Stoopid hot rod phrases

I hear some really stoopid stuff over and over from people who should know better. Besides "ran when parked" Old school, or for the really cool ,Old skool has really worn out it's welcome , I'll add "rat rod" as one more example. I'm sure I have missed more overused and abused phrases and stoopid terminology . Any one agree , or disagree?

 

I wrote this to post on the www.sweptline.com Dodge truck board a while backl...enjoy

You see these ridiculous ads on Craigslist, egay, and various forums that have these key phrases, misspellings, and sometimes out-and-out lies about the gem of a vehicle that they want to push off on some poor, unsuspecting bastard. I know you have seen these around! Feel free to add on your favorites! If you think I'm picking on your ad, go ahead and change it!!! :lol:

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"Easy Restoration!" --- Why the hell didn't YOU do it, then?

"No time to do, I need to sell today!" --- I'm sick of looking at the POS I bought from someone, because it was supposed to be an "easy restoration", and it's gotta go! Or, there is no way in hell I'll ever get legal paperwork on this pile o'crap, and I need to find a buyer!

"Wife says "sell it!"" --- She is 6'3" tall and can knock my head off my shoulders, and I really like my head. Everything I do must have her blessing, and I dared bring home this vehicle without the woman knowing. Please kill me now. She keeps my balls in the freezer.

"Interesting history on this car!" --- Was featured on an episode of "America's Wildest Police Chases"; or it was owned by a serial killer, or it was used as a crash double in a "B"-movie.

"Little old lady driven!" --- It was either driven no more than 30 mph (because that's all the faster it'll go!), or it has a buttload of dents and dings along both sides from hitting the garage!

"Signed by [insert famous car guy name here] on the decklid/glovebox/header!" --- So what? Big deal! Someone famous signed your car, or that hot centerfold plopped her butt on your fender for a picture. I'm not impressed!

"One of x built!" --- OK, so it was the only 225 2-bbl truck painted hot pink and grey, with tan tooled interior, AM/FM/CB radio & turbo 8-track, one-off factory prototype chrome wheels, and RARE dealer-installed electric butt massager. Your point?

"For Sale THIS WEEKEND ONLY for $2,000, or else the price goes up to $4,000" --- Hey, Stupid, if that POS easy restoration that your old lady says "needs to go" isn't selling for $2K, why the hell do you think someone will buy it for $4K???

MUST SALE TODAY! --- The seller is trying to skip town for numerous warrants, non-payment of child support, or he must have seen himself on tonight's "America's Most Wanted" and needs the cash NOW to get outta town!...

Also indicative of the morons that "sale" their car, or put it up "for sell"...I guess this explains the dearth of "For Sell" signs at WallyWorld!

This truck has nice "crome bumbers".

One stupid phrase I've seen a lot is "Gently Used". Whataloadacrap! Used is used.

Oh, and let's not forget the 4x4 truck with the 6,000 pound "wench" up front, or the "2x4" two wheel drive pickup "for sell".

I've always liked the phrases "3/4 cam", "full-race cam" and "RV cam"...because they're utterly meaningless.

 

in da UP

 

O.G. is to me, the most ridiculous phrase in hot rodding. Everytime I see it or hear it I have flashbacks to Rick James, Flava Flav, 2 Live Crew and Ice T.

OG stands for "original gangsta"
yo man muda fuka snoop dawgggg be dem best og eva

 

x2 on the RV cam.

 

Chebby

 

MORE!!!

Of course "It ran when I parked it there!" (in 1950)

"I'm planning on restoring i!" (the guy is 105)

"Why do you want to buy that?" (let me worry about that)

"It's not for sale,it's not safe to drive" (grrr)

"It was my husbands, he said it was very rare" (uh oh)

"There's a running one in the barn" (oh, really?...grin!)

"It's barn fresh!" (where's the bird poo and straw then?)

"I'm the second owner!" (? this year or did YOU beat it that bad?)

"I'm thinking of giving it to my son!" (NOOO!! He'll kill it!!!!)

"I'm going to trade it in on a new truck!" (I'll follow you there)

"It was my fathers, and he bought it new in Roosterfart, Arkansas in 1940, and drove the truck for the railroad inspecting nails on telephone poles, then drove it to Canada and then to Florida collecting gumballs for the local museum blablablablah" (sigh, it's a friggin' hubcap....how much???....wait a second...this is for a 1965....he bought it in 1940????)

An ad in Kentucky recently read "1985 Camaro for sell. Runs good. Mortgage, electricity bill and mistress all overdue, need $$$ now, call..."

 

Awesome, but don't forget:

"Rust in the usual places" What are the usual places, the inside and outside?

 

Knew two guys that wanted to be mechanics. Went to some school and got ase certified. I had to ask them what is the difference between a short block and a long block. They said in a very serious face "short blocks are real short and long blocks are really long"! I thought OK.......................

 

x2!

 

"You know what I'd do...."

 

kewl

 

"Easy fix" or as Patrick66 said, "Easy Restoration". Yeah, right.

 

Have you ever heard "If it was mine I would" . .....but it aint yours dumbass.

 

using "stoopid" was a pun, right?

 

"I've always liked the phrases "3/4 cam", "full-race cam" and "RV cam"...because they're utterly meaningless."

Not to us in the cam business.

 

X2!!
It ususally means everywhere, they just don't want to admit it.

Also: "havent tried starting it but it cranks fine"
That means that they have, how else would they know it cranks. It didnt start.

 

Seriously??? I guess that's why every camshaft I've bought over the years made absolutely no mention of this important fact on the box, or the cam spec sheet, then, right???

 

Rust free: Means you pay for the car and they give you all the rust the car can hold for free.

I can still show you some of the "gonna fix it up someday" cars that my dad tried to buy when I was maybe 5 years old. I'm 30 now and they still sit in the same washout, rusting away.

Tried to buy a truck from a guy a couple years back in Grand Junction. Stopped and talked to him 3-4 times at least, each time saying prolly next month or so he'd be ready. The truck had a 8 inch tree growing up between the frame and the motor. Oh yeah, it was sitting in his driveway with that sort of growth!! I finally gave up.

 

Was talking to an old guy a few months ago, he's maybe 65, and was looking at a OT 70 Monte Carlo with a 454 in it. He said, "it's so fast, if ya don't use the brakes, it'll put you in jail".....

 

YEAH HAY THERE is worn all out.

 

you shoulda done it this way

 

"If only it were closer"

 

"Not to us in the cam business."

DID I SAY ANYTHING ABOUT YOU OR ANY CUSTOMER??
READ THE STATEMENT!!!!

 

I think this one may just be a west coast saying, i live in oregon and i have been hearing this since i was a kid, SELLER, do you know what this cars worth down south, you could get three times what i am asking for it, then why don't you sell it down there.

 

here's a few classics:
"she runs Jam-up"..... jammed up against what? is that why the front bumper looks like a pretzel?
"not much rust".... well of course not! when the hulk FINALLY jerked free of the dry riverbed you found it in, the shock knocked every flake of rust off it!
"i waz gunner restore that"..... (which is why i call some guys Gunner)
"these are big money on the auctions.." ....as i get back in the car and drive away.
"money talks and bullshit walks"..... which is probably why the POS is up on blocks in the backyard with the bottom end in the trunk and county inspector knocking on the front door!

 

It can't be a hot rod if it doesn't have 3 pedals.

And of course, the sophmoric, and never ending, string of Ford vs Chevy vs Mopar jokes.

Gary

 

I sold my grandmas car,I advertised it as ''driven by alittle old lady''.It really was ''drivin by a little old lady"Am I stooopid?

 

Daily driver the chainer who came up with that should be hanged.

Steelies -nothing gayer then that.They are stock rims.

 

"The motor's done to the nuts, and I mean DONE to the NUTS", usually used when referring to their buddy's/cousin's/brother's car, and almost always said twice. I guess it means "I have no clue what's done to it, but it sounds fast" Also "Its a 350 small block, full race". Full race? What kind of race? It runs on regular unleaded, doesn't it? Do you race it?