The Perfect Valentine’s Day Gift?

I’m always trying to get another old car ‘for the wife’- All the cool little cars that could be deemed too cute for a greasy guy: Porsche 356 Speedster, MGA, Triumph TR3 and the like. One night I gave a buddy a ride home and saw a  black and white ’59 Nash Metropolitan coupe in his neighbor’s garage stall. These flying breadboxes were built in England by the Austin Motor Co. from 1954 – 1962 as Nash’s attempt to compete with VW Beetle.

“You like that thing? He only wants $800 for it, but it needs some work and the brakes are gone…”

He has me at “$800”. It looked solid and complete, newer interior, California black plates, and air in the tires. Whats not to like? Sure, the Metropolitan is sort of a sad clown car, but mine had the “bigger” 1500cc motor which someone had modified with dual SU carbs- It must have made at least 65 horsepower at that point! If that wasn’t sweet enough, 1959 was the first year the car had an actual trunk! Now this was about a week before Valentines day- Ah, perfect gift for the Mrs. Who doesn’t get points for giving his wife an old car?

After the tow home, I secretly got to work on changing the oil, flushing the radiator, bleeding the brakes, and getting a new battery. As it was nearly ready to take out for a test drive, I start imagining the look on her face when I would hand her the keys to this little dream boat. It fired up and ran really well. A lap around the block left me surprised at how well it handled the corners and the power was on par with a small motorcycle. Very cool. I ventured farther away from the house and a few miles away from home I’m zipping along at 35 mph when the brake pedal goes to the floor. No pressure, no stopping, and a red light about 50 feet ahead. Oh, crap.

I grab the diminutive e-brake lever and pull for my dear life, with little results. With seconds left to react, I had look both ways and just go for it, continually stabbing wildly at the brake pedal. Luckily there was no cross traffic, and I coasted through the intersection unharmed. The master cylinder slowly came back and I got the car to a stop long enough to allow my heart proper time get under 300 beats per minute. As I limped the Metro home down backstreets and alleyways, the brakes worked and failed intermittently. I just kept thinking, “What if my wife was driving right now?” She probably would have panicked and got into a very serious accident… Or worse.

I get the car home and really went through the brakes properly, but the reality sets in: I just couldn’t give her this car with all its issues. I’d have to install a dual-circuit master cylinder and 3 point seatbelts to even consider letting her drive it alone. Once she heard my death-defying story she was not interested in even getting behind the wheel. I think we just went out to a nice dinner that night and called it even.

Happy Valentine’s Day, baby… There’s always next year!