Only a Man Can Understand…

Robert was a banker in Cleveland, Ohio in 1964… And it was a good year for him. So much so, in fact, that he decided to buy his and hers Rivieras for both him and his wife – Lauren. Her hips hadn’t spread yet, so kids weren’t a concern. Dual Rivis just seemed to make sense given the time in their life and relationship.

One evening after work, the two made arrangements to meet at a friends house outside of Cleveland in order to celebrate a coming wedding. By happenstance, the two met in their matching Rivieras just as they turned off onto an old country road. Feeling young and spunky, Lauren put her foot into it and the race was on. One can only imagine the mess made as the day’s groceries mixed with wedding gifts in the trunk – corner after rolling corner.

Of course, Lauren was just a naive woman – no match for the braun and mental capacity of a man like Robert. He patiently toyed with her by dancing in and out of her rearview mirror full knowing that it was just a matter of time before she did something utterly womanly. And as predicted, Lauren took a right when she should have taken a left.

Robert pulled in the driveway and leaned on his sleek new Riviera. Waited. She came along soon enough and as she merrily leaped out of her car, Robert took notice of nature. He wasn’t certain, but those hips seemed to be moving nicely into position. Maybe a station wagon was on the horizon.

Jesus man… Those ad guys were geniuses in the 1960’s.