Amish Hot Rodders

A recent emergency survey of our field-sources here at The Jalopy Journal indicates a firestorm of lunacy brewing on the hot rod front… AGAIN. Failure to prepare for this madness could tax our resources incredibly – maybe even to a breaking point. During the next few months, we will almost certainly be invaded, even inundated, by a nightmare tornado of religious radicals, gibberish, and other bullshit of every type and description. I expect that we will see no relief until after Christmas or so… and even then, there will be after shocks.

I don’t know how to report this, so I’m just going to say it. The Amish are hot rodding. I’m not sure how we… or they… will come to grips with this development. It just might be too much for us all. And good god, what about those poor horses? The word going around the office is that hair die is bad shit, even fatal, to certain species of horses. How many of our four legged friends will we lose to flame and scallop jobs? But that’s beside the point, how can we in good conscience allow our new Amish brothers to hot rod with only two horse power?

Nevermind… A bunch of hoopla for nothing. My leggy secretary failed to mention that the article was printed in 1951.