NINE INCH

LIFETIME Carnut, Builder, Cruzer, Hell raiser, B.S.er, WiseGuy. At age 8, I got my stomach pumped for drinkin a quart of Ethel Gas while showin off to my stingray buddies. Three days later, I climbed through the window of my Mom's 57 Belair, popped it in neutral, rolled across a four lane Hwy into a brand new 69 Firebird Convert. totalling both cars. I specialize in: (but only part time, of course) Amateur Gynecology, HotWheel Repair, Moving Mountains, Draining Oceans, Organizing Orgies, Fixing Tickets, Lifestyle Coaching, Anti-Terrorism Consulting, Surplus Ships, Used Rockets, Taming Tigers, Plotting Assassinations, Emptying Bars, Starting Revolutions, Cleaning Haunted Houses, Running Governments, Bail Bonds, Recycled Gravel, Fly Swatters, Bright Ideas, Vintage Auto Appraisels, Pyrotechnic Apprentice, Wet T-Shirt and Beauty contest Judge. Tightrope testing, Diecast Car & Toy collector, Ratfink Junkie, Street Racer,
Tri-Five Trivia, Beer sampling, Whiskey Importing. Speed Equipment, Etc.