Funniest lines from the parts counter

That video is brilliant! I haven't laughed that hard in a long time! My wife's in the other room asking what the hell is so funny?

 

Me: I need "part X" for my 55 Cadillac.
Guy: Did that one have dual ashtrays?

 

Yup, and you tell me about how the credit card company held your money for ten days after returning the last part that you were renting from me because the turnip you used for diagnostics rolled left instead of right. Then you tell me about the time that your wife used the pliers for a doorstop and you couldn't find them for weeks, which is why you returned the jumper cables after using them the once, to start your car.
Me?? I want the answer to my question, only the answer to my question, and not one word about your bad decisions, your buddy, who once had a Dodge "just like that one", except it was a four door, pale green and a six. With blackwall Monkey-Wards tyres, or that Ulta Cosmetics is a 'babe warehouse' (Yes, I got THAT Monday...).
Cosmo

 

Me: I'm here to pick up the part I ordered yesterday.
counter guy: that'll be $34.49
Me: that's the part number, not the price -
counter guy: ooops

Since almost all the parts stores have web sites, I have found it best to look up the part number yourself, regardless of application then just order the part by the number. Saves time and frustration.
I needed a 12V generator so that I could use the field and main body to convert the 6V one for my flathead and went to the local NAPA store here, told the oldest parts guy there what I was up to and he said yep, 63 Ford pickup, I'll order it ( and it was $45 exchange). Had it the next morning.

 

I usually know the era of what I'm looking for and try to work with the counter guys. When they ask what I'm working on, I say "Let's say a .........

Gary

 

should have seen the look I got today from the newbs ( and a smartass comment about diesels have no plugs ) when I asked for a set of spark plugs, wires , cap, rotor and points for a 1948 Cat D-8 Diesel ( pony motor starter ) my parts man Mark got all my parts without 2nd guessing and he informed them about the International td-6 dozer I also work on that uses spark plugs/gasoline to preheat the motor

 

Was in local napa a week ago. Guy comes in and says he needs some 3/8 fuel line counter man says how long. Guy says from now on !
Same guy month back come in ask for radiator cap for a Malibu counter guy said what year. He says its 2014 dummy! (the car was a 1968)

 

Going up I-75 in Georgia in the motorhome ('74 big block Chevy) pulling a trailer and I noticed the vacuum gauge was laying on zero and it was running funny. So I pulled into Wally World to fix it and found out the vacuum advance diaphram had popped.

I decided to walk to the parts store (there were 5 of them in a mile) to get one. When I asked for an "adjustable" vacuum advance for an HEI, all I got was a blank stare and "Say what?" was the response.

So, I went to the next store, same thing, next one same thing! All five stores didn't have a clue! There was one laying right there on that aftermarket distributor , but they wouldn't sell it to me.

Finally, I went back to the bus and capped the vacuum line and cranked it up to about 24 Deg. and drove away. Ran great! Fixed it when I got to a swap meet.

 

We didn't carry any "performance" lines in our store back when i worked there. I wouldn't have known what i could give you that came OEM.

 

It's been said before, but I'll repeat it, We as Hot Rodders are small potatoes as far as income to these auto stores(we are a minority) There sales are from businesses repairing newer cars! Cosmo! what are some of the businesses spending a year at your place? We don,t come close!! I have had real good experiences at most auto parts stores!! I don,t work at one and probably could not!! Try it first before you make fun of someone!! Pete

 

Well said and very true.

 

Me at the local Harley dealer: One set of points for a 1969FLH.
Dumb parts counter asshole: What are points?
Me: REALLY YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME?

 

Guy walks in with a starter and sets it on the counter. I can immediately tell it's not ours.

Customer: I bought this here and it's not working
Me: do you have your receipt? It doesn't look like the line we carry
Customer: no but I bought it here
Me: I dont think so, we don't carry this brand.
Customer: this is bullshit! I bought it here!(raising his voice)
Me: I'm sorry, I can't help you without the receipt. (This was before everything was.on computers)

... Long silence

Customer: well... Who carries this brand? I already went to Napa, Kragen and Chiefs and they all said it wasn't theirs.

I had to call him out on his bullshit attempt and he was out of the store quick before I could embarrass him further

 

I think I could read an entire forum just on this subject. Cracks me up

 

Kind of on topic: I worked at Lowe's tools dept for a while and learned way more from customers than I ever did from Lowe's trainings. The key is that some workers are too proud to admit they may not know all the answers and just listen to the customer and maybe learn something while helping them. Granted some customers just want to show they know more than you. A lot of times you can neutralize those guys if you show you want to help and are willing to learn something if they are willing to teach.

 

50 years ago when i was in trade school we sent a freshmen to the local parts store for a "muffler
bearing" for a 1960 chevy, well this supply house had a wicked grouchy counterman and i
swear we could hear him hollering all the way back to the school shop, those were the days !

 

actually the non chain box store around here sees more of our type ( other than there commercial accounts ) than the box brand stores due to the knowledge of the counter people as one store I know of they have to take tests to see how smart they are they do not hire minimum wage key pushers . when the advance openned across the street from my guy every thought that was going to be the end of them , actually it helped him as some people would rather get the right stuff the first time rather than have to take multiple trips because its what the key pusher said it was what the computer said it was . he actually has had some of his commercial accounts come back due to lost time from wrong parts being sent .

 

Ah! yes you right! You jogged my memory,I do remember the smaller parts stores,some even had a machine shop and a full time machinist on on duty!! The good old days!! Pete

 

I was lucky enough to work at one of those mom/pop shops. The owner, probably in his 70s was an old hot rodder and taught me a lot. I credit my interest in cars to him.

We also had a press in back to do axle bearings or small jobs like ball joints or idler bearings. Those were good times.

Sure was different than working in a chain store. Hand written receipts. No computer, just catalog rack. This was in the 90s so we were likely behind the times. We could correct prices to match attitude or simply tell people to get the hell out. Lol

Yeah that pretty much scarred me for life on how to tactfully deal with people. Haha

 

i brought a pair of edelbrock heads for my flathead to a machinist to have the valve pockets cut deeper. laid them on his counter and he asked, "what kind of tractors did these come off of?" i replied, "never mind," and took them elsewhere.

 

It's difficult hiring people who know what they're doing. First off, they have to apply. And you all don't apply. Now, at my store (DeKalb, IL), our staff is fair good. Our commercial guy is ex-Auto-Meter, ex-drag racer, ex-builder. Front end guy is Me. Manager is 18 years-plus auto parts. I know it's not the same elsewhere, but painting every Advance with the same brush is to do a disservice. It's like going to a cruise and stating that everyone there built their car by themselves.

Cosmo

 

Do you work a auto parts store, then you must have a million and one cool/fun/sad/scary/plain good story's to tell!
Cough up!

 

I have been. And I'm wearing the uniform right now (on lunch). Though a lot of the stories are just sad. Sad in that people try to fix what they should never try, because they cannot afford the labour costs.

Cosmo

 

........................here is a good one for the collection..............................

i own a 1984 Ford F-350 dullie with the original 6.9 IH diesel. i was having trouble with the batteries. i went to a local diesel shop and told them what was going on. the person working in the shop asked me to release the hood. he climbs up on the front end and was looking around and he started to remove the air cleaner. i asked him what he was taking that off for, he said he wanted to check the carburetor. i tried to stop him and he told me in a very obnoxious voice " i know what i am doing ". i said i thought this was a diesel shop! he said "this is a diesel shop", i asked him when was the last time he saw a carburetor on a diesel, they taught us that in auto shop in high school. i was about ready to grab this stupid kid and pull him off my truck and profusely beat him about the head and shoulders. but instead i went into the office and there was a bigger dummy there and she said he is our mechanic and he is certified. i told her to get out there and get him off of my truck before you have to call the police.

from there she followed me out to the shop and told him to stop what he was doing. i had to put parts back on my truck and when i was done she handed me a bill for $80.00. i asked what is that for and she responded for the work they had done. i looked her square in the eyes and told her to take her F****ng bill and put it where the sun will never see it. she said i am going to call the police. i told her to feel free to do it and i left. never heard anything since..............

 

@cosmo: Around he there are som damn good people, doing what you do, and does it well.

But there is no fun in the stories about them doing well, and no reason to give do respect if they are not here.

I have no reason to doubt your talent!! I bet you are the the kind of of guy I would drive long to give my business!

 

"Gimme a muffler for a Yugo"
"Six month or lifetime guarantee?"
"Six months should be enough"

 

Found a dead tarantula in the back room.
A shop ordered a master cylinder and we thought it would be funny to throw it in the box.
The driver took it down to the shop and the mechanic walked out to the truck to get the part and opened the box.
Turned out the mechanic had a huge phobia of spiders. He threw the box down and took off running and screaming.

We never told him it was us who put it in there, felt guilty. Haha

 

Any parts guys here ever charge a condenser with a plug wire and send it to a customer/shop?

We had a good relationship with the shops where we could pull pranks like that.

 

Seems like a damn good way to drive your bread-and-butter customers away. Apparently, you all have seen "Jackass, The Movie", far too often.

and none of the above two posts is "good relationship" in the retail or wholesale business.

Roger

 

Yogo, I'll stay