How I Got Married and Lost my Nuts: The Zen of Marital Hot Rodding (with Pix!)

Gather ‘round kids and I’ll tell you a little story about love, hot rods, disasters, James Dean, and how I lost my nuts and got my stick broken in the same day.


(At the 2006 Lonestar Roundup in the ’59)

Prelude

Elizabeth and I have been dating for a couple of years. We met online and some of our first dates were doing body work on my 1959 Bel Air, and I proposed to her in that very ‘59, so while she’s not on the HAMB, our relationship has all the makings of a HAMB relationship. She used to race RX7s, but I got her interested in old, slow cars.

After we’d been dating for awhile and the ’59 was on the road, she decided that she’d like to build a car of her own and give it to her dad when she was done (we later had to abandon this plan). We found a 1951 Chevy Bel Air hardtop in fairly decent shape and she cutomized it, did the motor work, interior and body work, with a little help from me and a few others, but mainly on her own. Heck, she got tired of waiting for me to get home from work one day and dropped the motor and trans in by herself! She took it from a rough car, to nearly done car in 9 months. Yeah. Except for a few minor details. Done. 9 months.

Anyway, she agreed to marry me and just about the only date we could get married was July 3rd and we decided to do it at her family’s farm in western Maryland and the HAMB Hot Rod Cinematic was on the way! It was settled! We’d drive out in the ’59. It had 1000s of road miles on it and shouldn’t give us any problems (note: this is what English majors call “foreshadowing”). She then decided that she wanted to take her ’51 and show it off to her 91 year old grandfather before selling it.

Elizabeth is a costume designer in the theater world and got a unique opportunity design for a movie being filmed in Chicago. Great news, but that meant she would be working 16-18 hour days for the entire month leading up to our wedding… which meant I had to get both cars ready for a 1,400 mile journey …and get the house ready for the family visiting after the wedding.

On with the story…

 

Chapter 1: Your Car Doesn’t Want Us To Get Married!

No sooner had we decided to take the ’51 and we finally got the dual carbs running right! We were feeling pretty good and decided to drive the car to Chris50’s Memorial Day party about 60 miles away. The car started running poorly on the way and could barely make it up hills. The car barely made it back home. It had eaten the clutch. T minus 33 days until we leave for the Cinematic. Between work and previous commitments, I didn’t have much time.


(The ’51 at Chris50’s party)


(The clutch… or what’s left of it)

I ordered parts, then noticed that the rear pinion seal was leaking on the ‘59. A few days later, I got that fixed, then started on the clutch. It was the first time I had ever changed one, so it took awhile, especially with a torque tube. I dropped the 3-speed transmission on the same part of my thumbnail 3 times, changed some seals, struggled with the stupid pilot bushing, but finally got it all back together.

The distributor was tempermental, so I swapped in a new one and all of a sudden I had NO power anywhere in the car. After several hours, I discovered that the main power wire had pulled out of the connector, but was still in the shrink tubing. Fixed that. Then the car wouldn’t start! At this point I had decided the car just didn’t want us to get married. OleMuleSkinner came over and spent several hours helping me get it going instead of going on his date, but it finally got running again and Elizabeth finally discovered what a hopped up 235 really feels like! She chirped the tires and scared OlMuleSkinner a little. At this point, I started trying to convince her to keep the car… and it was working. I tuned up the ’59 and cleaned out the carb. T minus 3 days to the Cinematic.

While on a parts store run I got a call from my Aunt. My grandfather was in the hospital in really bad shape… stroke, heart failure, blood and bladder infections.. and Alzheimers. Poor guy survived landing on the beach at Normandy on D-Day and now he’s getting destroyed by age. My family is now not sure they can make the wedding.


(Francis Fisher, center of the back row)

I still had a lot to do on both cars… get the wipers working, check the lug nuts, etc, but I just didn’t have the time. Elizabeth insisted that I was done and that we relax the night before leaving.

 

Chapter 2: What show are you going to?

With the ’51 having made one lap around the block running right and about 200 problematic miles, I was a little nervous, but we hit the road at 5am anyway. The ’51 ran great all the way to Indianapolis, but my car had trouble re-starting gas stations, so I did what any good hot rodder would do… I just left it running!

We met up with GMC Bubba, Lindross, AndysDeuce, KustomLincolnLady, RunaroundSue and a few others whose HAMB names I’ve forgotten. Super nice people and awesome travel companions. We were about 20 minutes late, but they didn’t seem to mind. They had planned a nice leisurely drive to Ohio. Of course, now the ’59 wouldn’t start at all. The Indy crew had the problem diagnosed (burnt points) and fixed (new points!) in under 10 minutes and we were on our way! At this point Elizabeth declared her undying love for the HAMB.

The weather was perfect… Mid 70’s and sunny clear skies. It was like that all weekend.

Elizabeth reached out to adjust her side mirror and it flew off. SHe looked back to see the roadsters dodging it.

Somewhere in the middle of nowhere Indiana, we stopped at a cool old gas station for a road break and photo opportunity, then we headed to a special tour of a Model T museum. While everyone was touring the museum, I jacked up the ’51 to figure out what I could do about a sudden trans leak. Much to my relief, it turned out to be a loose oil pan bolt and we were off to a little diner.






I got the word that my grandfather was responding to medication and was doing much better. My family would be able to make the wedding afterall!

We rolled into Gallipolis around 7pm. Elizabeth and I were wiped out, but managed to grab a bite to eat. We found BobK, Clark and the rest of the So-What crew finishing dinner. We explained that we we were on our way to get married, but were hitting a car show on the way. Clark asked “Really?! What car show?” Everyone turned and looked at him. “THIS show!” Sorry, man, but it was really funny.

After dinner Elizabeth sent me to meet and greet with the HAMBers in the parking lot and she went to the room to finish some upholstery details she wanted done before the Cinematic. She managed to make a friend for life with Andydeuce’s daughter, Hannah. I had a good time talking in t he parking lot, smoking a cigar and sipping some damn fine bourbon.

 

great story Joe.

 

more on it's way!

 

Great story Joe! It was a pleasure meeting you and Elizabeth and we'll have to do a congratulatory sip of bourbon the next time we see you guys. Rock n' Rods... HAMB Drags... Hunnert Car Pileup...

 

Good Stuff Man. I Thought My Wedding Was Cool. We Just Went To Vegas For A Week. I Think I Like Your Better!! JUST KIDDING. CONGRATS!

 

What a great story. thanks for sharing. ..........I am assuming you made it home ok and that the wedding went fine . Congrats to you.

 

Chapter 3: I’m bringing my S10 on 18s

We headed over to the Cinematic around 10am right behind the Indy crew. The Kanauga Drive-In was a great location. We walked around and met some more HAMBers and checked out the other cars. There was a nice selection. We took a lot of pictures of our own cars because it was the first (and possibly last) time they’d be together and clean and in the sun! Well, and it was kind of our wedding photos!

It seemed like everyone at the show knew about our wedding trip and came up and congratulated us and asked about the trip. It was like one big happy hot rod family. Elizabeth wanted a HAMB shirt and Ryan gave her one as a wedding present. Thanks! The Cinematic shirts were incredible.

The Bel Air sisters










Elizabeth and AndysDeuce’s daughter, Hannah. She was a real sweetie.

 

Me and a chopped Econo















We got tried around 2 and Elizabeth went back to the hotel and I went to NAPA for a ballast resistor to hopefully prevent more burnt up points… and some spare points. The teen behind the counter tried really hard to help me and the old guy behind the counter was doing everything he could to NOT help me and make the kid’s life harder. The kid finally got what I needed and asked about the Cinematic. He told me that he was going to bring his s10 with 18s and suicide doors to the movie that night. I’m not a fan of that stuff, but good for him for doing the work himself and making his truck his own.

I got back to the hotel, installed the ballast resistor and helped Elizabeth with some more interior stuff. She was wearing a dress and heels and told me that some creep walked up to her and tried to take an up-skirt shot of her while she was working under the dash. Not cool.

We went back to the room and cooled off and got a dinner call from the Indy crew. So we hopped into the 59 and drove about 10 feet and it died. Started it up, put it in gear… and it died. It did this all the way across the parking lot. Then I gave up and we took the 51. I figured it had to be the ballast resistor and decided to pull it out later. We had dinner at a great BBQ place and GMC Bubba confirmed my suspicions and suggested there may already be a resistor in there somewhere.

Then we headed over to the Cinematic. It was my first time at a drive-in movie. The HAMB popped my cherry. It was neat seeing an old movie on the big, big, big screen. We sat outside for awhile, then it got chilly, so we moved to the 59. Very comfy.

 

Oh, and for everyone who kept asking... yes, we drove 2 cars to the drive in, but we watched the movie together in just one!

 

Chapter 5: Shotguns and beer

We didn’t want to stay with her family for our wedding, so Elizabeth had booked us into a nice Bed & Breakfast in town. It was a beautiful mansion owned by a nice couple with a ’78 Firebird. They cleared out a space in the back where we could safely park the cars.



The next day we took my niece to a relative’s horse farm, and we took the cars to Elizabeth’s grandparents’ house.





(Elizabeth and my niece, Clare, rolling down the hill)

Elizabeth was excited for her grandfather to see the car. See, he’s a brilliant engineer, woodworker and inventor and she really admires him, so she thought he’d really appreciate her hard work, even if it wasn’t finished. He walked around the car and said things like “Why isn’t the bumper bolt all the way in?” “Why is this piece of trim missing” etc. He didn’t say one nice thing. She was crushed. She literally just drove the car over 700 miles JUST to show him the car and he shot her down. I was pissed… and torn between respecting my elders and new family, and telling him exactly what I thought. I chose to bite my tongue for Elizabeth’s sake.

Our invitations were actually CDs we put together with a picture of her car and the details on the front cover and a picture of her parents holding shotguns and pitchforks on the back. We titled it “A Shotgun Wedding”. She’s not pregnant, but we thought it was funny and her parents played along. Of course, I spent the last month having to explain to everyone that no, it wasn’t a hint and that she wasn’t pregnant. The songs on the CD were all old country songs, mostly about how much marriage sucks… Hank Penny’s “Rabbits Don’t Ever Get Married” and “White Shotguns”, Hank Williams’ “First Year Blues”, The Carter Family’s “Single Girl/Married Girl”, The Maddox Brothers and Rose’s “I Wish I Was A Single Girl Again”, and one called “Mother-In-Law Boogie” and a few positive ones, like the Polecats cover of Eddie Cochran’s “I’m Ready” and Rosemary Clooney’s “Be My Life’s Companion”. Everyone loved it… except her mom… who I think still thinks I was trying to get out of the wedding.

The wedding went great. When we were officially hitched and announced, we turned around and I said “Well, Elizabeth said that once I was in the family, I could do anything I want… so Pat (her mom) why don’t you go in the kitchen and get me a beer?” Everyone thought it was hillarious… well, except her mom! We then took some pictures of Elizabeth holding the shotgun. I don’t have those pictures yet. The caterer was late because his tailgate opened and he spilled a bunch of stuff on the highway, but thankfully, none of the food. It was just simple sandwhiches and salads, but we couldn’t make up our minds on the cake… so we got 3! One was white chocolate, one was Chocolate Chambord, and the third was Strawberry Margarita. Mmmmmmm.

Elizabeth looked lovely... as always





My brother and his family

 

Chapter 4: Is that a biscuit or a pancake?

Sunday morning came up quickly. We ran back to the Kanauga for a quick photo, then caught up with the So-What crew who were letting us tag along with them since they were heading in the same direction. We had breakfast at the local Bob Evans (instead of the FIRST Bob Evans) and had a debate with Clark and his wife about the differences between a bisquit and a pancake, then we were off.




It was a nice drive with beautiful weather, but my 59 was really struggling up the mountains. I was doing better than the big trucks, but worse than I thought a 350 should even if it was hauling a 4500 pound car. I caught back up on the down side of the hills.

We pulled off in Cumberland, MD for lunch at a bar and the exit was so steep that Elizabeth’s brakes started smoking! The bar had to call the cook from down the street to make our lunch! While we were eating, an elderly couple showed up with a beautiful restored 56 Caddy. After lunch, we split up and Elizabeth and I had an uneventful ride over to Hagerstown, MD and arrived at her family’s farm about an hour after my brother and his wife and daughter got there from Georgia. Everyone complained about how loud Elizabeth’s car was and the dog howled a lot.

 

Chapter 6: Two Cars Enter, One Car Leaves

On Independence Day, we drove to her brother’s place and it rained a little, so I made my niece squeegie my car.



Then we drove to a big picnic and got caught in a surprise thunderstorm. Elizabeth’s car started taking on water, so we had to turn around and get mine. She said her car felt a little squirrly, but we were on old, wet country roads, so we wrote it off as road conditions.

Elizabeth said “I don’t really feel married yet. I think you need to go through some sort of trial or test before you can truly feel married.” These words would haunt us as a curse for the next few days.

The next day, we took off around 10am with my brother and his family following in their Nissan. We drove for an hour, stopped for lunch, and then ended up on the Pennsylvania turnpike. We said we didn’t want to tak the Turnpike since it’s so far between exits, but we somehow managed to get on it anyway. Elizabeth pulled off to the side about 4 miles past Bedford, PA just on the other side of a hill. She said something felt broken and the car was really squirrly. We couldn’t see anything wrong and figured it might be some loose heat shielding under the car. We decided to go to the next exit and check things out more carefully. She made it about 15 yards and pulled over into and emergency pull off. It’s a good thing she did.

She backed up so I could watch the front tires. The driver’s side front tire was wobbling more than a drunk on a boat!! I took the hubcap off and 3 lug nuts fell out! With the studs!! Yep. The wheel was held on by TWO lug nuts. The rest of the studs had broken off! Then the rain started. I pulled the still hot drum off and sent her to the next town to get new studs pressed in while I stayed with the Bel Airs. Little did I know how far away the next exit was. So there we were… on the Penna Turnpike… with a broken down 51… in the mountains… in a severe thunderstorm… 40 miles from the next exit!!! Elizabeth got to Somerset and NO ONE in that town can find a wheel stud for a 51 Chevy. I couldn’t believe it. Chevy used the SAME stud until 1960.

We decided to have the car towed to her and the local shop would have the studs the next day. She sent my brother on his way since he needed to get to Wisconsin. I called AAA and they connect me to the shop in Bedford… 4 miles behind us. They have 15 of those studs in stock. They send the driver… and then it occurs to me that Elizabeth is 40 miles away… with the drum and hub. The tow truck driver won’t be able to load the car withouut the wheel!!! After going through the convuluted AAA system, I finally reach a real person at the same time the driver shows up. 1 AAA free tow gone. I hauled ass to Somerset, picked up Elizabeth and drove the 40 miles back to Bedford and we got 4 studs hammered in. The goons at the shop couldn’t get the 5th stud out and beat up the drum and hub in the process, but we figured 4 studs would get us home, so we headed back on the Turnpike to put the drum back on. By now it’s almost 6pm.

I got it installed and went to check the other front wheel. I put the lug wrench on the first nut …and it fell off… stud and all. Went to the next one and it was wobbly. Crap. I called the tow truck driver and had him come back.

SAC Towing in Bedford seems to have a lot of lazy goons working for them, but Charle Brown, their tow guy, was very careful getting the car on the truck and made sure the car didn’t get damaged. He never once complained about how low the car was either. He’s about to lose his job, so if anyone needs a driver in the Bedford area, look him up. Free AAA tow #2.






We got back to SAC and the guys at the shop decided that they were too busy to help us. I guess they needed to keep the desk from floating away. They did lend us a hammer. So, Elizabeth and I punded out the studs in the parking lot, but couldn’t get the leverage to get the new ones in. The SAC guys wouldn’t help, but made Charle do it. He was glad to help.

By now Elizabeth’s new HAMB shirt was dirty and greasy, but we figured that was the way a HAMB shirt should be.

I got the car back on the ground just as it got too dark to see. BTW, I will never take any more flak from anyone for carrying a jack, jack stands and wheel chocks! We got a room at a crappy hotel next to a vintage steak house… that closed as soon as we got to the door. 10pm. We went to Denny’s. We got back to the motel and discovered that they had a bar… with a DJ… boom boom boom boom boom. We could still hear it in our room but figured the A/C would drown it out. The A/C didn’t work, so we left the window open. AT least we could keep an ear on the cars. I think we both slept about 2 hours.

Did I mention that this was Elizabeth’s birthday and no one in her family remembered?

 

Chapter 8: You ever think about raising the rear of that thing?

My car was running even worse now. It was barely making it up the hills on the way back to the turnpike, but it was driving. On the flats and downside of the hills, and once it was at highway speed, it ran great. It seemed to stumble and misfire, especially after coming to a stop. No speedometer, no fuel gauge, half the day gone, and 700 miles to go. I like a challenge.

I pulled over in Wheeler, WV for gas. It’s a small town, but had worse traffic than Chicago in rush hour. It took me 15 minutes to make a right turn off the exit ramp, and another few minutes to make a right turn onto the street with the gas station. I was afraid to shut the car off, so I left it running. By the time I got back in it, the temp was up to 210. Of course, no one would let me make a left turn back to the highway, so I decided to make a right turn, folowed by a turnaround in another gas station. I did that, pulled back into traffic and the car died. Vapor locked. We let it cool and got hassled by the station attendent who claimed I tried to hit him even though I had to wait for him to get his fat ass out of the road and probably why the car died.

Anyway, we made it to Waupakoneta, OH and had dinner at a greasy spoon, gassed up and headed back out. I pulled out of the gas station and the 59 died. I restarted it and it ran, but even worse than before. By now, the car could barely get moving, but once it hit about 30mph, it ran fine. Below that, and it would pop and stumble if I gave it much gas. OK, it’s running and we still have 6 hours to go… and night is coming.

We decided that we had enough of toll roads in PA and would take the blacktops. All we had to do was make it through Lima, OH and we’d have open sailing on state and US highways. Like I said, the car could barely get moving and we hit every single stop light and stop sighn all the way through Lima, but we made it and we had one more stop light in Elida, OH and I could get the car back to speed… and it died. I pushed it out of the road and oculdn’t get it started. I had spark at the coil and at the points, but nothing past the points. I figured that it would be a good time to swap in those new points I bought a few days ago… but somehow they got left in Elizabeth’s car… which was back in PA! It was dark, it was a small town, all the stores were closed, and I was in front of a used car dealership… and we had no cell phone reception.

By this time Elizabeth’s mood was very dark. We decided we’d better flag down a cop and call AAA again, but I didn’t want to give up just yet. I saw a truck and trailer with “Stock Car Racing Team” written on the side, so I ran over and flagged them down and explained my situation. They looked confused by words like “points”, but while I was talking to them, another team pulled up and said they could help. Apparently there was a track in town and the races just got out.

Bruce Lenz and the Lenz Racing Team from Findlay, OH were a great help. Bruce managed the team and his sons were the pit crew and driver. The kids clearly wanted to go home, but politely waited and helped, while Bruce had the attitude of “We’re not leaving until this car is running!” They sat with us for FOUR HOURS!! We couldn’t get it started, so they recommended a shop 40 miles away that would know what to do and would be open on Saturday. They let us use their phone and we called AAA. Bruce stuck around to make sure the tow truck driver loaded the car properly. The driver bitched a lot about it being so low and asked me if I ever considered raising the rear end.

By this time, Elizabeth was getting really worried. There we were, stranded, with (what looks like) and expensive car on this guy’s truck and he’s taking us through all these back country roads to a shop recommended by strangers who know how to load it on a trailer. When we got there, the shop was in a sketchy industrial area. As we were unloading the ’59, a car pulls up. It’s Bruce. He dropped his race car and kids off at home and drove over to the shop to make sure the tow truck driver unloaded it properly. By now it was about 2am.

Free AAA tow #4… you only get 5 per year

I was up and at the shop by 8:01am. They had 4 signs… one said they opened at 8 on Saturdays, the other 3 said nothing. No one was there. I tried to call around about renting a car. No one in town had a car and the rental places in neaighboring towns weren’t answering their phones. We had 8 hours to drive 5 hours to make it to our own reception… but had no car!!! I finally found a Chevy dealership that rented me a car with limited miles.

I called the Findlay Police and explained the situation and they said “Ooh, that sounds like a nice car. We’ll send extra patrols around to keep an eye on it.” I love small towns! The Chevy dealership confirmed it was a reputable shop and in a safe neighborhood.

We made it back to Chicago in time to take showers, go to the store and pick up ice and made it to our reception 15 minutes before the first guests arrived… in a ’49 Ford!

The party was a blast and we relaxed with frozen margaritas and some fantastic desserts made by Catherine aka DumbWhore.

 

Chapter 7: The HAMB is my Giving Tree

The next morning we got up and went back to Denny’s. He car seemed to be driving ok, but I noticed the camber looked off, so we went to 3 different shops and NO ONE could check the alignment without their computer and the contraption wouldn’t fit in the wheel wells. Finally, Baker Auto Body said they could do it and they could squeeze us in.

They thought the car was too low t o get up on their alignment machine, but they’d try… but they wouldn’t let a girl drive it up onto the lift. The big gorilla tried to drive it up, but kept doing trying in 3rd. He finally got it halfway on the lift and it dawned on them that they can only do alignments with a computer!!! The manager said they could adjust the tow-in for us without the machine and that was likely the problem anyway, and they oculd fix the 5th stud. So, the big gorilla gets back in the car and can’t find the gear so he muscles the shifter back and forth until it SNAPS OFF! Vintage 3-speed shifter with custom paint.

I figured it would take these guys hours to fix everything now and we had to be back in Chicago for our wedding reception Saturday afternoon. It was nearly noon on Friday and my car wasn’t running so great and we had 700 miles to go.

We decided to abandon it, so I put in a call to Denise HRLC and asked her to put the word out on the HAMB. 14 minutes later I got a call from OldCarMike to tell me that his Aunt and Uncle live 10 miles away from where we were and that they’d let us keep their car at their place. 14 minutes!! Elizabeth exclaimed “I love the HAMB! The HAMB is my Giving Tree!!”

Free AAA tow #3

We loaded up the car and had it hauled to Mike’s uncle’s house… way up in the mountains in the middle of nowhere. Mike’s aunt and uncle were just super nice people. His uncle was a hoot, too. I couldn’t get Elizabeth’s door open and she walked over an took over. He said “Boy, you’ve been married for 2 days and she’s already telling you how to do things. You’re in a lot of trouble!” It turns out that his uncle is an old truck driver and after the tow guy left he said “I’ve been driving a truck on these highways for 60 years and I’ve never gone to a mechanic. We can fix all of this right now.” He said that when we came back for the car, he would help us fix it.


(I think the ’51 BelAir will be safe here… the ’59 already misses her older sister)

We hopped back in my car and headed out. Elizabeth was really sad, but after talking to Mike’s uncle, she was feeling pretty good.

 

Chapter 8: You ever think about raising the rear of that thing?

My car was running even worse now. It was barely making it up the hills on the way back to the turnpike, but it was driving. On the flats and downside of the hills, and once it was at highway speed, it ran great. It seemed to stumble and misfire, especially after coming to a stop. No speedometer, no fuel gauge, half the day gone, and 700 miles to go. I like a challenge.

I pulled over in Wheeler, WV for gas. It’s a small town, but had worse traffic than Chicago in rush hour. It took me 15 minutes to make a right turn off the exit ramp, and another few minutes to make a right turn onto the street with the gas station. I was afraid to shut the car off, so I left it running. By the time I got back in it, the temp was up to 210. Of course, no one would let me make a left turn back to the highway, so I decided to make a right turn, folowed by a turnaround in another gas station. I did that, pulled back into traffic and the car died. Vapor locked. We let it cool and got hassled by the station attendent who claimed I tried to hit him even though I had to wait for him to get his fat ass out of the road and probably why the car died.

Anyway, we made it to Waupakoneta, OH and had dinner at a greasy spoon, gassed up and headed back out. I pulled out of the gas station and the 59 died. I restarted it and it ran, but even worse than before. By now, the car could barely get moving, but once it hit about 30mph, it ran fine. Below that, and it would pop and stumble if I gave it much gas. OK, it’s running and we still have 6 hours to go… and night is coming.

We decided that we had enough of toll roads in PA and would take the blacktops. All we had to do was make it through Lima, OH and we’d have open sailing on state and US highways. Like I said, the car could barely get moving and we hit every single stop light and stop sighn all the way through Lima, but we made it and we had one more stop light in Elida, OH and I could get the car back to speed… and it died. I pushed it out of the road and oculdn’t get it started. I had spark at the coil and at the points, but nothing past the points. I figured that it would be a good time to swap in those new points I bought a few days ago… but somehow they got left in Elizabeth’s car… which was back in PA! It was dark, it was a small town, all the stores were closed, and I was in front of a used car dealership… and we had no cell phone reception.

By this time Elizabeth’s mood was very dark. We decided we’d better flag down a cop and call AAA again, but I didn’t want to give up just yet. I saw a truck and trailer with “Stock Car Racing Team” written on the side, so I ran over and flagged them down and explained my situation. They looked confused by words like “points”, but while I was talking to them, another team pulled up and said they could help. Apparently there was a track in town and the races just got out.

Bruce Lenz and the Lenz Racing Team from Findlay, OH were a great help. Bruce managed the team and his sons were the pit crew and driver. The kids clearly wanted to go home, but politely waited and helped, while Bruce had the attitude of “We’re not leaving until this car is running!” They sat with us for FOUR HOURS!! We couldn’t get it started, so they recommended a shop 40 miles away that would know what to do and would be open on Saturday. They let us use their phone and we called AAA. Bruce stuck around to make sure the tow truck driver loaded the car properly. The driver bitched a lot about it being so low and asked me if I ever considered raising the rear end.

By this time, Elizabeth was getting really worried. There we were, stranded, with (what looks like) and expensive car on this guy’s truck and he’s taking us through all these back country roads to a shop recommended by strangers who know how to load it on a trailer. When we got there, the shop was in a sketchy industrial area. As we were unloading the ’59, a car pulls up. It’s Bruce. He dropped his race car and kids off at home and drove over to the shop to make sure the tow truck driver unloaded it properly. By now it was about 2am.

Free AAA tow #4… you only get 5 per year

I was up and at the shop by 8:01am. They had 4 signs… one said they opened at 8 on Saturdays, the other 3 said nothing. No one was there. I tried to call around about renting a car. No one in town had a car and the rental places in neaighboring towns weren’t answering their phones. We had 8 hours to drive 5 hours to make it to our own reception… but had no car!!! I finally found a Chevy dealership that rented me a car with limited miles.

I called the Findlay Police and explained the situation and they said “Ooh, that sounds like a nice car. We’ll send extra patrols around to keep an eye on it.” I love small towns! The Chevy dealership confirmed it was a reputable shop and in a safe neighborhood.

We made it back to Chicago in time to take showers, go to the store and pick up ice and made it to our reception 15 minutes before the first guests arrived… in a ’49 Ford!

The party was a blast and we relaxed with frozen margaritas and some fantastic desserts made by Catherine aka DumbWhore.

Epilogue

I picked up the ’59 yesterday. The mechanic said it was the points and swapped them out, but the car ran like utter crap. It barely made the 5 hour trip home. And when I say “barely”, I mean 50 miles into the trip, I thought it wouldn’t make the next 2 miles, and it died 5 blocks from home in t he rain… in the ghetto… but I got it restarted and it made it to my garage and died and wouldn’t restart, so we pushed it in. At least it’s home. Now we have to decide what to do with Elizabeth’s car.

 

Man I really wanted to be at the Cinematic. My ranchero was in peices and we were on our way back from South Carolina that day. Stories like this one make it even harder. Hopefully next year. Congrats on a great time and your wedding!

 

Cool cars, great scenery, awesome story!

 

congrats to you and your wife, that looked like a fun trip!

 

Sounds like you had a hell of a time! Congrats on tying the knot!

 

This is a real page-turner!

 

Great story Joe! Congrats on gettin' hitched!

 

Congratulations!! and thanks for sharing with us. Best wishes !!

 

holeey smokes! What a story! I gotta say it probably sucked during the hard times, but you two are going to NEVER forget it, and that is pretty Cool! Man, I admire you guys!

 

That sounds like my life story. I'm still trying to figure out Murphy's SS# so I can claim that SOB on my income taxes as a dependent!

 

congratulations on the wedding. Hell, if i had known you all were coming all the way to Hagerstown, I would've bought you all a beer.

 

Where in MD are you?
Beer is good, but I sure needed several very stiff drinks on the way home!

 

Dammm Dood....

thats sounds like hell...and the car troubles are pretty bad too

For real tho...Congrats on getting married,,,She seems to be the right gal
to put up with all those obsticals ..I hate braking down...it the worst...

 

Well, now that you got all that out of the way the rest of your lives together should be smooth as silk!. Good Luck you 2 Krazy Kids!!!!

P.S. If you guys had Fords..........I'm not sayin' anything!.