Funniest lines from the parts counter

so , you like calling and wasting someone's time? meanwhile real customers are waiting . you have nothing better to do?

 

Do you also call bowling alleys and ask if they have 8 pound balls?

 

i get a kick out of guys who think parts counter guys are all idiots , but then when they are stuck or need advice on how to repair something you call for advice

 

Once on a trip to Hamb drags in Joplin,drivin my A roadster with 348 engine- I broke down[Generator puked] on 71 hwy south of KC,I got a lift to the nearest O'Reilley's auto parts store....
I proceed to ask the young counter man if he could get me a generator as a replacement.

He said "that little Honda over there puts out a steady 3500Kw" and a peak 5000Kw"......."Ya think That should handle all your needs?"

I then proceeded to Wal Mart where I got a fully charged, deep cycle Marine battery and drove on without a generator.

 

Kind of strange to here that folks think you should just give them a part because of a lifetime warranty , but sometimes it actually happens!
A number of years ago I was on a trip to Salt Lake City, when the starter on the 351 ford motor in my 50 Ford took a dump, on Sunday in Utah, there often is not a whole lot open and the starter had to be bought at a Pep Boys. I got home and a short time later the starter failed , I took it back to the closest Pep Boys and got another, this one lasted less time than either of the others , back it went. When the next one failed , I was stuck at home with no other car , had to walk about a mile and carry the starter. When I got there , the counter man , who had already given me a couple of starters, brought out TWO starters ,told me to take one for a spare , so I would not have to walk again when it went bad! The last one I got lasted till I sold the car.

 

I walked in Timber Line Auto Parts …. Carmichael Ca
The guy behind the counter was down on his elbows scoping a top heavy hot little gal walking down the sidewalk out front ….. with binoculars.

Then he looks at me and says “welcome to Timber wolf auto parts”

 

I went into Harbor Freight the other day looking for JB Weld. I ask the kid ,"Where is your JB Weld?" He tells me Aisle 6. I go over to aisle 6 and I can't find it anywhere. I find the kid again and tell him I can't find it. He says 'FOLLOW ME" as we are walking toward his destination he says"What kind of welder was that again?"

 

This is what I went thru while working at a certain parts store one evening:

Customer - I need some brake pads for my truck
Me - Ok, sir...what year?
Customer - "" Ford truck.
Me - Okay...2wd?
Customer - Yep
Me - 1/2 ton?
Customer - Yes

I gave him the options for the brake pads we had in stock, and went to retrieve his choice from the shelf.

Customer - That's not them
Me - Ok...well, let's check again (I verified year, make, model).
Customer - Yep, but that's not them. I've only got 2.
Me - 2?
Customer - Yeah, 2.

I explained to the customer that yes, you have 2 (on each side). I even went to the shelf and grabbed a random caliper to show how they fit. And with some help of the customer behind him in line, explained how they are installed in the vehicle.

Customer - Ok, I'll take them, but I only got 2.

I have no idea what the inside of this guys rotors or the inboard pads looked like...I just hoped I never got in front of him at a red light. I thanked the customer that helped me explain to the guy how his brakes actually worked. We had a good laugh and I asked him what he needed...turns out he needed a caliper. Just happened to be the caliper I randomly grabbed off the shelf.

There was also the customer who came in with a friend one evening furious about the defective battery we sold him. He walked in and slammed the battery down on the charging station at the end of the counter. I walked down, looked at the battery that still had the protective plastic caps attached, pulled them off, and said "Try it now". He grabbed the battery and cussed me all the way to the door.

 

ME: I need points for a 1950 chevy, 6 cylinder
Parts Guy: Do you need all 6??

 

This is my favorite one! Should of asked so when did Ford start making cars? LOL

 

Me: I need a distributer cap for a 62 Chevy 409. It has duel points.
Counter person; My book does not list any dual points for a full sized car. you must be wrong!
Does that look like my imagination sitting in your parking lot?

 

I've worked in parts since I was 17, I'm now 37. I can see it from both sides. I've seen a lot of stupid customers, but also get annoyed at seemingly unnecessary questions or green parts people that don't even know the parts of a car. I can tell you that sometimes it is worth your while to just give the correct answers if you want the right part. I work at a Toyota and Honda dealer, (no, I don't own either), but sometimes the month of production, number of doors or country of origin makes a difference. I screwed myself the other day when I looked up a speedometer cable for my '69 Nova on the O'reilly site. The car came with a 307, but I picked 350 figuring, "they're all the same" every bad customers favorite line. Well, apparently they are not the same, when the cable was wrong, I looked it up for the 307 and it had the proper clip on speedo attachment and not he screw on one that the 350 cable had. Who would have thought? Yes there are stupid parts people and questions, but sometimes stuff you wouldn't think would matter does.

 

^ ^ ^

There are also parts books that are wrong. In this case, I'm saying the parts book or computer had the wrong information.

 

I was at an Autozone once buying a trans filter and gasket for a 2002 Explorer.
After all the questions, I have the filter and gasket in hand.

Parts guy: You do realize that is a non-serviceable transmission, I used to work at a dealer
Me: Then why are you selling me these parts?
Parts guy: (blank look)

Went home, did the drain-change-fill thing. Just had to pump the fluid through a trans line fitting. The trans has no dipstick (which I knew from the start) Non-serviceable my ass

 

Yep... was just going to post the same thing.

A couple weeks ago, I called Advance for plugs for my 75 REPU that "The Kid" is driving right now.

"Discontinued" says the parts jockey. "I got some Autolites for it".

Asked about an alternate number NGK.

"I have to special order those... 2-3 weeks and you gotta pay shipping".

So I called a buddy who works at CarQuest.

"Not in stock... have them for you in the morning"

Picked them up the next day at about half what the other place wanted to charge.

Rotor

 

Years ago....

I heard a customer at the counter say they needed a part for their Pontiac Ocfi!

Well being that I'm a hardcore Pontiac person that thought I knew almost everything about Pontiacs, this one knocked me for a loop.

So I asked the person just what the hell a Pontiac Ocfi was? They told me that it was the model of their car.

W.T.F.!!!!

So I went outside to see what a Pontiac Ocfi was. And in the parking lot was a Pontiac Sunbird and on the front fender was a factory emblem, OHC/FI (Overhead Cam/Fuel Injected)

Freakin' Pontiac Ocfi

 

Them: Can I help you?

Me: I need a turn signal flasher for a 90 buick century. (had old one in my hand but I did not show him)

Them: There over here (Walking to an isle) Front or Back? (he asked)

Me: ???....There is only one flasher...( Finally getting to the isle)

Them: ( looking at small Bulbs ) I am not sure which one you want.

Me: Well I dont need a bulb I need this..(showing the flasher) Thanks anyways I see them here next to the bulbs.

 

In appreciation for the real parts pros...I walked into Martin and Auterbeck, in Washington, DC with a Stromberg 97 carb. The old guy behind the counter walks away before I got to the counter, comes back and throws a faded box on the counter and says $147.00. I never told him I needed a rebuild kit for it, he just knew. I asked him about the price, why is it so high? Without missing a beat, son I have never seen you before, and not many people left know what is in your hand, and that tells me none of your regular suppliers have it, so that is the price! Just love the old guys that know their stuff!

 

American Motors is that an Import or Domestic ? Ugghhhh Palm on face never mind.

 

Working in auto parts for most of my life now, there is just as much from one side of the counter as the other. (From the BACK side of the counter)

1. Cust - I gotta 1979 Cadillac Fleetwood Brougham limited, landau roof, air conditioning, power steering, power brakes, 8 track cassette player.

Me - Ok. What do you need?

Cust - I need sparkplugs

Me - Ok, what motor you got in that.

Cust - Hell, I don't know, ain't that in the computer?

2. Cust - I need brake pads for a 1994 Toyota Corolla.

(I give them prices and info)

Cust - Ok, is that each? I only need 1 pad for one side, that's all that's worn down.

3. Cust - I need spark plugs...I've got a 1989 Buick "38 Letray".

Me - Sir, there's no such thing as a "38 Letray"

Cust - Dude, it's on my car. It's a 1989 and it says "38 Letray"

Me - Sir, there is no such car...it's gotta be a Park Avenue or Skylark or something.

Cust - Can I talk to someone else that knows then?

Me - Sir, I'm an ASE certified mechanic and parts person. There's not a "38 Letray". I'll tell you what...you got the car here? Let's go take a look at it.

(We walk outside...and then...it hits me)

Me - Bud...that says 3.8 Litre. Litre! Not Letray. That's a Park Avenue. 3.8 Litre.

 

I work at a Ford dealer on the back counter, working with the techs. One of my guys wanted an aftermarket gas cap for a 97 F250. There were 2 different F250's in 97, a light duty built off of the F150 platform, and the F250 that was the older F250/F350 platform...I call one of our aftermarket parts houses, and TOLD him it was for the heavier duty truck. He asked me for GVW, and then if it screwed in or snapped in (half turn to lock). I told him where he was going with his questions, and had him look it up for an F350 instead. Found it right off the bat.
It's not just aftermarket places that get things sideways. Here's a little lesson. Ford part numbers go prefix-group-suffix. Generally, the prefix helps identify the vehicle line..this is still true even with Ford's "world numbering" system. The group helps identify the part itself, say 6000-6999 is engine, 7000-7999 trans, 13000-13999 is electrical, etc. The suffix is for the engineers, helps denote running changes, IIRC.
Anyway, we have this little black plastic cap that snaps on the base of a late model F150 antenna, makes it look pretty. It's base (group) part number is 18A297..now, bear in mind that 18000-18999 is for heaters and radio. If you look this part up, the catalog refers to it as a capacitor..sombody at Ford decided that, since the part in question falls in the radio group, and that the base is a cap, that MUST be short for capacitor!!
That's okay, it gets crazy on the other side of the counter too. One time at Town East in Mesquite, I was helping the front counter. I had a gentleman who wanted to show me something on the radio of his car, so I followed him outside. He ad taken the radio down to the board and wanted to see if I had a freaking transistor in stock!! I told him that we don't service parts down to the component level..
I get people thinking I can look up parts for Ford Marine, or an LN7000, and when i tell them we don't have a catalog for that, they invaribly say..well FORD built it!! I reply, Ford built a Trimotor aircraft too, but I don't service parts for that either..

 

a couple weeks ago i had a customer come in and lays down a crappy ,filthy old air conditioning compressor. after year/make/model he says he needs it replaced under warranty as it's gone bad

me...can i see the receipt?

customer......doesn't have one from us , he bought it used at junkyard

me.....i can sell you a new one and you have to pay for it , i can do nothing on something you bought used somewhere else


customer........he did check on the price of a new one with us , but our price was too high for him. and since our prices are too high and we forced him into a used one it is our responsibility. we should just do the right thing

he was serious....i am not kidding

 

At a peterbilt truck dealer parts department

Me I need a muffler for peterbilt 379.

Counter guy .. Do need the muffler lube ?

Me Muffler lube??

Counter guy for the bearings to stay luberucated with the exhaust temperatures .

You could only can only imagine looks and laughs from the other customers. The parts guy was dead serious.

 

When I worked at ford as a mechanic back after high school we had a technical school experience student asset program if I recall correctly this female student was doing a "lof" lube,oil , filter and removed the oil cap with a a pair of pliers. Since we all had to help her along to get a feel for things . I told her to fill out a p& a for a new cap . The back counter guys were stumped for a minute trying to figure out what she wrote. Laughter filled the back counter when the one guy asked when we started to carry 710 caps.

 

All women must think they are 710 caps. Every time I hear that story, it's told about a woman.

 

I will throw in a couple. I long time ago I worked in a machine shop and eventually got to the point where I could run most jobs and had the trust of the foreman of the shop. Had a young guy come in with some heads and began to explain that he had gone to school to learn how to port and polish heads and that these were the most special ported and polished heads in the whole world and he wanted me to mill them .060"
Me:OK Did you bring the manifold?
Him: You do not need the manifold just mill the heads
Me: Your the boss!
He was back in 2 days pissed as hell because I screwed up his heads because the manifold wont bolt up!
Well no kiddin - Now do you want me to mill the manifold to match?

My youngest is a Mech Eng and worked for a firm that farmed him out to to a big manufacturer to work in their R and D. They set him to work designing test cells for experimental engines. The first thing he asked was to talk to the mechanics that bolted all this stuff together so he could avoid any pitfalls. The manager said it was a waste of time but the kid insisted and they took him to the shop and introduced him to the mechanics. They were all open mouthed because no one ever asked for their input BEFORE a test cell was designed. He got along great with them for the rest of time he was there.

 

I was working at a parts house in a small town. Lots of small farms and ranches in the area. This old cowboy comes in one day with a cheek full of tobacky and say "Needs me a noil fidder fer a nay din." I got the oil filter part but I couldn't decipher the nay din. So I replied "An oil filter for what???" He gets pissed and shouts "Nay din! Nay din! For tractor nay din!"

Once I knew it was a Ford tractor, then the 8N name sense.

Another time a guy come in and says " I need an air filter for a Briggs Stratton. I know they only make 2, a big one and a little one but I need the one in between."
After I picked my jaw off the counter, I asked if he had it with him. He brought it from his truck and I was able to find what he needed. It was for a Tecumseh.

Another one. I answer the phone one day and I hear "Hang on." I hear footsteps and an engine starts up. Somebody wings the throttle hard and revs it a couple of times 'til the lifters were hanging out the tail pipe. He then gets back on the phone and says "What you thinks wrong with it?"

Another one. I get a call one day from the better business bureau. Someone had filed a complaint saying he bought a carburetor from us. He had a 4 barrel but he traded it in to us and we gave him a 2 barrel instead. His story is that he didn't notice the difference until he already installed it and drove the car (?). It was an old GM car and there ain't no way any Rochester 2 barrel is going to fit in place of a quadrajet. How do you explain this to two people who obviously don't even know what a carb barrel is? I finally asked the BBB lady to call any BBB shop memeber she could and ask them if what the guy was saying was even possible. I never heard back from them.

 

I worked at a Chry-Ply-FIAT dealer in the late '70s in the Parts Department. My first job as a parts guy, but I knew enough about Chrysler parts to be stupid, you know what I mean? Anyway, a guy comes in and wants a head gasket for a 1951 Plymouth Cranbrook. I'm thinking that there is no way that we'd have that gasket, as it was nearly 30 years old, and the dealership was only five years old.

I grabbed what we called the "early book" (actually, the parts books from 1970 and earlier) and looked up the part number, then ran it in the computer. Sure as hell, we had two in stock, sweet! Turned out that the dealership owner was into late '40s Mopars and actually had quite a bit of engine and other driveline parts in stock for '46 - '54 Mopars, as well as a few brake and electrical items that Chrysler had "NS1" coded years before. So, when someone came in to get '40s or '50s parts, it was no big deal to check. Learned a lot at that job, before going across the street to the Chevy store a few months later.

 

Pops - good to see you on here - I'm the kid he's talking about - haha.


I'll share since I'm here - was helping a buddy rebuild his motor and he had a bit of a bigger cam in it so we decided we better degree the cam. Went to three different places

Us: Need a cam degree wheel
Parts counter dudes: "What is that?"

I figured at least one person between 20 at several different stores would know.....i was wrong!