When I was in NC in the USAF, we had a captain who was a practical joker - bigtime. Once he broke into my boss's office and disassembled the desk and then reassembled it - 110 feet up into the air onto the drying platform of the parachute tower. Everything was as my boss had left it, even down to coffee in the coffee cup. The captain then left a poloroid in the floor with the words "GO UP" on it. Needless to say... my boss got even. This same captain was doing his finish flight (he was an aircraft loadmaster), and it was a 3 ship run doing heavy drops. Well, for one of the training bundles, about 10 of us grabbed this captain's cherry... and I mean cherry VW bug and picked it up, set it on an airdrop platform, then rigged it with parachutes and the whole 9 yards. We then loaded it onto the aircraft loader and proceeded to the C130 with it. Needless to say, the captain didn't think it was too funny. I can't remember for sure, but I think that one even made the base newspaper. Dated a girl once who stood me up 'cause she had to go do something with her mom." Bull... she went to go play bingo! So, I snuck up into the parking lot where her little S10 was sitting and jacked up the rear, and then placed wooden blocks under the axle - just enough to keep the wheels high enough off the ground to prevent traction, but not high enough to stop it from billowing smoke. She went out to leave, and then guess who she calls when it won't go anywhere? I told her to call a wrecker, that I was out on a date! One other thing I did while I was stationed in Alaska. I had a guy I worked with who refused to move his car while we were plowing the front parking lot at our squadron. Finally, we told him not to worry about it, we plowed around it. What we wound up doing was start emptying our coffee cups onto his windshield. The coffee was cold, and started to form a slush almost immediately, as it was 25 below that night! Well, as soon as the slush would form, we'd stick the cups bottom first into the slush so they'd freeze to his windshield. When it was all said and done, we'd put almost an inch of brown colored ice on his windshield. When it came time to go home, our cars were all cleared off (we'd left them run while we plowed the lot) and he was stuck there for something like an hour after work trying to clear his windshield. Needless to say, he never had a problem moving his car!
We'd wait until someone was welding on a piece of pipe. Mysteriously he'd get a phone call, put down the welder and go to the phone. We'd put a string of firecrackers into the pipe right where he was welding. He'd come back, start up, and run like hell the minute they started popping off. Take the positive wire off someone's horn, and ground the horn with another wire. Run a wire from the positve side of the horn to a turn signal connection. Every time they use the blinkers the horn will sound with it. Best one I ever did was to a young guy who liked to prank people all the time. He was restoring a 71 Monte Carlo and had the dash torn apart. He was in school during the week so I had time to pull it off. I stopped at the chinese dollar store and bought a kids plastic harmonica. I then slipped off one of his defroster hoses, cut the harmonica down to snugly fit inside of it, shoved it down as far as it would go with a pair of long needle nose pliers, and put the hose back on. He got everything back together, tried it out, and got the wierdest sounds from his defrosters. Funny part was, every time he tried it he got different notes depending on if the switch was set to high, medium or low. It took him a long time to find it. We had a guy one time who was constantly stealing stuff. Contact tips, collets, gas lenses, 'o' ring kits for the torches, torch handles, etc. Anything small that would fit into a pocket. Anyway, he finally got caught, cops got called, guy went to jail. The owner told him he could come back and pick up his tools when he bailed out. The following monday the jerk came back to get his stuff. He tried to open the tool box to check his tools and found it welded shut. We lent him a grinder to cut his box open, and when he got it sliced up, it still wouldn't open. So we took the grinder back and lent him a 3' sleever bar. He pries the box open, pushes the thing off his truck onto the ground, throws the sleever bar into the shop and drives off cursing at the top of his lungs. The owner welded his box shut, then drilled 1/4" holes into the back of it and sprayed about 10 big cans of expanding foam into it. Paybacks are a bitch sometimes.
Many years ago, knew a guy that bought a 55 Ford,nice car, drove about 20 miles a day to his work.(one way).Talked about great gas mileage 'till we were sick of it. Started adding one or two gallons of gas to his tank, not every night, maybe 2- 3 times a week.Went all winter,in the spring we got busy and forgot to add gas. Saw him one Sat. morning,55 Ford all over the yard in pieces, asked "whats up?" Said it needed major rebuild 'cause mileage had sudenly went to hell.
I left a voicemail on the football coach's cell that I had been offered a job from the crosstown rivals. He still hasn't called me???
We had this production scehuder at work who was the naive sort just ripe for practical jokes. We got hold of his box of business cards and wrote "Gay and proud of it" on the back of every 10th one or so. He never did find out.
I've worked with some fun people over the years. "Observed" some funny shit... Went too far some times. 1/8" plastic air-hose tube filled with water with a limit switch attached to the tool box lid. Open the lid and get a blast of air and water. fill the VP's office full of tools lock the door and escape through the ceiling tiles. Cast silicone bic pen replicas and place them on peoples desks. Watch them pick em up and they bend over like a noodle. Fake pair of womans legs, nylons and high heals in the womans bathroom stall with one of those remote electronic fart noise makers in the stall. Watch the expressions on the ladies faces when they exit. "plant" for sale adds in the local paper with super cheap prices twice for items co-workers were looking for, note the add in the paper to them during break, call after 5pm. Send them on a hunt in the country with turn by turn directions for hours on end to try and find a boat trailer, cushman scooters etc. Listen to there stories the next day on how they got lost, went in circles, stopped at Farmers houses looking for so an so's place. Coworker had two snowmobiles for sale. Another co-worker in disguise called, talked him into loading them on a trailer and pull them 20 miles to show them.....Hmmmm Nobody showed. Listen to him tell the story the next day. Designer designed an un-machinable part, sent it the machine shop. Next day the machinist delivered it...Joke was on the designer. Greased phones, safety glasses, glued phones, glued coins on the floor, pin-holes in the pop-cans etc. etc. Had a roommate in college that was a PITA. Wired a car door buzzer into the cold air return in his bedroom wired to a 12V inverter. Buzzed it randomly for months, especially when he and his GF were getting it on. Hearing him yell WTF every time it went off was priceless.
Here in arkansas we have these 6 foot long black snakes. they arnt poisinous but are very agressive. I like to catch them and put them in an old purse put the purse on a parking lot where the teenagers hang out on weekends and park and watch to see the show. usually someone exits a car grabs the purse they zoom off for about 15 feet and the doors fly open . Havent done it in years though. OldWolf
An avid fisherman who was retiring in six months from the refinery quality control lab where I worked would daily blend two quarts of outboard oil, place them in a shaker to mix them and sneak them out in his lunchbox. What he never realized before retiring was that every day someone would remove his two cans of 2 stroke lube and replace them with identical cans of water. Poor guy retired with a garage full of canned water.
My buddy's dad supplied the Big 3, but his mom bought a new Toyota POS. I was mercilessly bitchin at him about letting her buy "that f***in' rice-burner", but I had not sen the car yet. When I was invited over for dinner, his mom showed me her new car & I looked it over politely. When she left the garage, I dumped a big bag of Uncle Ben's under the gas tank. I then ran into the house yelling for his dad & excitedly told him that the new car was leaking fuel all over the garage floor!!! I had never seen his old man run so fast, or heard him swear so much when he saw the pile of rice under the car. It WAS the last "rice burner" in his garage, though.
A friend of mine's house burned down years ago on April fools day...while he was in JAIL a few blocks away! He thought it was just a cruel prank until the flames were visible from his cell window. So, not a prank, and not funny at the time, but it did happen on April fools day and it was pretty funny later on to hear him tell the story.
A buddy of mine had an old nextel phone. Well I knew he could get text messages but it never said who it was from nor the number it came from. So one day I was bored and sent him a text acting like he was my dad and I was his daughter, thanking him for coming over for dinner and meeting my new boyfriend. I kept texting him random stuff like this for about a month, like hey thanks for helping us move, and random stuff. I told him how happy I was he was able to finally text and stuff. Then I told him happy father's day and so forth, finally during the last week I told him I was pregnant but when I went to the doctor I found out I had cancer. The final message was that I lost the baby and my new boyfriend left me. The best part was he never knew it was me, and I would sit next to him and text him while working in the garage sometimes. His phone was so old it was great. Finally his wife figured it out and busted me out when we were all out on his boat drinking, he threatened to leave me in the middle of the river. He used to complain about getting the texts all the time saying he wished he could figure out who it was and let them know they had the wrong number. Probably wrong in many ways, but too funny.
I am a notorious practical joker---people really hate me around April1st. 1. I had an asshole next-door neighbor once--so one day,we all got "you may have won" mailers --you know the ones--and I knew my neighbor wanted a ski boat.So I call the give-away place and have them send me all kinds of info.I get the info--and cut -and-paste a letter telling my neighbor he's won a boat! Even go so far as to get a friend to call him and confirm the win! So he takes his truck--and family--from Ventura Co, to San Diego--to pick up his "win". I talk to him the next day--he says those bastards never heard of him! 2. A buddy at work bought a new Harley--had it about a week--was riding it and ran out of gas--had it on "reserve"and didn't know it,and had to push it to the gas station. So I call Harley and ask for info on the H.O.G.--Harley Owners Group--and they send me tons of stuff.Again I cut -and -paste a letter that he's won a prize from them.And I send a "prize " to the local Harley shop in his name.He smells a rat--and calls Harley shop--"yep,we got a prize from H.O.G. for you." Harley shop calls the newspaper--and they all get together for a photo-op. All handshakes and shit--they open the "prize"--it's a half a penny taped to a card that says"here's some gas money!"All those guys at the shop laughed for hours about that--and my friend came lookin for me!
The place i worked for 15 years got this new forman. He was ok, but he was coming up with all these new work rules. I knew it was out of control when he limited the time one could spend in the restroom. So i got some old shorts and shoes, wired them to stand up with a coat hanger and put it in the stall. (The stalls are the ones you can see in about a foot up from the floor ) put a soda next to the shoe for added affect. One of the other employees told the forman "someone has been in that stall for an hour". Here he came ready to bust the rule breaker in the stall .We watched him and two other supervisors go in . They came out laughing. He cooled down on the rules. Also, tape a empty box of dohnuts the roof of your car. The way people act is so funny. It will make your day.
now that is some funny shit right there !!! we have those black snakes here in indiana too...and i've seen them up to 6 feet long. you're giving me ideas about the purse and snake. it would be hilarious to put one in our front parking lot here at work. you know a truck driver woudl pick that purse up and not tell anyone.
Simple but effective....grate a block of Limburger cheese into the backside of the radiator on your buddies ride when it's just cool enough outside for him to have to kick on the heater.
when i was a kid, i made a fake leg (one leg of a pair of jeans, with a sock and old tennis shoe sewen on the end, stuffed with cotton and newspapers. ) open the drivers door, and slam this fake leg in it towards the front, and drive around. when someone give you a funny look at a stoplight, casually open the door, and pull the leg in..wave and drive off. i did this at the dragstrip while doing a burnout in the bleach box....they didn't think it was too funny...but the people in the bleachers did. the fact that i was driving a front wheel drive chevy citation...doing a burnout with the parking brake set was pretty funny in itself. i bracket raced that car 2 seasons and i won all the time. ran 18.25 consistently with the a/c on (it had a v-6 in it)
Not to worry, my computer been around a while... Pranks? get George Hayduke's "Getting Even" books... you piss yourself reading them.
If you work somewhere where people are always walking by, this is a must-do. Take a quarter and braze a 3/8 lag bolt to it, the 3 inch ones work well. Pound it into the asphalt in front of your shop. Everyone will try to pick it up. Eventually someone will pry it out of the ground, but it is still funny.
We always have black shoe polish around the shop, but grease will work just fine.Slap some on the shop phone,(the ear side) , make sure you let everyone know not to answer the phone , except the "victim", than call up the shop,its a riot man.
another good one is the fishing line tied to an old wallet trick. wait for someone to bend over and pick it up, then pull the string. when i was in high school i worked at a gas station and i was into r/c trucks for awhile back then and we did this all the time. we'd get an empty box that cartons of cigarettes came in because they all had the name of the cigs on the sides of the boxes. we'd cut the bottom out of the box, and set it over the r/c truck. (leaving the top of the box there) then, we'd set it out in the parking lot. as soon as someone would walk up to it, we'd make the r/c truck take off. all they saw was a box moving away from them on the ground. it got real funny when someone tried to pick up the box, thinking that they were getting a free case of cigarettes. they'd walk up to the box, look around, and go for the grab. once they bent down, we'd make the truck move. got lots of laughs with that one. one of the funniest gags was to put black ink on the eye pads on microscopes. i used to work in a lab, and i did this all the time to the same guy. it was hilarious to see him with black rings around his eyes. sometimes he'd walk around 1/2 the day like that before anyone told him. tried the potatoe in the exhaust before, but wouldn't you know it...the car i chose to do it on had an exhaust leak, and nothing happened. in high school my friend had a beat to hell 73 nova. we took the windshield washer nozzles and bent them up and out so they sprayed sideways. we'd drive by the downtown area, and spray people who were waiting to cross the street as we dove by. i used to work at an r.v dealership, and the boss was an a-hole. he drove an 80's astro van. one day, i decided to fix him. i took a whistle (like a gym teachers whistle), and epoxied it into his tail pipe, just back far enough so you couldn't see it. every time you'd hit the gas, you'd hear this whistle noise. it drove him nuts and he never found it.
Frozen can of shaving cream with holes poked in it. Place in victim's desk drawer or tool box. One year, as kids, we pulled the old burning bag of shit trick on a neighborhood grump. He fell for it, but immediately jumped on his scooter and chased us down. The next year, we pulled the same trick, but this time we also crapped on his scooter seat. Having grown up and having reached a level of maturity that wouldn't allow me to condone such actions..............it still makes me laugh.
Oxy-Acetylene bombs are always good. A tire "cheater" (propane size bottle with an on/off valve) filled first with baby powder then pressurized and released under the restroom door on an unsuspecting employee. They come out completely white except for racoon eyes. Empty limited slip additive bottles hidden in cars. Walk across the shop spraying a trail of brake clean which ends all over someones boots/shoes. Have someone light the other end.
One of the best, cruelest jokes I ever pulled involved a whole group of people. First a little history you have to know, we had been working out of town about 8 months prior to the joke date. The 'mark' had been sleeping with a local workers sister and had pulled numerous stunts on the local guy while we were there. When we came up with the plot, we contacted the local guy and his other sister as recruits to help us carry out the plan. The 'mark' was leaving for a ski trip for a couple of weeks. We had the locals sister call him just before he was leaving and pose as the chick he had been sleeping with. She went on to tell him that she was eight months pregnant and that the child was his. She didn't want anything from him and that she had just thought he should kow. The 'mark' insisted on proof and we had the local guys wife send information from a clinic that she worked at confirming the story and details of the testing. Well, he left for his trip and drank himself into oblivion, didn't even go skiing, he spent the whole time piss drunk worrying about what he was going to do. His trip was a complete loss, cost him thousands of dollars all said and done. AND...when he got back home, he got another call saying that the girl had gone into early labor and that the child was delivered before the due date. Even had a picture of some kid in an incubator sent to him, showing off his little 'pride and joy'. Then things got really bad when he decided that he was going to do the honorable thing and support both the child and his old fling, man he was writing post dated checks to the 'mom' and everything. We finally had to break it to him that he had been had. We all laughed for years at his expense, it took him about a year before he didn't want to kill us all. Man that was too funny....
There is always the college trick we did. "POO DOLLAR" my roomate would wipe his but with the dollar, fold it and place it on the sidewalk in front of our house. We would tie the fishing line to it and then when people walk by they were reach down for it. We would give a small tug, they would lunge for it and grab onto it like it was flying away. THen realize they have POO on their hand. We would yell POO DOLLAR and drink our beer. Damn Kids!!!!
Remember this one. Ski patrol kicks snowboarder of mountian and take his season pass. Next day boarder go,s to patrol office with a dozen doughnuts and appolagizes and admitts guilt for what he had done. the patrol accepts his appolagy and returns his expensive lift pass. 3 weeks later patrol headquarters recieves a letter and pictures of what the boarder had done with the doughnuts. Ha Ha Ha!
I did the zip ties on the drive shaft with great success and also hid whistles on the car in several places with the hope being that it would make a terrible noise at speed but you wouldn't be able to find the source when the car was parked and running. I never found any whistles that worked. I tried a bunch too. Too bad.
The Jalopy Journal
