Man, Louie isn't gonna like THIS!! (City trouble!)

[Fat Hack]

Louie is gonna be PISSED!!! http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shocked.gif

Some busy-body fucking bent over old bitch representing the City Of Dearborn just stuck a notice on my door saying that my old Chevy has to be moved, or it'll be a $500 fine!

This fucked up, crime-ridden Hell-hole, a miserable EXCUSE for a City pulls shit like this to justify hiking taxes every year. The Mayor is a crooked shitwad that makes Boss Hogg look like Mother Theresa, and his little cronies flock to kiss his worthless ass!

Now, I'm a pretty easy-going fella...fairly laid back and downright silly most of the time...but my room-mate is a mean sonofabitch, and he AIN'T gonna like this one bit! His full name is Louisville Slugger, but I just call him "Louie" for short.

The backyard has some snow on it now, and the ground is a little uneven. Someone comes poking around back there, they're likely to fall down and get hurt...BAD! Louie might TRY to help them back up...but he's kinda clumsy...could end up hurting them WORSE!

People just never know when to keep their noses out of the other guy's business. That's how bad things happen...some fuckhead kicks a sleeping dog, and cries when he gets mauled.

Shoulda stayed up north...people there mind their own affairs and don't go walking their uppity yuppie asses around LOOKING for trouble! Fuck this City, Fuck Mayor Guido, Fuck 'em ALL!

Sorry about the rant, but when people fuck with your car, and your way of life, that's grounds for a fight!

[Smokin Joe]

Usually don't have any trouble on the dead end street I live on until the snow falls. Then you get the threats from the city about $500.00 fines for cars on the street even tho they haven't plowed my street in years. http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[Rooster]

Yeah, we've been round and round this forum on the irritations of Zoning Nazi's and busy bodies. I feel for ya man.
It kinda boils down to, What can you do to become compliant with local ordinances?
Registration is the first step but there's also needs like tarps or car covers, carport, privacy fence, etc...
Whatta ya gotta do to store a future classic driver until returning the vehicle to servicable condition,
or weather makes operation feasible?
It's a load a shit that a true car-guy gets mixed into the 'problem' side of the equation.
But at the same time you gotta consider that these same poeple are trying to make the community better, without discriminating,
to weed out the things like a late 80's POS sittin in some back yard providing shelter to small furry mammals that also invade neighboring properties.
You see the difference, I see the difference, they see the bigger picture,
without discriminating against someone
for there choice of era or intent of having it there.
Hope that helps settle ya, there's ways to get around them folks. Butcha gotta figure out how best to bend Their Rules!

[Rooster]

Hey, kinda sounds like I might get forced to come up there and work at Rouge sometime soon, or give up my job. Don't know Where I'd find residence around Detroit but I might hafta Help ya with yer fight, since it's gonna take two car carrier's to bring up my backyard alone!

[4t64rd]

Do you know your neighbors?

[Roothawg]

[ QUOTE ]
Ha Ha...just noticed your tag line, Rooster! http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

I think it's funny how the notion of "Private Property" is such a farce in urban areas!

They want a problem neighbor, I can step up to the plate and make 'em miserable...don't want to HAVE to, but if pushed, I push BACK!

I'll be the Mayor's new Best Friend! Stop by to see him all the time, with a list of complaints that I'VE spotted around town. Call him up fifteen times a day to ask what's being done about it. Circualte flyers to let the Good People know what kind of a fuckhead is running the show. Tacky, out of season decorations will become my new obsession. No more quiet loathing...the time to become a Certified Pain In The Ass has come!!!

http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif


[/ QUOTE ]

HAHAHAHA!!! All those who thought it was safe to leave up their Christmas lights year round..look out!

[porknbeaner]

Hack,
Sorry to hear about your problems with the code nazis.
About every 2 years someone turns me in for somethin to do with my cars.
This year I told the lady (I use the term loosly) on the other end of the phone that there were 3 dope houses on my street alone and they were busy counting cars in my drive.
She changed the subject to keeping my lawn mowed. Didn't bother me I mow at least once a week in the summer. I said OK. I did mow early when the crackheads were trying to sleep.
They busted one of the houses and the other people moved away.
Red Herring bro always works for me. http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

[roadstar]

Is the car in the yard? Or still in the street. I know here where I live you can't even park over night in the street at all. You may have to go get the car regestered jut to leave it in the drive.

[Smokin Joe]

I should send my buddy "Luke" over...
"Luke out! He's got a gun!" http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

[modernbeat]

Don't worry. You're in good company.

Atlanta? They can't get the crooked government and entrenched and exempt Delta to let them lease their airport to cover the $3.5 Billion they need to update their sewers.

Houston: When voted on, the public enthusastically told METRO they wanted nothing to do with light rail in this city. METRO figgured out a way to do it without a vote (or taxpayer money) then proceded to require taxpayer funds for three years to fund the first leg. Construction almost made a ghost town of the newly developed and pedestrian friendly downtown area. Now METRO is asking for huge awards to build other rail legs that are not useful or wanted.

Agoura Hills, California: Has made it so difficult to operate an auto mechanics shop that even the dealer sends his repairs to a neighboring town. Land prices, chemical constraints, waste disposal, and no local depot for replacement parts has run off most of the garages - even the large ones. Local residents have to drive to a neighboring town, or pay fairly high local prices to have repairs done.

Want to live with other humans? The higher the density - the lower the relative intelligence. Just ask security - they don't fear a person - they fear a crowd!

[hatch]

Hack...here's the fix.....call your insurance company and tell them to transfer the insurance on your daily driver over to your chevy. Mail you an insurance certificate. On transfers of coverage, you don't have to show them the car. My insurance (state farm) gives me 30 days free ride to decide which car I'm gonna use. Take the insurance cert to the sec of state and get some "antique plates" ...25 bucks and good forever.

Wait a week and transfer the insurance back to the daily driver....Once the chev is licensed, they can't do a thing about it.

When storing a car in my driveway, I never leave it uncovered. I cover it real tight, so you actually have to untie the tarp to see if it is licensed....if the nazi's do that to check my plates, it's an illegal search. First, they would have to prove it's a car and not some lump of grass clippings or a large snowblower, much less if it is licensed.

My neighbor was getting hassled about his cube van and I told him the same thing...he went to the sec of state and they questioned him "why do you want antiqueplates for a cube van?"...he told them he uses it in parades as an antique fire rescue vehicle....no problem!!!!...dumb ass counter help http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

It's always best to screw them with their own rules...hatch(the rule twister!!!)

[Levis Classic]

Hey FAT!

Just come on back to Northern Michigan and get out of the city. Us up North folks love all your yard art!

[burndup]

Stay and fight, it always blows over. Soviet Socialist Republik of Burbankygraad was on my ass about my caddy and VW bus a coupla months back. Bus would get its tires chalked EVERY day, regardless where it was parked, and despite the OFFICIAL city of burbank residential parking permit hanging off the rear view. got a notice on it saying it hadda move every 72 hours...

I was out there with the can of cheapass black primer painting over the shit every day. Finally got sick of it, called the cops and demanded to speak to whatever fuckwit was in charge of parking enforcement...

1) someone complained for this to happen, but they wouldn't tell me who.

I think thats BULLSHIT, If some dipshit is gonna subject me to the hassle, expense, and otherwise bullshit of having my rolling asset impounded, or fear thereof, I should be able to "inconvenience" their life to the same extent. More on this ina second... I COULDA and almost did find out...

2) Alls I hadda do was prove it was able to cross an intersection. Fine, so I gotta park it on the "more ghetto" block where it can get broken into? Fortuneately it didn't and a couple days of this, they left me alone.


Actually, what ended it was the word "subpeona." (sp?) With a bit of joe-6pack legal wrangling, I coulda gotten the PD to tell me who the complainant was. Maybe I woulda needed to get a schmuck lawywer, maybe not, I got a couple who owe me favors. Even metermaids don't like going to court...

Beurocrats only think they're safe when you seem stupid to them... you start talking tough and pissed in THEIR language, their tru yellow shows thru and they back down...

So, just tell your parking enforcement people to leave you the fuck alone, otherwise you'll subpeona the complainant information out of them, and bring formal complaints against both (or SUE, if you gots duckets) for HARASSMENT!

Yeah, the MAN may try and keep you down, but a kick to his nuts hurts as bad as it would to the rest of us...

[Levis Classic]

Bring it FAT! I will put you to work on the 29 tudor for room and board!

[MercMan1951]

Hack,
Plate and insure it, then drop the insurance after you get your paper "proof" in the mail. At least you'll get proof of insurance in the mail from your insurance co to prove it's insured. I don't think they (the city) have a way of checking that it actually isnt (as far as the inspectors go).

After that, spray it flack black and stencil a skull and crossbones on the hood or trunk in white. That should tell the neighbors you mean business.

Why can't you just park it in front of your garage? Leave the daily stuff in the street?

[Tuck]

woah ok... settle down.. hey hack thats normal... they just want it off the grass. We got warnings about that here in Wisconsin too... as long as its in the driveway you'll be fine. The cops will ticket us for washing are car on the grass... its the law~ keeps the hood looking like the hood aiiite http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif dont worry about it

Tuck

[Machinos]

My project car had been sitting next to our garage for almost exactly 2 years, with me working on it pretty much only in the summer, then covering it up in the winter. Then last month, out of the blue, we get a nasty letter from a CITY INSPECTOR about how it's illegal to have an unlicensed car parked on your own property, and all this other bullshit. The license plate on that car expired in 1971 for godsake and everything from the firewall forward was off and in the process of being restored inside. How the hell am I supposed to license a car that doesn't even have a gas pedal?

Of course it included a declaration that we either move it within 2 weeks or we'll be subject to monstrous fines. It was obvious that one of our neighbors had decided to file a complaint when if they'd just ASKED I would've done something about it.

Well, what do we notice the very next day, but a guy in our neighbor's yard surveying their property. The next day we saw them leaving while reading a big Parade of Homes newsletter. The old jackasses were thinking about selling their house and didn't want that UGLY OLD CAR sitting there bringing down their property values.

Now, we've always been friendly to them even though we have never liked them. The old man used to be a woodworker as a full-time job, and has about the equivalent of a three-car garage full of woodworking machinery. They also sit on their back porch burning garbage and listening to really awful country music as long as it isn't snowing or raining out. And virtually every morning we're woken up at 7AM to the sound of table saws and drill presses (when my mom bought this house she was concerned about the noise that might come from a professional woodworker having his shop 100 feet from her bedroom window, but he assured her he was retired and hardly ever worked out there...that was until they bought a giant RV the next year and started working again to pay for it).

Nothing pisses me off more than passive-agressivists. One of the biggest problems with this country is that everyone is of the mind that all problems should be solved with lawsuits and other legal action. Ugh.

[Roothawg]

Hack, check with the DMV. We have what they call black tags here. Means you are tagged but under construction. No insurance required.

[Bruce Lancaster]

"The old jackasses were thinking about selling their house and didn't want that UGLY OLD CAR sitting there bringing down their property values."

Get the car out of the bastards' sight, Then when they're having their open house throw a good, big party-- with "Mexican independence day" or "Black Panther Legal defense Fund Event"banners and directional signs for same at every nearby intersection. Be sure all of your friends park in the street with their hoods up, and spend lots of time leaning over the fenders with beers. Be sure to have plenty of music matching your party thene, and ask all visitors to the open house to contribute to the cause and come to your regular parties.

[burtrido]

What the fuck! You can't even wash your car on the grass. We are encouraged to wash our cars on the grass here so we don't waste water (wash car and water the grass at the same time) Yep land of the free??????

[KCsledz]

If they don't like it on the grass then remove the grass! They can't say anything if its on gravel can they?

[Donzie]

THIS is why I moved to the country!!

[james]

Hack-- do you own the house? If so, there's only one word-- FENCE!! I've got a 6' board on board fence (no gaps) and have had "junk" cars in the back yard since we moved in 7 years ago. We live only about 20 blocks from downtown, and right now I have my 54 plymouth, 80something olds donor car, a vw bus I drug out of the woods, and an old yamaha, all unregistered. I'm carefull about noise, and someone would have to climb a step ladder to check, and I always have something blocking the tag area, so they'd have to climb the fence to check. I've had no probs EVER.

[4t64rd]

Do you rent the house or own it? The reason somebody complained is they don't want the precious property values damaged. Who ever is selling their house is your target.

Do you have a local Pennysaver newspaper?
I'm thinking they need to have a garage sale next Sunday morning, come early for the best deals. 5AM - 12 PM.
Change of address cards, they might begin to wonder were ALL of their mail went after 2 weeks of not getting any. Make up an address in a CA zip code.
Wait about 2 weeks, then fill out as many magazine subscription cards as you can with their name and the "bill me later" box checked.
Devils night will be FUUUUUUUUUN next year!
Next time it snows at night, take a bucket of water and pour it down their driveway.
Ruin all Christmas parties in the neighborhood for the next 2 weeks with super glued door locks and a parking in the street complaint.
Make up a nice "Beware, Child Molester" sign and make a nice name for you community action group like "Citizens Against Child Molesters", stick it in the yard one night.
Use a permanent marker and write out the Constitution and the Bill of Rights all over the Chevy, call it lawn art. http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif then get the ACLU and the news TV crews involved. Tell them you are fixing it up for your mother as a Christmas present, they love that shit.

[porknbeaner]

[ QUOTE ]
The complaint read "Remove car from the grass in the yard"



Maybe I should set a patio block under each wheel? That way, it's not TECHNICALLY "on the grass"!!!

[/ QUOTE ]

Hack,
Got a friend across the river (different county) they got an improved surface law. That is exactly what he does with his racecar. He leaves it on the grass until they give him a notice, then puts it up on patio blocks. They get satisfied everytime.
Still think your best bet is try and draw thier attention to the other worse offenders in the neighborhood.

Or you could move in with us, don't have much room in the garage... http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

[Hot Rod To Hell]

Hey Hack, When you figure out where they live let us know... Maybe Denise will let us borrow some clothes and us GAY MICHIGAN BITCHES can go sing 'em some Xmas carols, at say, 3am! http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

[shifts]

You guys are way off base. I'd kill them with kindness, such as offering them FREE oil changes on all their cars & RVs. Just dont forget that amazing additive of 2 jumbo grade A eggs in the crankcase.

[metalshapes]

Somebody told me ( a guy I know that gets in trouble with the county every 5 years or so, for having 82 cars in his back yard )that any kind of car in any kind of condition is OK, as long as it is on a licenced Trailer.
You could build a makeshift Trailer cheap, if you dont plan to use it for actual car hauling.

[kustombuilder]

[ QUOTE ]
Ha Ha...just noticed your tag line, Rooster! http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

I think it's funny how the notion of "Private Property" is such a farce in urban areas!

They want a problem neighbor, I can step up to the plate and make 'em miserable...don't want to HAVE to, but if pushed, I push BACK!

I'll be the Mayor's new Best Friend! Stop by to see him all the time, with a list of complaints that I'VE spotted around town. Call him up fifteen times a day to ask what's being done about it. Circualte flyers to let the Good People know what kind of a fuckhead is running the show. Tacky, out of season decorations will become my new obsession. No more quiet loathing...the time to become a Certified Pain In The Ass has come!!!

http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif


[/ QUOTE ]


HELL YEAH!!! go get em HACK....

[jdubbya]

Man, for some reason, after reading this post, I cannot get Public Enemy's song "Fight the Power" outta my head. http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

[k9racer]

I have posted this before. The following are for entertainment only. Do not do this. Does your neighbor or the busy body who rides around have a garden? Weed killer works good.Or if they have a nice grass throw cheap grass seed all over this will also attract lots of birds. Sodium silicate when poured on a windshield dries hard and wont come off.Any dead critter that will fit in a mason jar add 2 inch water seal tightly and hide the jar. After a while the gases will explode the jar and will make the hardest puke. Stink bomb take a quart jar add a quarter inch drano add 2 inch water let set in a warm room for about 1 hr with the lid on. Take the lid off add 6 egg whites add quater cup methlene blue let set for 5 weeks. when ready to use shake and throw the bottle and let it break. Bad stuff. Call all the charity groups in the telephone book give them you neighbors address and tell them to come pick up things. Order things and have them delivered. If you can get to the oil pan drain the oil and replace with water. this way the presure light will go off and instant cooked bearings.Go to where the transient workers hang around and give them some money and the address and tell them to remove all shrubry and tell them you will pay the rest when they are through.Horse linament works good put on door knobs ,chairs or if you can get close in a crowd have some in a small bottle and squirt in their shoes. Cut off the water valve by the meter and fill with quick setting Sackcret cost about 600 dollars to repair.Revenge is best when served cold.

[PetT]

I had a 2 car wide gravel parking spot and a grassed parking spot next to it. Got told that i couldnt have the car on the grassed area ....... Had the whole area paved... then i was in compliance.
Bitch next door had turned me in.

[Nads]

See now you know what it feels like Fat Hack?
I'm sick of having dirtbags like yerself as my next door neighbor. You think your car should be treated different than some '84 Chevette simply because the wonderful and temperate Michigan winters haven't swallowed it up in 50 years? Just because something manages to live beyond it's natural life span doesn't mean it should get automatic respect. Collectible or not.
I wish my friend's asshole 23 year old cat would up and die. That loose boweled feline with the personality of an angry pufferfish shoulda been put down when it still had use of 75% of it's legs.

I always make sure my shit's neat and tidy because the Historic Preservation Board Stalinists are an evil but just bunch.
The secret in my eyes is the disguisment off offending pieces of shit.
The seat from my '54 Chevy is disguised as an Adirondack chair. A few 2x4s and door hinges took care of that.
The recycling bin overflowing with beer bottles and Chinese take out boxes is now a delightful working Hawaiian volcano.
The Consul Capri as it appears from the street is a Tiki Bar. Bamboo wallpaper with a thin layer of visquine can work wonders.

But the cars that do look like junk I have titled, registerd and insured. This way the elitist yuppies in my neighborhood can't legally say shit to me.

Is it worth the expense?

You bet yer ass!!!!!

[Hot Rod To Hell]

One twist on what K9 Racer said, Instead od dead critter and water (YUCK!!!) just throw some chicken breast in the jar and fill it about 1/2 way with milk. You will NEVER get rid of that smell! http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

[hillbillyhellcat]

I could never get away with having a junkyard in my neighborhood, not to mention that I live at home... My buddy had a similar problem - too many mullet camaros in his driveway - he got his neighbors to shut up by registering the car and sticking a plate on the back. If it's registered, they can't say anything.

[Threedeuce56]

If their car has the "pull up "type of door handles,some toothpaste or dog doo spread underneath with a old spatula will work wonders! http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

[jdubbya]

I prefer the vasoline, bearing grease, or best of all graphite grease on the windshield wipers, just lets them know that someone cares...

[RileyRacing]

As seemingly simple as that seems, it sux. What I mean is, if Dearaborn is like Plymouth, it won't matter that it is plated and insured. They have this gay ordinance about immobile vehicles, basically you can't have any car that you're working on in the city limits...EVEN IN THE GARAGE!!!! Yes, ludicrous as it seems, you CANNOT restore a car in your own garage within the city limits. In the township, yes, but not the city. And, to make matters even better, even though my house was built in 1930, and has a gravel driveway, I am not allowed BY LAW to use it, except for portions that are cement, or asphalt... no brick pavers (explain that to the people on harvey st, the high rent district, that THEY can't use their $30000 driveway.) I got tapped for parking my 2000 Chevy Silverado on the gravel portion of my driveway, 3 separate times!!!!

FUCK SUBURBS!!!!

But the Goddamned city fags move out to the country, cause it's peaceful and shit, and drive the prices up, so folks like me who appricieate farm land and it's use (not to grow subdivisions) can't afford to live the life we were brought up on... then complain cause country folk do country folk stuff, like hunt, or mud bog, or have wild orgys... or complain that the horses that seemed so scenic when they were looking at their fucking "dream house" are stinky and make noise late at night...

Assholes.

But I digress. You can't fight city hall bro, I've been that route, trust me, I got the fines to prove it.

But we can fuck with Olga...

I like the tie a dead skunk to her catalytic converter trick...

Jay

[RileyRacing]

Why do you think I am enjoying driving my bro's Dodge so much... ahhhhh Flowmasters.... and I leave for work at 4:20 AM! http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

And, it has no choke, so it HAS to have a fast idle warmup for at LEAST 5 minutes, EVERY DAY!!!! http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Jay

[chromedRAT]

ok, first off, rocketj2, bitchin signature. good song. second, i had this idea back in high school, but it is kinda dangerous in an itchy sorta way unless you are the rare person that is not allergic to poison ivy! always wanted to crush some up, fill a squirtgun with it, and go to town on doorhandles or etc. never did it, but wouldn't it be sweet. LOVELY how freedom of speech and property rights only apply to those with money. protection from tyranny my ASS.

[MercMan1951]

Maybe you and Hack could "fork" her lawn, or "political sign" it...you know the drill. It's not corn season anymore...

[RileyRacing]

"Fork you, Olga" in forks in her lawn would be poetic, wouldn't it? http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Or, just put her house up for sale every other week...

http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

mashed potatoes work well too.

Or do what I always wanted to do to my old neighbor , RIP... She's lived there for awhile, right? So her house may not be "totally" up to code, right? Well, turn the tables. Tell the city ordinance inspector that you were visiting, and noticed that they had everything in their house run off extension cords, and you feel it is a "safety" hazard to the houses around it. Could burst into flames any second... http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif


ChromedRAT, thanks. Primus sucks http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif
Jay

[silent rick]

why do you want to fuck with this old lady? you were in violation. so she pointed it out. correct it and the problem is solved.

i know if someone was to pull some of this shit everyone is talking about on a relative of mine, they would think the $500 fine was getting off light. maybe she has grand kids crazier than i am.

anyway, it's god damn christmas. do the right thing.

[MercMan1951]

Jay,

I forgot about the instant mashed potatoes...your old lady neighbor next door died? Man, that's like 15 people this year that I've either known, known of, or known through people I know that have died this year...scary.

[RileyRacing]

Yeah, this spring dude. Shoot me a pm, bro, for that week we're off.

Jay

[chromedRAT]

yeah man, i was very much joking about the poison ivy thing especially in this case, just a fucked up idea i had way back in high school, dumb stuff. never did it, most likely never gonna. turning the tables and seeing what violations you could see of theirs wouldn't be too bad, turnaboutis fair play i think, but i'd say most if not every last one of us weren't serious about doing any real harm, especialy since this is in public and out in the open! remember the link someone posted about the ford SVT dealership mechanic that posted on an SVT cobra board about how he thought the owner was some "stupid woman" and as proof posted her personalized plate number and people on the board fuckin knew her????