Event Coverage FUNNIEST THING OVERHEARD AT CRUISE OR SHOW?

Your comment reminded me about the guy I was parked next to last year. "patina" buffed out f100 with a nice hemi in it. Really clean looking truck. He told me about his shop and how he and some friends built it.
He then stepped over to my unibody and was checking out the engine bay (I don't run a hood) and asked about my blower setup and who made it.

um.... late 90s ford EFI. No blower, just an air filter hanging out of a plenum.

Who wants to guess about his shop and his buddies building his rig?

 

An old timer walked up to a friends A roadster, and says "I had one just like this- except in about 1950 I put a sidevalve V8 into it- Jeez, it went like the clappers!".
The funny part was he was an original hot-rodder, and did'nt realise it.

 

Had a woman approach my '51 Merc and asked where I bought it and if they had any more like it.

 

I had a really nice Asian family walk up to my Model "A" Sedan at a car show. One of them spoke very broken English but asked respectfully if he could take a photo. I said yes. He takes several while the rest of the family point at things and speak in their native tongue. They really liked. When the one taking the photos was finished I asked if he would like to get in and I would take his picture. He was over joyed and spoke to the rest of the family and the were excited as well. I open the door for him and the entire group piled into the Sedan. Which was no easy task since it only had two seats. It was pretty funny to watch but all 5 of them got in there, I closed the door and snapped the photo. But to me the funny part was after they were out and thanking me, I asked the one guy if they were on vacation. He said yes. I said where are you from? He said Canada!

 

Not at a show, but it works so well with the other stories here I have to share it...

My grandfather on my mom's side, Tommy, was a combination guy at a local Silver Spring, Maryland dealership. To make some extra spending money, Tommy would buy economic "totals" back from the various insurance companies, put them back in shape, and resell them. Back before my mom and dad had met (this would be sometime in the mid 50s I would guess), my father's older brother (Hank) and their father (Henry) were out for a walk. Henry and Hank happened upon Tommy out in the yard working on some car.

After watching Tommy work for a while, they struck up a conversation. At some point, Henry proclaims, "I don't know why you're waisting your time on that car, it will never be right again."

With that, Tommy went back to work, pretty much ignoring Henry and Hank. A few minutes go buy and Henry says, "well, aren't you going to talk anymore?"

Tommy looks up, considers things for a moment, and replies, "You know, there's just no use arguing with stupid people."

Henry and Hank stood there for a few more minutes before Henry finally says to Hank, "come on son, I don't think he's going to talk to us anymore."

I don't know if Grandad Henry ever put two and tow together and realized that the man he'd insulted eventually became my father's father-in-law, but Grandad Tommy never forgot!

 

Maybe a little OT,but I had ridden one of my motorcycles to a cruise and spent an enjoyable few minutes listening to one guy telling his buddy all about my knucklehead.Trouble is its a 1938 flathead 74---------

 

I had an off topic Chevy pickup and I took it and my son took hid Opel GT to an outdoor car show. His license plate read "Honey I shrunk the Vette". Three kids came by and one of them asked "Did you really shrink that vette" and my kid said Yeah, the ol man washed it in hot water and it shrunk. I really think they believed it.

 

The Omega was an Oldsmobile. Pontiac made the Ventura with a Buick 350, and Buick had the Apollo. They all look like a Nova.

 

Buddy of mine built a 35 Desoto Airflow and put a small block Chevy in it. With a sense of humor he put fake Chrysler Hemi valve covers on the small block. At a show one day, a fellow walks up to him and says, "You're not fooling me, that's not a Chrysler Hemi, that is a Desoto 'baby' hemi". My buddy just replied, "Yep, you got me."

 

maybe 8 sec. 1/8 mile runs....

 

Or 60 foot times!

 

That's a model A joke, isn't it...

 

I think there is an unmet market for SBC and Ford Windsor valve covers with all sorts of different makes embossed/molded in them. Steel or aluminum, just make sure they have space for big rockers underneath. Me, I want SBF valve covers that have the Chrysler script logo. The Ford script on a SBC would be a big seller.

What percentage of the observers would be convinced? I'm guessing way more than half.

 

Or...."Yes sir. I understand your feelings since either would definitely be a move up for your sister and would make her family proud."

 

This didn't happen at a show, but it's just too stupid not to share.

My father owned an Exxon franchise in Capitol Heights, Md back in the 80s/90s. One day, after a fairly serious electrical storm had blown through and the electricity had gone out, a gentleman came in to fill up. I apologized, explaining that we had no power.

"I'm out of gas, I need to fill up!"

"I understand," I replied, explaining that he was welcome to come in and help himself to a free cup of coffee while he waited.

"How long before the power is back on?

"Don't know," I answered. "It's been off for about 20 minutes."

"But I'm in a hurry! Do you know if any of the other stations have power?"

I explained that I didn't know, but that it appeared that everything within a few blocks was out.

"Anything up the road?"

"Yes," I said, "but I don't know if they have power, and I can't call because our phones are out (they needed the power too).

The customer turned beet-red and stormed off, announcing, "If Exxon wanted the power to be on, it would be on!"

 

[QUOTE="ProTouring442, post: 11449038, member:

The customer turned beet-red and stormed off, announcing, "If Exxon wanted the power to be on, it would be on!"[/QUOTE].................................The genius of some people!....By the way, your Dad was a brave soul to be operating a largely cash business in that area.

 

Indeed... I'd love to have just the money that was stolen from that place over the fifteen years he owned it! I should write a book of just the things that went on there.

 

I had a fellow tell me all about how Cadillac made a "straight 16." I said, "You mean a V-16?" He said, "Nope, a straight sixteen." I said, "Wow, that must have been one long engine!" He said, "Yep, and Packard had a straight 16 as well," apparently not knowing that Packard never had a 16 cylinder engine, only a V-12. I just said, "That is really something," and walked on.

 

I believe this is a packard straight 12. I understand they built only one or two of these as a prototype and decided against it.

 

Guy and a girl walk up to my '30 coupe and he says:
"Nice '32, had it long? I had one just like this in college" He's grinning like a shit eating dog, and she's giving him the grinning idiot/mooneyes look ( that's MY man!!)
I figure, why burst his bubble, "Yup, you've got a real eye for cars, it's a '32 all right"
"Mind if we sit in it and you can take our picture?"
"No, no, not a problem, climb aboard."
Hands me his camera, gets in and starts explaining how everything was done and why, and how he did "his"-- total bullshit story. He probably posted the picture on facebook "I might buy this."
I just stood there grinning- hope he got lucky after that magnificent display of masculine stupidity!

 

You guys should probably stay away from the Surrey/Langley area where I live... And you definitely wouldn't wanna start running your mouths and making bets at cruise nights around here... I dont know about right at this moment, I dont get out to the track as much as I used to, but you go back 10-15 years, and I know close to a dozen guys with street driven cars that were regulars at the Java Hut that could have backed that shit up with a fistful of time slips...And two that could lay claim to 7's. Fact.

Looks like Harry is still around, and going a little faster...When I was around the scene, he was running low nines with a 540 and a single plate...On the street, he was running steel wheels and hubcaps. Car was driven a LOT. I would frequently see it parked on the street during the day in downtown Langley around 1999-2002 time frame, when I was still involved in the CPSA.

I am limited to what I can post, almost all of them were non-HAMB friendly body styles, I will see if I can find a pic of Murrays vette. I witnessed dozens of passes solidly in the 7's, and I saw it at cruise nights many times. I didnt, but a good friend of mine rode shotgun in the car on the street, and said it was actually more streetable than his 10 second car.

 

UGH !
After reading these encounters with the public, I'll vote for closing the car shows to the public ....... no, on second thoughts, those folks add to the entertainment value of the entire show. A "Ripleys Believe It Or Not"

 

After all the "people are idiots" stories, here's a more positive one I found amusing, from a couple years ago (don't think I've shared it here before):
At a show, maybe 400 or more cars. Yellow fad T bucket with a truncated T bed, 80s/90s style fat tires, some flames, fuzzy dice. You know the one. The owner looked easily in his late 70s, possibly even early 80s. I was checking out the car next to it when a couple older ladies (also at least in their early 70s) walked over and began admiring the T.
"Look, it's just like so-and-so's car from high school!"
"No, his was a truck. This one isn't a truck"
"Sure it is, look at the back"
"Nooo...I don't think so..."
The owner ambles over and explains that he built the car decades ago and has been updating it occasionally ever since.
"My friend here says it's a pickup, but I don't think so" explains the lady.
"Ah, I see" the owner replies. "You know, there's a way to tell. Here, hop in." He opens the door and the two women slide in, obviously enjoying themselves, and looking expectantly at the dashboard, and then back at the owner.
The owner closes the door, leans over and says "Now I picked you up, didn't I?"

It took a moment for the joke to sink in but when it did, those two ladies were tickled pink.
Put a smile on my face for the rest of the day!

 

I was gasing up my wifes 65 Chevelle ss and the kid I paid asked me if I had it since new and I replied"I bought it with my combat pay when I came back from The Korean War" and he said "That is Kool you would keep it all of those years".

 

One of the best life lessons/mottos I ever learned was about ten years: "Don't get into an argument with an idiot, he will beat you with experience every time."

In 2003 or 2004 I was at the Snohomish, WA fall car show. I've been a tri-five enthusiast for many years. I stumbled upon a humble, old school (70's/80's build) '56 210 2dr sedan. Something under the hood caused me to want to ask a question so I turn to the row of lawn chair jockeys behind the car and it's neighbors and say 'Are one of you the owner of this 210? This one guy comes flying out of his chair as if it was an ejection seat, practically foaming at the mouth, and shouts at me (yes, shouts) : "it's not a 210 it's a BELAIR!". Well I'm standing there a little dumbfounded, as I know my tri-five trim levels like the back of my hand. So, I humbly asked if it was a Belair retrimmed with 210 stainless. The car had no hints of any Belair trim on it anywhere, except for the dash inserts. He shouted again more loudly and firmly "it's a BELAIR not a 210!" At this point I'm more than a little startled and confused by this guy's reaction so without even thinking it through I asked/said something about if it had a 'C' in the VIN number for a Belair. The guy is now so visibly angry with me, that he looks like he might want to take a swing at me. I've sort of lost my balance, as it were, since this reaction was totally unexpected. I look at one of the other lawn chair guys and he gives me a wordless look and a headshake that says "You and I know it's a 210, but... let it go.". So, to diffuse the guy, I said 'Tell me about your car...'. He bought it three weeks prior, and by what he told me, it was clear he had no idea what he had bought. He calmed down a little bit, then stomped back to his chair. I gotta think I wasn't the first person to refer to it as a 210, or he wouldn't have flown out of his chair and shouted the way he did.

It wasn't funny in the moment, but I do laugh a little when I look back on it. I have noticed over the years that non-car people (mostly women) will refer to all the tri-five Chevs, regardless of trim-line as 'Belairs'. I usually give people a free pass. If someone shows interest in knowing the differences I will point them out to pass along my knowledge, but I'm fine with them labeling them all 'Belairs' if there is no real harm.

While my avatar photo is of the '56 210 HT my dad had when I was born, I have my own '56 210 HT now. I have overheard some know-it-alls say things to their friends like... "Chevy didn't make a 210 Hardtop, but this guy put 210 side trim on his Belair". Yahhh... righttt...

 

Don Murrays Corvette. This should clear up any bullshit about whether it ran sevens or not. I witnessed many full street trim 7 second passes, and saw the car on the street many times, and a close friend of mine rode in it on the street. At this time had a 648ci Donovan, EPD spread port heads, and a sheet metal tunnel ram with Accel DFI, backed with a glide. Was actually smoother and more streetable than most of the 750-800hp carbed 500-540 ci BB's we were running.

Up here in the great white north, the dogs are big and they bite.

 

I can just see some elitist rod-abilly dingus with a six cylinder 4 door 52 chevy, rolled cuffs and a pompadour, telling Harry his wheels are ugly, and he should swap them for Supremes and skinny white walls... Now THAT would be the funniest thing I'd heard at a car show...

 

Some fusky huckers too I hear!

 

and a few fart smellers...I mean smart fellers...

 

One more... I used to belong to a car club and was at an outdoor show where one of our members had his showcar level '57 Belair on display. The windows were all down and a guy strolls up, looks over the car then reaches in and grabs the top of the white driver's seat and gives it a squeeze like he was testing a melon in the grocery store. The owner of the car jumps up and says firmly, but politely... 'Please don't touch the car.'.

The guy, in a snarky tone says "I didn't see a sign saying I couldn't" (really, there needs to be signs for some people?)
My fellow club member pauses for a second, then with a smirk says to him "Is your wife nearby?"
The guy gets a puzzled look on his face before giving an embarrassed smile, nods and walks off.