Folks Of Interest When the experts chime in.

Apparently im the dumass.

 

At a hangout, "You can stack two head gaskets to increase compression." Seriously. I also admire the guys who say thier car will do 140MPH because that's what the speedo goes up to.

 

yea ,but he don't come around NOMORE

 

The last old vehicle I bought, last summer, was locked away in a garage in the inner city of Milwaukee for 20+ years. The family wanted it gone because of a death in the family and some other legal problems. My son and I go down on a hot Sunday morning to get it and as I'm trying to hook up the chain to pull it out of the garage the seller's drunk brother decides he knows how the chain should be hooked up. He grabs the chain, or chains as what he probably saw them, and attempts to show me how's it done. Finally, in the most polite manner I could conger up, I tell him this wasn't my first time at the rodeo and get out of the way. Finally his sister got him to walk away. He tried to offer his help a few more times but we were able to get him to go away.

 

Yup..same kind of guys who swear up and down they shoot 1 inch groups with a 22lr at 1000 yards 'all day long'

I know the type.

 

i had a PROFESSIONAL tow operator pick up a Falcon for me without my being there (no not a good thing) and the guy wrapped the j-hooks around the draglink and front crossmember to pull the car. ruined the draglink, both tierod adjusters and bent the crossmember.

well; at least he didn't put the j-hooks through the front bumper.......

 

"You living in death valley and such I dont see how you are gonna be able to drive that MJ look-alike outta that waste basin with those tall gears .... it just aint possible"

 

I flat out keep fuckheads like that out of my garage. In fact, I keep 99.99% of the people that I know out of my garage.

Bob

 

+1 on that. I've got a real low tolerance for dumbshits, so I sorta make an extra effort to stay away from 'em.

 

You guys must know the hateful old asshole I work with. He's a painter that spent months living in the office of the shop. He has so many amazing insights, and thoughts that I actually started writing them down. He's the same fella that had me help him set up this paint booth exhaust system to point directly at the neighboring day care centers play ground. Don't worry, that's all being handled.


He is full of amazing wisdom. During my time at this shop, I've done nearly all of the mechanical work, and restoration of mechanical components. I've removed, restored, and reinstalled a few suspensions, and removed a few engines. He constantly comes in while I'm eating lunch to tell me about all the cars he's done, and how much faster at all of this stuff he is than I am. I don't think he's aware that the owner told me that he will no longer let this guy work hourly, and makes him bid everything due to him being too damn slow. I'm leaving this job tomorrow, and the boss is forced to have him do all the work now. So, after being told literally hundreds of times how much faster than me he is at pulling a motor, and stripping the engine bay, today I got to see him in action. I watched him ready the motor for removal Friday, and wasn't real impressed. Today I helped him remove the hood, and then watched the following mess ensue. Everything he'd bragged about made him look like a fool. He taped a bag over the trans output, and ripped it just moments in to lifting the motor out. Then he forgot to unhook the the speedo cable, and neutral safety switch from a pretty rare car. He broke the shit out of both of them. Then he crushed the oil fill cap out of the manifold against the cherry picker arm. He swung the motor/trans combo in to the booster/master cylinder so hard he bent the firewall, and then smacked the trans tail shaft in to the fenderwell and dented it. Then he dropped the oil pan on the core support and bent the hell out of that. That's when he told me "That's why we have body hammers". He also managed to completely destroy every trans cooling line around on the way out of the engine bay. Finally he had the motor out, and clear. Then he got so fired up running around that he loosened the cherry picker cylinder so much that the motor FREE FELL from about 4 ft off the deck. It crushed the wheel dolly he was placing it on, as well as the oil pan. The tailshaft of the trans was fine, but, it chipped the really new cement pad up pretty good. Then he finally split the trans/motor, and dropped the trans about a foot to the ground. The final awesome moment was as I was walking by the door, and watched him pushing the motor across the pad on the wheel dolly. He hadn't blocked it up at all. It was just sitting on the pan. The first seam he hit caused the AMC 390 to roll off of the dolly all the way over on to the valve cover/intake. I had to help him get it righted to find that he'd dinged up the intake pretty good, and BROKE the oil filter mount/timing cover. It was one helluva a lesson in how awesome some of those older mechanics can be. All that, and it took an hour longer than my last engine pull, and I short blocked that engine too. He sure showed me, and he probably cost the boss an extra $800 in doing so.

Sorry for the long post, but, I hope a few of you get a laugh out of it.

 

^^ and he STILL works there? WTF

 

How fortunate you are to have an expert watching over your every move.
Heavy on the sarcassim.
Seriously though, I tend to stop working when even my friends that
have actually built cars are around.
I just work better alone.
I have the feeling you can't avoid this guy though.
Good luck, You should probably have a talk with Jack!
I want to see a vid of your truck moving, or at least the engine running.

 

The worst one I have is my sister's husband, talks a barrage of shit non-stop. He used to work in a stained glass shop... hint... lead fumes... He's had some powerful cars but effed them all up one way or another.

Bob

 

I've seen shops like that. I once interviewed for a front end shop job, the manager leveled with me, he needed to get rid of one guy fast, he had a huge drinking problem. I did talk to the guy when I toured the shop, stone cold loose in the head and working on cars... I passed it up.

Bob

 

I have this thing on my door called a lock, now I remember why I turn it and close the door behind me. My good friends have keys....

 

I work with a guy that is about 60, but has at least 357 years of life experience. Everything that me and my co-workers have done, he has done better, faster, firster and with twins. On most days, the smell of bovine excrement wafts through the air. I just nod my head and feign interest anymore.

 

I get all teary eyed thinking about the thrilling days of yesteryear when one could just punch some fucking douche in the neck for no other reason than "just cause"..

 

I made the mistake of buying a used above ground pool in the fall and trying to set it up in the spring with 5 of my relatives and 4 friends present. I don't remember asking any of them to help but there they were. All commenced to be "supervisors" and not "workers"... things went so poorly it was amazing, took twice as long as it should have. My brother-in-law the cival engineer brought his transit which was great except my buddy argued the whole time that he could do better with just a level. The first attempt of setting up the wall structure... whoever was putting the rings and plates together didn't seat them right which caused the pool to be about 31' in diameter rather than the 28' it was supposed to be. I was stumped until I looked at the plates and realized they hadn't landed the rings all the way in the plates.... 2 hours spent taking apart and redoing this mistake. Each step of the way we had to listen to 9 different ideas about how to do it. After it was all over I told my wife that I could have put the pool up faster by myself and she apparantly didn't see the crazyness either as she thought I was wrong.

 

the reason it will not crank the motor is spinning backwards reverse the battery cables and it will fire right up[ i stop working when he is around now]

 

A locked door and a big dog normally sorts the so called experts out.

 

I was about 13 and was up the street watching two brothers try to get their rebuilt 283 Chevy powered '61 Falcon gasser started. I had my little brother who was 10 at the time with me.

The 283 was obviously as tight as a crab's ass... it wouldn't spin over. They were putting 24 volts up to it and contemplating going with 36 volts. My brother pipes up and asks "what did you set the piston ring gaps to?". They looked at us like we had 17 heads, a good time to leave.

Bob

 

Yeah, I worked for an idiot like that at a busy mfg. company. He was smart at running the entire production but stupid otherwise. He would read all the checkout rags - Inquirer, Globe, ect. and claim everything in there was true or they couldn't print it. When a couple guys talked about fishing for tuna he would talk about back home in MN. where he did that. The best was when I was talking to the guy in the repair shop and the back door was open by the 440v power plant we had. It was a warm summer day and the Cicadas were rather loud. Ted walks in and asks if we knew what that sound was trying to show his intellect but before we could answer he told us "That's the sound of the electric running thru the wires. I've heard it for years." Really?? Ah - Ted, how come the electric only makes noise in the summer then? He walked away.

Not only do they walk among us....they vote!!!

 

And sit on our juries as well!

Bob

 

My post here may not be appreciated,,BUT..There are many guys ,like you all mention,that post daily here on the HAMB...
all proverbial Christmas Turkeys..

 

I never claim to know it all! that way know one ask me nothin!

 

Kinda sux but a longtime buddy through highschool years that decided hunting was his thing. This has basically ended out friendship as I can't stand his constant hunting stories and he can't stand my always talking about hot rods. When he does end up in my garage I don't work on anything becasue I can't stand his stupid questions and remarks. The last thing he told me I should do... "you should weld something on the outside of your door to carry an ax.... that would be cool". "You should paint it .... bla bla bla" You should.... bla bla bla"

 

A mechanic at the local Monroe shop that is a friend of a family member asked if he could borrow the shop to work on his El Camino a couple of Sundays ago. He said he was having trouble with a couple cylinders cutting out. I was out there so i lended a hand. I noticed he had brand new plug wires and i just off handidly asked if he put them back on in the right order and he was a little snotty with the answer of "of course." Turns out he had them in the right order but had run the passenger side rear two cylinders under valve cover. It eventually got hot enough to melt through and short out. His response was "no wonder it was a bitch to get that seal to fit".

 

I used to work with this guys brother. At the end if the day you just have to wonder what kind if dirt they have on the boss. Must be pics of some really nasty naked barnyard follies.

 

Sounds like my 15 yr old nephew.
He does it just to fuck with me and bust my balls. The goffier it is the funnier it is to him.
For the longest time I was unaware that he would do this just to get a reaction and for the last year or so he's unaware that I'm on to him. I swear the kid stays up half the night thinking of that crap.

 

Hey that stands to reason that if you can shoot 1" groups @ ten yards that the bullets will all fall the same and land in 1" groups @ 1000 yards.

I got one that everyone is going to love and this is an exact quote, " You can't hook a V-8 up to the transmission out of a 6 cylinder Camaro cause that transmission is geared into that thing."