Funniest lines from the parts counter

Goober and Gomer were cousins.

 

at the advance store:
my granddad I need a alternator for a f600
counter what motors in it
granddad 330
counter (looking at computer) we dont have anything bigger than a f350
granddad they used the same one forever just give me that one
counter OK but you know you cant return it once you install it
me uhhg

 

What's your zip code?
"Ninety two thousand, threehundred and forty five"
Uh, that's too many numbers, ill just use mine.
"Ok"

 

I can do this ALL day. My favorite co-worker back in the early 90s was a great parts man just not good with people. If someone came in and dropped a part on the counter and said "gimme that" he would ask what it was. If they couldn't tell him he would say "If you don't know what it's called then HOW do you know it's bad!!". We were constantly asked for tune-up and torque specs. A buddy asked me for the point gap for his old Ford, he had no feeler gauge. I told him use a dime. Week later he comes in cussing me for givin him "bogus" info. Said he didn't have a dime so he used 2 nickles!! peace

 

LOL that's classic!!!

 

here's one I remember somebody posting at some point: "I don't care how long you point at it, the computer says we don't have it".

 

In the early 70's I worked in a parts store.

Customer: need a tune-up kit for my little pickup
Me: what brand of truck?
Customer: one of those little Japanese jobs
Me: I need more info to go on than that
Customer: THE RED ONE IN THE PARKING LOT...JEEEZ
Me: GO OUT, READ THE TAILGATE AND REPORT BACK

 

For all the parts people that have to put up with newbies they work with who think that They know it all,ask them to find these items in the warehouse or parts listings, to look it up in a parts catalog ....Muffler bearings , carberator belt for anything with injection, halogen headlamp fluid ,rads or waterpumps rad hoses for air cooled engine cars , distributors or tune up parts for diesel engines,distributors caps and rotors for distributor-less engines etc.
Have Fun and Enjoy !! LOL!!

 

Somehow I suspect that the counter guy that you are attempting to feel superior to can spell carburetor and radiator and water pump. Ron

 

I have sold parts for years at almost all the major chains, I have heard and dealt with quite a lot of these situations. </br></br>From the other side of the counter by far my favorite one is when you ask the customer that clearly shouldn't be working on their car... "What year is your vehicle?" </br>Without fail every time they will look out the front windows at their car in the lot like it will have a magic glowing sign above it with the year. </br></br> Being in Aurora we called it the "A-town turn-a-round"

 

All this talk has made me nostalgic for our long gone local family owned parts store. It was probably just like most parts places up untill the 80's or 90's. You remember this place too, the one that was down in the industrial/commercial area of town, with the gravel parking lot. Ours had a front door but I never saw anyone use it, we always came in the side door off the gravel lot. Inside there was a lowered counter for setting your greasy parts on. The wood floors were oil stained and squeaky, the stools at the counter were dirty and torn. There was two four foot racks of catalogs on the counters and ashtrays full of butts. The brake lathe was always turning, you could hear it out front and the speed parts on the wall were all covered with dust. There was a sign over the counter that said " The wrong information will get you the wrong part...EVERY TIME" I once took a SBC short water pump in for a replacement; the counter guy said "What's that off, a boat?" When I told him it was off my truck he just turned around and went back in the stacks and came back with the pump, didn't even look up in a catalog. He said he'd never seen a Chevy waterpump like that....

 

From my house 1st - Advance Auto, Auto Zone, then O'Reilly - I need a 1/2 x 20 thread chaser to clean the threads on the U bolts that's holds the rear end to the rear springs on my shoebox (going to drop it another inch). 1st stop kid says "may I help you?" - Me where are the thread chasers at? kid "what?" - Oh over here - and he points at thread inserts - I say no - I need a 1/2 x20 thread chaser - you know it's used to clean the threads - kid then asked the 2 other kids behind the counter if they knew - one then said we don't carry anything like that. Next Auto Zone middle aged adult waits on me - he's at a complete lost as to what I needed - finally O'Reilly a young man behind the counter he tells me what aisle it's in and then I go to pay and tell them what had just happen and they couldn't believe it.
Guys what are we going to do?

 

My local O'reilly's is pretty good, I have gotten a blank stare once or twice when asking for a part, so I explain what the part is/does and they're able to help me. Most of the people there are younger and learning so I don't treat them like garbage when they don't know the interchange on a part. Seems like some folks on here get off on treating the parts guys like shit and that's too bad.

 

I was becoming a regular at my last O'Reilly's and they got to know me a bit, but not my projects. There was nobody in line one weekday and the counter guy was messing with me so I played back (all in fun).

me - Looking for a clutch plate, flywheel and throwout bearing.

counter guy - Year, make, model? *typing*

me - 1950 chevrolet 3100 with a 2002 avalanche 5.3L carbureted, 1983 Silverado R20 NP833 transmission, 1979 trans am rear end, 1972 c10 trailing arm suspension, 1988 silverado driveshaft, Mustang II front end, Thunderbird rack and pinion...Oh and the throwout bearing needs to be from a Corvette with an LS7. (all true)

counter guy - *typing*...*more typing*...looks up at me and says "What? Wait a minute...what kind of dumbass puts a carb on 5.3L?

me - Oh. I just remembered that I wrote down all the part numbers for you.


A little repect and humor goes along way on both sides of the counter. I have my go-to guys and I follow some of my own home-made rules such as don't go in with piddly, look-in-the-book crap on Saturday morning when they're slammed.

 

I for one love my local NAPA store, All the employes know me by name and know my charge account, so I don't have to tell them. The two main people there are both car people. They were able to find new Wheel cylinders and rebuild kits for a 1943 1.5 ton truck.

When their working, I know I will find the part I need.

 

had a guy come in and ask for "cable heads"...... his words, exactly.

i'll give you a coupla minutes before i come back and tell you what they are.

 

Pending what region he's from - probably terminals for battery cables, since they're known as that by some.

 

" I need a water pump for a 65 Mustang, 289. I have the aluminum pump..."
" Is that a 2 or 4 barrel carburetor?"

Or..I need spark plug wires for a 73 camaro with a 350. They bring me HEI wires. I tell them they are not coorect. HEI started in 1975. he say's that's what the computer calls for so that's all I can sell you.
So I say, ok, get me wires for a 68 Camaro with a 350...He brings me the correct wires but tells me he can't give me the warranty because it's not the correct application...
MORONS!!!!

 

I can ALMOST understand that question being asked from the standpoint of the intakes possibly being different between a 2 or 4 barrel carb. Not saying they are, but that may have been the train of thought.

 

Which Bricklin do you have, the AMC 4 spd or the Ford auto?

I worked in the repair shop at Bricklin in 1975, drove both versions in the parking lot to stress them a bit. Didn't take much to mess up the door operation. I might have worked on yours.

 

I ran a jobber back in the 70's...
I remember one day a guy comes in for tune up parts...
and then asks me if we sell those twack dell lights.
It was real hard to hold the belly laugh in

 

Just before the LSRU, I went into the local O'Reily's. I asked the kid behind the counter for a 190 degree thermostat for my 51 Packard. He starts typing and stops and asked me 'who makes Packard" ? We live in a world where they don't teach hand writing or spelling in school anymore. The school tells you to go buy a spell checker ! Just like when we were kids and would ask how to spell a word, they would tell you to go look it up in the dictionary.......Crazy world we live in...........

 

At pepboys i asked for a fuel pump.As soon as i said 65 dodge,he freaked out and just kept saying no-no-no-.I replied yes-yes-yes.I new the store had the old books behind the counter and showed him how to look it up.Even after we looked up the part ,the manager got upset .It pays to be persistant ,at times.

 

Warranty only means its a garanteed piece of sht!!!!!.

 

Bought a window regulator for an Ot truck yesterday. Made me go through the whole thing, 2wd or 4wd, which engine, trans etc.

I just kept saying 4x4 regulator.

 

People are dumb sometimes. eBay listing for a set of '60s bucket seats. Like 8 pictures of both of them, tops are stained differently so it's pretty obvious they're different, description first few words "These came out of a..."

Guy emails yesterday and asks if it's one seat or a pair.


I told him to have a nice day.

 

Ohhhhh, now we're talkin' about a COMPLETELY different world... I eBay a shit-ton myself under the same ID. Some of the questions I get about items are just fantastic. It's kind of like role-reversal when you think about it. Now, I'm the kid with all the parts behind the counter, except I know all about my parts and the customer comes in and doesn't know SHIT about his car. I have had some real gems via "Evil Bay". THIS could be an entirely new thread all unto itself...

 

I know what you're saying but I think you've got to cut the kid a little slack on that one. That would be the same as somebody walking in when we were kids and asking for a part for a 1925 Velie. Would you have known what it was?

 

Me working at the gas station as a young fella, a customer of island decent asks me for a 'turntight'. After 5 minutes getting nowhere with this other than a strange hand gesture I walk them to their car, open the hood and ask to point to the turntight. There it is, there.... it was the radiator cap.... 'TURN TIGHT'.

True story!

http://www.thepartsplaceinc.com/images/productphotos/CS1650T.JPG

 

Why would you take the time to do something like that? Go mow your fucking lawn or something.