop full of cars, parts and tools. At the time, I was into Mustangs, not the Model As I had grown up with. Plus, my mom still had many years ahead to plan for, so there wasn’t an option of just inheriting the cars, we would have had to buy them from the estate. The one car he had that I really wanted was his prized 34 Cabriolet. But, I couldn’t afford it. And at the time didn’t think it would have been right to “make it my own”. So all but 1 car got sold. Long story, but at the end of the day they are just material things. My dad wasn’t alive in any of those cars. The memories are the same with or without the cars he owned. I still think of him when I’m out in the garage doing what we used to do, or at a swap meet. I think this has helped define my own position of, when you’re gone you’re gone. It ain’t your stuff any more.

 

Like everyone here I’ve got a bunch of cool stuff, I’m only 51 but have been thinking a lot about this too. A couple years ago I was involved in a large automotive estate auction in Florida, the sole heir lived in Indiana and had to deal with the whole ordeal with a couple cousins and friends as part time helpers. That really got me thinking about my stuff, then I had to process my Dads garage stuff, I’ve been thinning out my collection of good stuff since then. I still have what would be an overwhelming amount of tools, parts and cars to a normal person. I hope my grandson wants some of it. The rest I hope to have the wherewithal to sell before I go batshit crazy or get too crippled. I don’t want to burden anyone with my stuff in the end.

 

In the same boat. I started getting rid of stuff last year. It broke my heart but I sold my coupe last year. I'm still not sure as to the rest of it

 

funereal at 11 , auction at 1pm , be there !!!!! and just be damn glad you didn't get bit by the old tractor bug nobdy wants them !!!!!!!

 

Sell it and donate the money to an animal shelter of your choice.. Dogs and cats will thank you....

 

I figure it this way, my kids are both doing very well and make a hell of a lot more money than I ever thought of. I have a daughter who is 42 and a son now 36 and 5 grand sons. My daughter will get an equal share of what ever she wants.My son is a mechanic( he does not let people call him a tech) and is into cars just as much as I am. He will get the pick of the litter of the cars,guns and what ever other junk he wants. Two or three of the grandsons like the cars so I hope they will get some of the stuff that they like. The others will be taken care of by my kids. The rest of the junk, cars, car parts etc. will be left up to my daughter and son to do with what they want just as my wife and I had to deal with all the stuff out parents left us with. After they plant me in God's green earth I will not say a word about it. I hope my wife and I have some good years still in us but you never know when your time will come. I tell them all the time when I kick off to have a big party to see me off and make sure they play "Rednecks ,White Socks and Blue Ribbon Beer" at my funeral and put a pack of smokes and a bottle of Jack in the casket and have a Buick tri-shield emblem and Masonic emblem engraved on my grave marker. I am not going to use the time I have left(years I hope) to worry about my possessions.

 

I've only got one living son, and he gets nothing of mine. He would only sell it for what he could get out of it. My Grandson will probably get most if not all of it if he wants it, if not one of my two nephews will get it. The other nephew is not really into cars that much, but he may change as he gets older. I've already gotten rid of a ton of late model parts I had saved up, not going to be needing them so why keep that stuff around, turn it to cash for stuff I do need. Nothing I have is really rare except what little Lincoln stuff I have, so no big cash value there. I'd like to build one more, maybe a fiberglass roadster from scratch, but if I don't get to, it's no big deal, I'll just enjoy what I've got. Still lots I want to do to it to make it mine, then the next caretaker can add their touches.

 

It’s truly sad for those who don’t have someone interested in their possessions, whatever that might be. My brother lost his only child in a tragic accident and has lots of things he had bought for his son to enjoy during and after college. Another sad story. I have shared many stories with my kids about where certain items came from. If they show an interest in the item, I give it to them, on the condition that they give it back if they decide they don’t want it. Car stuff, they have no interest in. There are friends of theirs that see what I have and become interested. If the friend stays interested in the car part and the story, I give it to them, just a few items at a time. Most of the stuff has become wall art at their homes, but heh, it makes them happy and I’m glad to see the item again. Kinda like seeing an old friend! When I don’t see the item around at their house, I just stop giving to them. I sell some things from time to time and when folks come to buy and see something they like and hear the story behind it, I sometimes give it to them. If a kid comes with their dad or grandfather, I always give them something and tell the story. It’s amazing what kids like and yet they have never even heard of it before. Folks like possessions because it helps them relate to a story, a time in their life, or their families’ life. Some like the stuff because of the history, some like it because they can relate to another person who has similar feelings. I believe you should enjoy what you have, document the inventory, write a short story about how you obtained it, and try to establish relationships with folks who are likeminded. You might be willing to sell or give your possessions to someone you believe will enjoy and continue the story. If not, when you are gone folks might want the items for the value, the story, or both. Your notes (short stories) will be enjoyed even if the items aren’t. I bought a diary that was written in 1956 and it’s amazing how many things I could relate to, how I could feel this person’s daily life. There was nothing dramatic, just daily routines with a blip every now and then. Think about it, if it’s not something we need in order to survive, most likely we bought the item because of a story. A story that has already occurred or one that we envision. We all want “our” story to continue, but reality proves that this rarely occurs unless we invest in “passing the torch”. It takes an effort to share our passion and story. Look for those who want to carry the torch. Many times they are found in unlikely places. Please share what you decide because we all cross this bridge at some point and could use your insight.


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Johnny Russel!

 

Pireaux..........very thoughtful and well written.....Thanks

Ray

 

Stuff and too much stuff is only a problem when the Stuff Owns you instead of You Owning it. If your still enjoying something and don't care what happens to it after your gone its not a problem. If I haven't sold or given away something before I die then my heirs have my blessing to do whatever they want with my stuff. Not long ago I bought a set of new gauges Temp Amp & Oil for a Farmall Tractor. I opened the package and looked at them. Then I put them back in the box. Later my wife asked what I did with them. I stated I put them on a shelf in the store building. She said you will never use them. Why dont you label all your stuff so someone will know what it is at your estate auction.? I replied I dont need to label it because I know what it is. And really don't care about what happens to it after im gone. I detest lawyers and haven't made a will. Every lawyer I ever had legal dealings with left a bad taste in my mouth and cost me time & money. Definition of a Lawyer- Someone who you hire to protect your assets from your enemies. And they steal them for themselves. I wouldn't trust any lawyer farther than I could throw them. Did I tell you my eldest son is a lawyer? My father had a sizeable hoard. The stuff ( junk) sold with the farm. I heard the buyer sold everything to a scrapper for $10,000. I knew a woman who,s husband dies. She had very little income. But they had a valuable paid for home. Next thing you know she buys a new car. and gets a new car every year. After a decade she dies. The greedy children immediately after the lavish funeral she had planned in her will swoop in and fight over the household possesions. And cant wait to sell the house. Then they learn mother had taken out a reverse mortgage and the new cars where leased. There wasn't even enough left to pay for the lavish funeral LOL .

 

I think the hoarding Gene is inherited. My great grandfather came from Sweden Was a Blacksmith on the Continental Railroad. Saved his money and married a German lass. they bought a small farm 5 acres and Twenty acres of river bottom land. Any way they placed the city dump adjacent to his river bottom land. And every day he dump picked and brought home the good stuff. Wouldn't let the scrapman get it. When he died in his 90,s the Scrap man named Pezzy Greenspan tried to buy the junk from my great uncles. He eventually offered $10,000 . and this was 1958. Those German boys laughed at him. Stated Charley Thorn didn't want you to have it and we aint selling it. They sold that 5 acres to the hospital to build a new clinic. Burned down the buildings. And had a cousin Roy Linstrom bring his dragline and front loader and dig a hole and bury everything. Leveled off the place and went to the steel mill and got clinkers and covered it up. Today my Great Grandfather Thorns Hoard resides under the clinic on Central Avenue in Lake Station Indiana. I think ole Charley would of approved.

 

As many posters have said, it all comes down to being comfortable with yourself. Sometimes you don't have to worry about the decision, life makes it for you. We have downsized several times as my wife's medical issue developed. I sold some stuff, had good friends like Ronnieroadster bring a truck and take a bunch, ended up in a leased condo with no garage for several years while I was a caregiver. Kept the hot rod in a U-store facility nearby. Now I have my rollaway, and my '40 in the garage attached to my small bungalow as I learn to live alone. The missus is in a wonderful caring facility and we visit every day. At 75 I am at ease with how things worked out, no regrets. There is a scrapbook of pictures of all the cars we enjoyed over 52 years of marriage and that is my "hoard". I think some of us as we age find the simplification of our lives a comfort. Life is too short to do what you don't want to do, choose a path that suits you.

 

"Theres no place I rather be than right here!!!!" The hipsters and yuppies can kiss my ass, I like to go in some places and play my song on the box just to get a rise out of them, I'm like that

 

Ray, I was actually "blessed" by having Lyme Disease in the brain most of 2017...it allowed me to just blurt out the real truths to people in my life, and also to understand the joy of life itself. I sure don't know your son, but how dare he say ''don't leave ME like this''.....If he truly cared for HIS Dad, he should have said "Don't worry about your stuff Dad, I can & will deal with it, so Rock On with what you love while you are still here"

In my mind, you are blessed without the burden of "taking care" of each children's "share" of your possessions... meaning spreading out equally to each child or family member. Stuff should go to whomever would really like to have it, even if it is a newer younger friend that honestly likes you, and respects your stuff. Far too many people are brainwashed into "always" believing that "family" should be the heirs.



....too many people just don't understand that each and every "today" is the only thing that matters. The past no longer exists, and the "future" never should dampen the joy of each "today". Enjoy what you have now, and don't feel forced to sell things off just to make your heirs own lives "easier" after you pass. We must live each day with the thought that "you", the individual, must always be the main focus of a life lived to the fullest. Yes, most of us want a good future home for out best stuff, so calmly sort out in your mind who should get what, and put it on paper. If your family thinks THEY must be first in line, just because of being family?..man up and do what you know is best for your treasures.


I have told so many people >>>"How do we know when it's time to sell our last screwdriver?"...We don't!...so enjoy what you treasure now.

.

 

MY HERO!

Ben

 

I finally told one smart arse son in law every time he mentions how many old cars i have or how much shit i have there would be 5000 euro deducted from his inheritance . He has a better attitude now .

 

I also have alot of old cars and parts. I tell my wife and girls to have a big auction when I'm gone. The girls have a small interest in a couple vehicles but they are pretty young so their minds might change. Remember first off, it's your stuff to do with ad you please. Since you don' have offspring to pass it onto for them to Enjoy, maybe you would want to help out a younger person interested in getting into the hobby by selling them something cheap with the promise they keep you in the loop. It could be the son you never had. It could be difficult to make sure some punk isn't going to just turn around and profit from your kindness. Good luck in your decision. Whatever you do. Enjoy the hobby.

 

At 75 I think about this from time to time. Only have two toys but always another in progress and lots of parts stashed. My wife is well aware of the value of this stuff and I'm sure she could get rid of it easy enough-if it doesn't bring alot of money-no harm no foul-we have enjoyed it. My kids have little or no interest in the cars or the other antique items-just would want the money-their spouses also only want the money-people change their attitudes upon someone's demise-seen it quite a few times. One spouse has even asked how much money is available and who gets what!! Scary!! Exception regarding a car is her 55 which they all want because it's been part of the family for 40 years. The younger generation have no interest in antiques or the past as we do. Example-the younger guys I know have no interest in Colts,Winchesters,Sharps or a Henry and would sell or trade them in an instant for some assault rifle or just want the cash-different values.All is covered in a trust to hopefully avoid major issues No worries here.

 

Wow!!!
So many replies, and thanks. I've only read half of them, will continue this evening when I have more time.
It's good to know we're not alone, but also so sad at the same time. And I'm sure like lots of people collection of not just cars and parts.
The hardest part is finding young people who are interested, honest, trustworthy. Same is true with donations to organizations.

 

After my dad passed at 68 due to complications of alzhiemer's, I had to help my mom sort his garage, lean to's and storage container. after going through all of his stuff 10 tons went to scrap. Another 10 tons went to the dump. We had all of the parts and extras for his two cars, the 1958 Impala that I finished making run and drive two years ago for my mom. Then the 48 stylemaster coupe, which I have. Dad passed in November 2012, I brought the 48 home in April of 2014. I wanted the 58 to run and drive so my mom could enjoy it. I spent the next 4 years or so getting it mechanically sound so It can be driven. My younger brother who is living with my mom, after a nasty divorce, does not encourage her to drive it, and he barely drives it. Frustrates me beyond belief. He will end up with the car, at which point I bet that it will be put up for sale. At that point it is his property and he can do what he wants with it. I just wish it would have gone to someone who would enjoy it and drive it like it deserves to be driven. I hope his kids are into that car so that is does get driven.

 

what a terrible thing it must be to be left with 10's of thousands of dollars worth of stuff from a relative. i'd say 75% or more of the general population simply does not sell any used item ever.

 

In the end its all just stuff. Its by far not the most importiant thing. We lost a 17 year old son 25 years ago. Now that a big thing. A hoard of stuff is no comparision. Our 22 year old daughter in law is dying from stage 4 colon cancer. We will end up raising the grandkids. aged 6 months two years , three years , and 4 years. She has been a busy lass. That's a huge deal stuff doesn't compare.

 

years ago my father in law had to clean out his parents' home. when he finished, his sisters asked what he did with all the hummel figurines. "you mean those little statues?" he replied, "oh, we just threw them in the trash!" the aunts were furious, but they weren't there to help!

 

Here is something everyone might want to check into. It is my understanding (and it depends on where you live) that you can make a list of small items to be distributed to specific people when the estate is settled. This list is signed and kept attached to your trust/will. This means you don't have to go back to your lawyer to add or subtract something small. CONFIRM THIS WITH YOUR LAWYER AND ASK WHAT DOLLAR THRESHOLD THERE IS ON A SMALL ITEM. Don't put a fully restored '32 roadster on the list. Transmissions, engines, tools, books and rear ends might be appropriate.

Charlie Stephens

 

Unfortunately the worst in people arise when its time to divy up the possessions of departed parents. We still have family members who no longer speak to each other as they thought they were screwed out of some of Mom and Dads possessions. To this day some valuable items have never been accounted for. This type of behavior happens more often then not.

Gary

 

I'm in the process of getting rid of 60-years of collecting "stuff". If I had 3 or more of an item, I kept looking for more. License plates - more than 3000 0f them. A barn full of signs, oil cans, gas station collectibles, etc.
At 72 and after 3 major operations in the last year and cancer 8-years ago, I decided it was time to let it all go. I don't want my wife to go through the hassle of trying to get rid of it all when I go and my kids aren't all that interested.

I thought it would be tough, but found the enjoyment was in the looking, finding, dickering and going home with another winner. Getting rid of it all is turning out to be just another transaction.
As the old saying goes, don't love something that can't love you back !

 

I guess I should begin to worry about my stuff ,and what will happen after I become disabled or die. But I just got off the phone talking to a guy about a small block ford 289 that was his grandpa's that I am going to pick up tomorrow, we talked about his 55 chev. I talked about my A I'm building. Funny thing is he is 72 and I am 71, Are we blind to what will happen? or Do we not give a rats ass?