Favorite one liners as told by gearheads

A buddy and I were bantering back and forth last night some quotes that have stuck with the car crowd through the years and laughing our asses off and finding divinity in others.

Some examples:

"We built our cars to win trophies and get chicks"-Larry Watson


"Customs are for getting girls. Hot rods are for getting rid of them."-Robert Williams

And seemingly my new favorite for being hilarious and devine...

"A true hotrodder wouldn't be content untill he had created a car so violent, so hairy, so totally sick that the very act of dropping the hammer would result in instant death. Anything less results in the need to go faster." - Tony DeFeo

What other quotes to escape our automotive/racing legends and forefathers have survived the times?

Classic and contemporary welcome, let's see what's been said!

 

mock fighting words -

"I'll drop you like a bad transmission!" - unknown

 

Actually from the rock-crawling world, but I LOVE it:

"Put on your big-girl panties and follow me..."

 

Another one from an unknown source. I don't think it's a quote though. Cracks me up all the same.


"The clutch is on the left. Gas on the right."
"What's this one in the middle?"
"It's for pussies."

 

"Stand on it until you see God and SHIFT" . unknown from my road racing days
"Bright as a brick" Me describing some of the people I've dealt with over the years
"Like a Duck in a desert" Me again

 

"Busier than a one-armed monkey with two dicks."

Smokey Yunick, "a smart man never learned nothin with his mouth open."

"His eyes were the size of two piss holes in the snow"

"That's about as useless as tits on a bull"

 

Shit'll buff out.

 

I saw elvis at 1000 feet. John Force

i feel like a one legged man in an ass kickin contest.. unknown

 

If it has tits or tires your going to have trouble with it.
Real hotrods don't have valve covers
Keep the rubber on the road and your ass in the seat
who needs a speedometer--go fast and stop in all you need to know
I listen to the motor not a radio
It don't have to be pretty to be fast

 

If it doesn't go, chrome it.

 

"Nice trophy, who built your car?"
or the altered version:
"Nice trophy, how much did it cost you?"

 

Get in, sit down, shut up and hold on.

From one of the "Cannonball" movies after the Italian driver rips off the rearview mirror - "What'sa behind me isa not importante"

 

He wouldn't find his own ass with a stick and a mirror..........Jack Reacher

 

Keep it between the lines and avoid the onetimes.
ASS,GRASS OR CASH
NOBODY RIDES FOR FREE

 

If it was in your eye you'd see it, if it was in your ear you'd hear it, if it was up your nose you'd smell it. I could go on--but I'll stop.

 

Fonzie to Richie concerning which position the mirrors on his cycle looked best. Richie says that in one position you can't see behind the bike. Fonzie says "It don't matter where I've been, it's how cool I look on the way".

 

Smokey Yunick: It ain't what the rules say you can't do, it's what the rules don't say that you can't do.

 

Wow, another one of these threads ! There is more than a few of these "sayings" threads on here all ready.

$100.00 50/50 CHALLENGE
lets make this interesting.
$ 50 to Ryan and the HAMB for putting up with this "AGAIN"
$ 50 to the winner that Ryan pics when he feels this has gone far enough.

SUBJECT TO RYAN'S APPROVAL

 

Shove-ro-lay
Shove-ro-let
Shove it home and let it set

Why does Ford paint their engines blue?
So they don't scare the fish.

...I don't have one for Mopar

 

Ford has some really tired and wore out ones.

FORD

Firing Order Really Different

 

"that ill go over like a fart in church"

 

My absolute favorite is in my signature.

Get in sit down and hang on. Unknown origin

Speed costs money, how fast do you want to go? Numerous shop owners

Build it yourself, know what ya got. Ed Roth (there is a story that goes with that.)

 

That went over like a turd in the punch bowl

 

i say: kick her in the guts

my Dads fav thing to say when something breaks: The force was greater then the resistance

 

My Dad used to say

That's slicker than greased owl shit on a doorknob

 

The brakes don't work when the wheels are on top.

Rev it some more, it'll clear up.

 

From an old sprint car driver/owner, " That's slicker than a honeymoon dick".

 

Old trucker's critique of another trucker:

"He's shifting with a box full of neutrals..."

 

How about from "Stroker Ace" at the very beginning.

"You boys better hol on cause I'm gonna hav to stand on it"

 

Jesus was a Ford man, he walked everywhere.