Favorite one liners as told by gearheads

[yetiskustoms]

That body looks like a sac of walnuts

[o2beme]

mechanical asshole

[Turdpolisher]

"I know your car is fast....'cause you were haulin' ass when I passed ya..."

[Jitterbug]

He couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel. (hamber)

A wise old owl sat on an oak,
The more he saw the less he spoke;
The less he spoke the more he heard.
(Edward H. Richards)

[fleet-master]

...that shouldn't be a problem to a man of his (your) bore n stroke...(used regarding
many a difficult problem)..

...a blind man on a fast horse would be happy to see that!...

...can't see both sides at once!.. (used by many a bodyman doing repairs)

[Lytles Garage]

To my pitiful driving friend....You could'nt drive your finger up your ass with a road map

[mart3406]

Originally Posted by fleet-master

.
"...can't see both sides at once!..
(used by many a bodyman doing
repairs)"

Also - "Don't sweat it. You'll never
even see that when it's 10,000 ft.
up." (used by aircraft mechanics!)

And - "If some is good and more
is better..than too much should
be just enough." (a precise
formula used by fuel drag racers
for calculating exactly how much
nitro to mix with their methanol! )

And "Ah, hell..throw the label from
the can in too" (another, even more
precise formula used by fuel drag
racers when they decide that even
too much nitro is still not quite
enough!)

Mart3406

[31Vicky with a hemi]

Old boss used to say this :

This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.

There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it.

Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.

Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job.

Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it.

It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done

[31Vicky with a hemi]

I always said that " If it was worthwhile doing , SOMEBODY else really would have done it.

[sheltonk7]

two thing i dont loan out my ol lady and my truck they are to easy to throw a rod in

[Rocky Famoso]

Favorite one liner told by gearhead,
.
.

"This thread for the most part, has gotten' pretty tired..."
.
.

[sheltonk7]

you boys know what chevrolet stands for dont you cracked head every valve rattles oil leaks everytime

[Rocky Famoso]

Never heard that one...too funny!...

[Willy_P]

From my dad
Regarding an old vehicle
Its in Pretty good condition for the shape it's in

Regarding a homemade minibike I just finished when I was 16-he was not impressed
If that ain't a pigs turd shit in a hurry I'll kiss yer ass

Regarding a nut on a farm implement we could not loosen
That's tighter than the hubs of hell

My wife's response to my saying I'd like something that will go from zero to 200 in under 10 seconds
"I'll get you a new bathroom scale"

[Flowmeister]

If you haven't got anything done by noon,
don't bother starting.

My father

[RagtopBuick66]

Have we burned through all the phrases found on every cheesy bumper sticker and Chinese-made tin sign out at Spencer Gifts from coast to coast yet? Me thinks so...

[sierra rod shop]

Thats shiner than a nickle in a goats ass.

[Rocky Famoso]

Originally Posted by RagtopBuick66

Have we burned through all the phrases found on every cheesy bumper sticker and Chinese-made tin sign out at Spencer Gifts from coast to coast yet? Me thinks so...

.
.

..........."But wait,. there's more!"

[marks73turbota]

Something I made up.
Any engine can fit any car, if you drop it far enough.
Mark L

[31Vicky with a hemi]

Careful of the hillbillies.
Yes the gang banger may kill you,
But a hillbilly will keep your ass.