Older and Stupider or Just One of Those Days

I think I may have posted this incident quite some time ago on this forum, but since I am an old forgetful fart now, I don't remember... but anyhow I was taking my 1948 Plymouth to my brother-in-law's place for bodywork. We hauled it there on a trailer (my future son-in-law, my brother-in-law and myself). Unloaded the car from the trailer at the top of his driveway, which was on an incline down to his garage. The car wasn't fully operational at that point, so we just pushed it a bit to get it lined up with the driveway. I jumped in to steer it down his driveway and pull in to his garage, while sitting on a large block of wood, since the seats had not been installed yet. The car started rolling OK, but when I stepped on the brakes to slow it down a bit, the brake pedal just about went to the floorboards. So now I'm pumping the brake pedal like a madman, while tightly grabbing the steering wheel for support, and sitting on an unsecured block of wood. I forgot that I never bothered to install the nut on the steering shaft. Yep, you guessed it...the steering wheel popped off of the shaft, so now I'm still pumping the brake pedal like an idiot, and holding the loose steering wheel in my hands. I managed to jam the steering wheel back onto the steering shaft, and was deciding where to aim the car, because at that point I was heading directly for his Kubota tractor, which was parked just past his garage. Finally the brakes slowed the car enough that I didn't plow into his Kubota, and we rolled to a stop. I think I nearly shit myself thru all that, and when I got out of the car, my brother-in-law and my future son-in-law were both laughing their asses off. I only wish that we had been video taping that whole fiasco. It seems hilarious now, but at the time I wasn't laughing.

 

Thats pretty funny

 

These are so funny I can hardly read some of them thru my tears of laughter. And now that I know there are a bunch of of us crazies, maybe I can back off on my medication a bit.
Oh, my turn? OK. First one that comes to mind was back in 1971. We all didn't have the money or tools we seem to have today. Had a '66 Vette, and no hydraulic jack. Just a stupid friggin' screw/scissors jack, and you can prolly see where this is going. I was working on the Vette in a small single car garage, rear wheel off to do something or other. I was not under the car, so no need a jackstand right? (STUPID!!) All of a sudden the Vette starts moving sideways toward me, as the scissors jack just started leaning over. It was all happening pretty slowly, so I could see it coming. Only way to stop it: Back to the wall, feet on the rockers to hold it from coming over any further, and hollered to the wife in the house for help. She got a jackstand under it, rearranged the $%^&%$% jack, and saved the day, my ass, the wall, and a nice Vette. Last time I ever used a scissors jack for anything.

Plenty of others thru the years. Result: Whenever I want to estimate how long a job should take, I multiply that by 3 and it's pretty accurate. That covers: do overs, bolt searching, misplaced part seraching, going to store for broken part or tool replacement, and oh yeah, injuries. I often come in from the garage and tell my bride that it should be illegal for me to work on cars.

 

You gotta look at the positive side, atleast you dident drive the car on the trailer anyways with no brakes. My friend did that and drove off the front of the trailer into his truck!! I also screwed up loading my trailer, I was loading a 78 f100 and both ramps kicked out and fell off the trailer, got the truck hung so I put it in reverse and tried to pull it off the trailer. All I ended up doing is ripping the parking gear outta the truck I was towing the trailer with... Im just happy my friends dident get me on camera, probly woulda ended up on Worlds Dumbest..

 

My buddy Dick was putting his car on jackstands to do some undercarriage cleaning. He needed to move one of the stands slightly to line up under the frame, and decided to do it with the car coming down very slowly. Dumb.

Well, he somehow was dumb enough to get his finger between the jack stand and the frame. It gets better..... he could not reach the jack handle to stop it from coming down,or to raise it back up, off of his finger. He was at home alone, in an unattached garage far from the house. Neighbors are far away.

He ended up having to tear his finger off to get out of there and get himself to the hospital

 

Maybe not on the left coast but it sure is on the right! HRP

 

Jeeeeeeesussssssssssssssssssssss.Sounds like the story of my life.
Good luck.Have fun.Be safe.
Leo

 

I put aluminum drums on a car originally equipped with iron. It turns out the studs were longer on cars with the thicker alum. drums.

Well, I was tow-barring it with another car. And lost a wheel from the rear of the one being towed.

Nothing like a ground-off shock-mount & AWOL wheel to teach you to measure nut / stud engagement.

 

Had a buddy invest tons of money and time in a 32 he was building. Decided to farm out the paint to a very high dollar painter. Car turned out great, paint looked incredible. Backed his closed trailer up to the 32 and loaded it up, tied it down. Five year build finally coming to a fantastic end! Drove her home like your first born coming home from the hospital. Untied the hold downs and carefully winched the 32 down his trailer ramps. In his haste he somehow let the winch free wheel where upon the car hit the interior of the trailer and destroyed his front fender and broke his heart! Stared at the damage for about a month in his garage before he was able to get himself to take it back to the body shop and have it repainted. Expensive, "stupider" yes, and this guy is a retired electrical engineer! happens to us all.

 

Nope , never done anything like that before.

 

As Jimmy Durante used to say...

"I got a million of 'em."

 

Its late one night, just finished putting the fully painted V8 back in the fully painted engine bay of my buddies late 50's panelvan. the front end was on jack stands with the rear wheels on the floor and brakes locked solid. What could go wrong?
He put heavy shag pile carpet under the van to make it more comfortable to work under the car... the jack goes under the shiney painted engine xmember to lift the car off the stands. we get the stands out ...all clear! start letting down the jack and as we all know the jack must be able to move smoothly on its wheels all the while maintaining a firm lift on the xmember but.... the wheels of the jack get stuck in the carpet and the head of the jack slips across the smooth lifting surface and the car comes down rather quickly I thought.
the jack is now buried in the oilpan!!
Oh well , lets pull the engine out again and fix it...tomorrow.

 

Another one that chaps my hide but good.
Finished an EFI swap on a SB & sold a trans so I could rebuild another & put it in. Ran perfectly, was geared great & got good mileage. Drove through several hundred miles and a mess of snow (which I'm used to.) but then didn't calm it down on the off-ramps and spun on ice. Still need to fix what happened.

 

Once installed my brand new, custom built Griffin radiator, got a phone call, and left the 1/2" wrench on one the pulley bolt. When I went back and started the engine, the steel wrench won it's disagreement with the aluminum radiator. That's how I know steel is stronger than aluminum.

 

8 beers into a 6-pack huh???? That somes it up!...

 

God I am glad I am not alone anymore not that I really thought I was!
So I borrowed my friends new GM rollback and picked up my 64 Chev 2 door post at the body shop. Delivered it to the garage and dropped it in the driveway. Pulled ahead a bit and got out for lunch. Afterwards I figured I would help my friend out by washing the rig before I took it back but the hose was just a bit short so I jumped in and back up a "bit". What I did not see in the rear mirror was how close the rear car lift was to my new car and it's radiator. Yep, punched a nice hole right in the center of the radiator all the while my wife was standing there thinking I was trying to move the 64 back a bit intentionly! Made me so sick I pushed the car into the garage and covered it up for two weeks!

 

I was rotating an engine by hand to bring it up to TDC. Dropped the distributor in put #1 plug back in and fired it up! Forgot to take the long 1/2 ratchet off the crank bolt! VERY NOISEY and messy.

 

I was building 49 Plymouth and needed to lift it up to do some work on the underside, I had an old air operated bumper jack (the kind that has arms on both sides and fits under almost the whole bumper). I put it under the front frame rails since it didn't have a bumper or a grille yet and proceeded to lift it up reeeeeall high (about 3 feet). I went to grab some rather large stands and about that time something moved (still dont know exactly what) and the frame rails came off the jack, the car came crashing down, the arms caught both fenders to each side of the hood opening and tore the entire front end up. I ended up having headlights that were about 2 feet higher than they were supposed to be. I let out a scream, walked to the door, shut off the light and didn't go back in for a few months until I could envision myself driving it again. Funny thing is, I fixed all the sheet metal and it ended up fitting better than it did before.

 

i have a story about stoopid.
got the 9mm out to scare some deer out of the yard. got off 4-5 rounds, shooting
behind them. next day the son-in-law and i were walking to the shop and he asked me what the holes were for in one of the shop doors. 2 bullets had ricoched off the cement and put 2 holes in the door.

 

Had a way o/t "plastic fantastic" Corvette, whose 4 speed overdrive became a two speed powerglide after playing with a Mustang. Being too cheap to call a tow truck, I call a friend with a trailer and we proceed to attempt to load it up. Halfway onto the trailer, the car stops and won't budge. Look around see nothing hanging on anything, decided it was just the tranny acting up and hit the gas again. Loud ripping noise- the sharp edge of the steel loading ramp cut my pristine floor board out as slick as a sawzall.....yeah, the tow truck woulda been cheaper.

 

Reminds me of the time I had my 9mm out for..........anyways, A friend comes over so I decide to put it up. My normal way of doing things is pull the clip out, cock it and pull the trigger aiming at the floor. I seen two clips in the table, so I slide it back and pull the trigger,BOOM.............I killed my recliner, I can still feel the STOOPID drippin off me. By the way I have 3 clips, not 2. My friend, sitting on the couch didn't flinch or say anything, he knew I fucked up. And yea he still comes over regularly.

 

For me, in my younger years when something bad happened.....it was a blue streak (heard around the block) and things went flying with force from my hands (usually damaging something else) and didn't calm down for hours........these days.....as soon as it occurs and no one is injured (me)......I just laugh....cause I did it all on my own!!!!!

 

hilarious!!

 

" about 8 beers into a six pack at the time........",


..................just goes to show that it's true, 5 out of every 4 adults have difficulty with fractions.

 

"haste makes waste" I got a lot 'o waste between my ears - Ha! chin up and move on.

 

To get my car off the floor to work under it I jack up the front end and slide ramps under the front wheels then jack up the rear and support with jackstands.
Last week I jacked up the front and put the ramps under the front wheels pulled the jack out and the car crashed down the ramps and rolled back about 5 feet. Damage none ,cause the 68 year old dummy (me) did not block the rear wheels or put the car in gear .It's not old age I have done stupid things on occasion for my whole life.
,

 

So I had to close my shop in 2010 - economy no good
Last load on a summer day pushing my Harbour Freight trailer with the front wheel on a tube deal.
Pushing it alone up slight grade in driveway in redwood droppings. Wearing tennis shoes of course.
Slip land chest first on top of the type (3" diameter or so)
Wind out instantly trailer rolls over me
Wife drives me in to ER
Two cracked ribs and an EKG in case I popped the pericardial heart sack.
Missed open heart surgery by a little
Ribs still hurt
Me be a dumbass


Posted from the TJJ App for iPhone & iPad

 

ouch !!

 

Im sure Ive done something like that but I cant remember right now.

rolls back while jacking, off of x-member .....are you sure this part of the sentence needs a comma?

 

ok,i will join the club i was backing on to drive on ramps,thats part one off stupid ,part two the ramps where wet tires started to spin not smart enough to let off you now the rest ,tires got traction up and off the end bang i didnt even wont to look ,my wife was there, the look in here face said it all.$2200 and ten years later i thought i would have forgotten ,damb the memory is still there like it was yesterday ,guess im not there yet