Folks Of Interest When the experts chime in.

I have a guy here that piloted the space shuttle up to the space station to help repair it back in the day and then did a free dive from the space station, timing it just right, diving into the ocean to help raise a sunken sub. All in one weekend. One bad mofo right there!

 

I know of a guy who said he had a guy there that piloted the space shuttle up to the space station to help repair it back in the day and then did a free dive from the space station, timing it just right, diving into the ocean to help raise a sunken sub. All in one weekend. One bad mofo right there!

 

Many, many years ago when batteries had wood cases, they could leak and cause problems to a cement floor.
Since plastic battery cases have been out they do not leak energy.
For those that still think a battery will go dead on a concrete floor, try to remember that plastic is an insulator. Electricity has a hard time going through plastic.

 

My firend's nephew lives next door the brother-in-law of the lady who lives on the same block as the lady's sister who knows the guy who died in Vietnam and who's aunt sold his 63 427 Vette in the paper for $500 and advertised it as a 63 Chevy. I know it's true too, cuz I worked with that lady's niece who used to date the deceadent's cousin and they all stayed good friends so...

When I had a 70 Cuda everyone told me that it was the exact same car in Vanishing Point. After number 4 I quit saying that that was a Challenger.

I was told by a "top engineer" for Ford (self-proclaimed) that I don't deserve to own a 69 Boss 302 because I put 70 1/4 panels on it. He's lucky he still has his front teeth, and not for his lack of info/history, but his fuckin smug self-righteous demeanor.

"Some fuckin Packard expert you are! You expect us to believe they test drove every Packard 12 around the track for 250 miles? Bullshit! Like their gonna test drive 10,000 cars a year!"


"...you should put trans fluid in your paint so it gets more gloss..."

"Yeah you always have to wet the floor, even in a down draft booth."

"I knew this guy who died painting a car in his garage. The static electricity from the air in the hose filled his compressor with fumes and it blew up."

I'm sure we could write a HAMB edition of 200 pages, filled with genuinely stupid comments. It might be as angering as it is entertaining, maybe something like those "Far Side" books?

 

I did it twice before I got to the part where you asked if I did it...

 

Guilty as charged!!! hahaha!!! Funny shit right there!!!!

 

You should all try working in the medical field, flew into a vehicle rollover on a single patient retrieval on (I think*) K95(Aussy Military Exercises). Apparently I was doing everything wrong in treating this one patient, so a bystander kept telling me. Took us a while to stabilise and extract the patient but funnily enough as we were taking the litter back to the helicopter he was sound asleep under a tree on the side of the road.
I would dearly like to shake the hand of whoever placed him there, strangely? No one knew!
Sadly though it happens everywhere, every bum off the street seems to know your job better than you 'caus they read it in a magazine!'

Doc.
(*K95 was a big Military exercise- K=Kangaroo (No thought in the name huh?) and 95=1995 year of.)

Rhino Bob.....................F#$@%! I did it a couple of times until it dawned on me what I was doing!!

 

had a guy once tell me he replaced the cam on a sbc in a '70 monte carlo without removing the radiator.

 

Don't laugh (or doubt). It just might be possible in that car. Hell, the shroud's almost 2 feet front to back (exagerating to make my point). That's how far the motor is from the radiator. Look at the pic, and imagine the shroud, and the "long" style water pump off......

 

I had a big block I had replaced cam and lifters,, I could not start engine no matter how many times,,checked everything!,,,so this guy comes over,,says " you remember to put woodruff key on camshaft" As he picks it up off my workbench,,,oh never mind...

 

An older co-worker told the story of the neighborhood drunk one day. Always stopping while stumbling by and being an "expert" for a short time until continuing on his way. One day they were making a lot of noise tuning a bb Chevy in a flatbottom boat and noticed they had an audience. As soon as they shut off the engine, drunk guy walked up to the boat, said "I love it", and kissed it right on the header.

It was the last time they saw him and they couldn't remove the lip prints no matter what they tried.

 

ohh crap, we need to get a measurement or i have to call rubber cam shaft boy up and apologise

 

Good stories. I get a few of these guys in my shop too, but I put up with them as much as I can, their money is as good as anybody's.

 

I'll share a secret that you should have received when you first signed on to the HAMB (along with the password and secret handshake): Reading every thread posted on the HAMB forum is not mandatory !!

Lighten up, Francis....

 

Had an expert where I worked that knew everything and I had a lot of fun messing with him. He had a '65 Mustang that was so fast that even he couldn't drive it! Turns out it was a 289, three speed, open rearend car. He said the guy he bought it from was scared to drive it because it "wheelied" too much.... He rebuilt the engine ( he used to built NASCAR Nationwide series engines) I asked him specs on the cam and he just stood there mouth beathing. When he went to fire the engine it wouldn't turn over. He took the engine to an engine shop that happened to be owned by our shops machinists brother. We found out the "expert" Nascar engine builder has just stuck new parts in an old block, it had never been to the machine shop, the crank wouldn't spin at all. He also has a garden tractor that he couldn't mow the lawn with cause it "wheelied" all the way down his driveway. He was also an expert heavy truck mechanic and drove "big rigs" on the weekend. I said something to him about having his "air' liscense and he went blank, just nodded a little. The next day he had to make sure to tell me all about air brake certification....I always wondered who filled him in.

 

"My Buddy said that my 283 would scream if I put on that Holley 750 double pumper."

 

Damn it! I can't stop doing it! Crap!

 

yep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Gullable goes well with stupid. I'll shorten this the best I can. This poser, about 6yrs ago, wants to be Joe-Bad-Snowmobiler because he heard me talking with someone else about a triple. He has a Rotax 583 with VForce reeds and it's piped and beats triples all the time. A 583 Rotax is a rotary valved 2 stroke but I let it slide. A few weeks later I tell him the following story that I read in a sled mag's enviroment section:

A hiker lost in the west cost mountains was found by the Forest Service. He'd been missing for nearly 3 weeks, but when they found him he had killed and dressed an endagered North American Condor for food, and was eating it, so he was arrested along with his recue.

"Oh yeah, I heard about that guy!"

Anyways, he finally had his day in court after nearly a year had passed.

"Yeah that's bullshit! He shoulda never had to go!"

Well I guess the judge found in favor of the guy saying that as sad as it is losing an endagered animal, the survival of our own kind should be 1st and foremost.

"Fuckin eh, that's right. I know if was me what I'd do, but that guy was gettin screwed. I read all about this."

Right, so the reporter from the sled mag got to interview the guy when he left the court. He had some pretty good survival skills and all but the question I liked was when he was asked how it tasted.

"What did he say? Lemme guess, taste's like chicken! Hahaa.."

No, he said 'Well, it tastes a lot like a Bald Eagle.' And I started to walk off, turning back to see the look on his face. It was like his car was getting reposessed.

Obviously it was a contrived story, a joke really, but very telling of this dipshit's personna.

I got him again a month later with a video game story. I detailed a version of PAC MAN called "BLACK MAN" and made it sound real. He took the bait so hard and even said his dad's best friend collects old arcade games and has that one in his basement. "Hey man, go over there and get me a picture. My wife doesn't believe me that they ever made that game. Hook me up with a pic." 'Oh I will! We're going over there this weekend.'

Sometimes even I don't like me...

 

I know that guy.
Used to fix a lot of his crap.

35 years later, meet him at a car show,
he tells me he has "a chassis shop, in his back yard".

But he had to send his car out to have ladder bars installed.



R-I-G-H-T

 

Ha,ha, we've all met him , haven't we?

 

I had a '72 and if memory serves, I was able to do that with mine. Standing in the engine bay at that!


Sent from my iPhone using TJJ app

 

Large family, they all have the same middle name.


BULLSHIT.

 

I had a neighbor come into my garage several years ago as I was filling my 49 club coupe up with coolant.

He said, "you need to be sure and use that steel water in the radiator". I said, "what?"

He said, "you know...steel water...it's got steel in it to keep the radiator from corroding".

I said, "Buddy, I don't know what you're talking about....I've never heard of steel water."

Then I realized that he was talking about DISTILLED water. I was actually so floored by such idiocy that I didn't want to embarrass the guy. So I just let it go and didn't say a word.

 

I had an expert tell me that I couldn"t machine round bar in a 3 jaw chuck in a lathe!!!!

 

A good friend of mine owned a service shop for many years. For a short time, he "employed" one of these experts. I heard many BS stories and claims from this brain-stem, but one conversation stands out right now...

Einstein is working on a wiring job. I look over his shoulder and comment, "I hate wiring."

Einstein, "Oh? Why?"

Me, "Well, I don't really hate it, but I have trouble with some colors. That frustrates me."

Dipshit, "Me, too. Actually, I'm completely color-blind."

Me, "How the fuck do you know what color goes to what color?"

Super Genius, "I can tell by feel".

 

It's easy, if the wire fits in there then thats where it's meant to go..............right?

Doc.

 

Hi .. I know a fella who thought he brought a Hemi cheap,,,"Oh I stole this motor..the guy didnt know what he had..couldnt get the money out of my pocket quick enough"....I got a phone a few days latter .."I have to put the car into reverse to go forward"...What a dick it was a marine engine......

 

used to work in a pub...with a barmaid who'd been there..and done that . One day she was chattin to a group of guys ,one says he been in recently for a vasectomy....she pipes up and says "oh, i had one of those couple years back.."
got her good