WAY O/T.hug your wife

[williebill]

To those who expect this to have anything to do with cars,I suggest that you read no further.This ain't fun to read,and it sure as hell ain't fun to write.But since I don't know what I'm doing anymore,why not.
I don't really know any of the great people on the HAMB personally,and I've only met one of you in person,I think.I love this place,as I've said before,even though with all my posts,I doubt I've ever contributed anything worth shit here.That said,I can write this without fearing any of my buddies reading something I don't want anybody to know.Sorry Ryan,for wasting your space.If you want to delete me,that's OK.At least I will have written down a couple of thoughts.
Last Tuesday,my beautiful wife of 23 years told me she was leaving me.We have worked together for 20 years or so,so I got the news at work.No,our marriage wasn't perfect by any definition,but I don't know any that are.We have always had a volatile marriage,I yell alot,and she can be a big drama queen,and keeps alot of stuff inside.But I've never cheated on her,never wanted to,and I've never,never hit her.Not even close.
She's not keeping anything inside anymore.I've gotten both barrels for 5 days now,and it's killing me.No,she's not yelling much,but she won't talk either.No matter how carefully I ask anything,I get a cruelty I never knew she was capable of dishing out.Yet we still work side by side in our business,every day,and she is more alive to the customers than ever before.Humming and singing while at work is the sound of a knife twisting inside of me.
There will be,apparently,no second chances.
My kids,25 and 18, are devastated.They certainly knew that Mom and Dad fought some,and yelled a lot.But they knew that we "loved" each other,always.My wife is close to both kids,and they had no clue.They have been a rock for me the last few days.They are all I have now.
The few people that know don't seem to think that there is anybody else in her life.I honestly don't know.We work together every day,but have always had a little seperate time,too.If there is anybody else,I honestly don't know if my love for her would change that much.At least there would be a "decent" reason for this.
I was kinda proud of how I was handling this for a day or two.No yelling,no begging,just trying to understand why.And telling her as many ways as I know that I'm sorry I have ignored her too much,and didn't show her what she meant to me enough.I know a lot of ways to tell her I love her,but she's not listening.Her "support group" is made of up a busybody friend who has a big reputation for stupid BS,and a sister in law who is a very devious,dishonest,conniving bitch.Neither one has ever liked me,and they know I don't give a shit if they live or die,either.So I am doomed,except for my kids
Yes,there are 2 sides to every story,but it serves me no purpose to make up shit on the HAMB.Am I a loudmouth asshole?Sure.Opinionated,and stubborn as hell?Yep.Not exactly Tom Cruise to look at? Guilty as charged.
But we shared a lot of good and bad times...23 years..And she did love me.Did,anyway.Now she won't answer that question,or any other.
So for now,we live in seperate rooms at the house.She has said that she will work here for a while.She doesn't have enough money to move out,I think.
So I twist in the wind.I don't give a shit about cars anymore.Or anything else,except her and my kids.All of a sudden,I found out,too fucking late,what priorities are.Not that it might have made a difference,but life is kinda simple now.
I don't give a shit about anything now.
Hug your wife,now,and tell her you love her.
Williebill

[oldchevyseller]

http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif

[Flexicoker]

You sir are going through what I believe would be my worst nightmare. I wish I could say something to make it better. You'll pull through...

[Cadillacin Marcus]

Been there done that....hopefully guys will not talk shit and make fun of you..like they did to me when i went through my nightmares..Hang in there man........there is nothing that i can say that will make it any better I know that.All I can say is TIME makes things right again.don't give up,try and stay cool and try not to bring the kids into the BS.......

[choprods]

I'm thinking this probably is a lot more common than just this one family- We all are guilty of saying or doing less than we could........and some of us are cruisin close to the edge without knowing it either.
Good luck FRIEND-
your fellow HAMB members are thinking good thoughts for you and your family..........

[Deuce Roadster]

http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif


Sometimes ........you have to almost lose the things you love to appreciate them.


I was married for 27 years to the same woman I dated for 8 years. I love her..........but sometimes you lose sight of that fact. I did not drink, cheat or be mean..........just not appreciative of what I had.

I had a heart attack and was dead for 5 - 6 minutes. The Emergency folks jump started me and a week later I had 5 bypass surgery. The evening before the surgery, the Doc says...you have a 50/50 chance of not being alive after the surgery. Man.what a wake up call. I came to the realization of what she meant to me. http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crazy.gif We celebrated 30 years of marriage this past month.

I do tell her more now. She is my BEST friend. I almost blew it.

I sincerely hope you can work this out.........HOPING for the best http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif


.

[Dat Dirty Rat]

Keep your head up holmes,,,sometimes things just run there course and thats it..Its tough but you got to be strong for yourself and your kids...You'll pull through...
I know we never met,,but if you need shoulder to lean on..Send me a pm..Sometimes its just nice to have someone who you can talk to who isnt so close 'to home' (like some of your friends) so your able to vent..I'm here..hang in there!

Dirty

[Deuce Rails]

Wow. I feel for you.

Keep cars in mind; don't forget about them completely. Sometimes they're the distraction you need to get you through times like these.

I wish you the best of luck.

--Matt

[Roothawg]

Hang in there Bro......

[Morrisman]

Sorry to hear the bad news. All I can think of is if she has totally made her mind up, and you have nothing left to lose, then blow her off. Tell her to pack her shit and get the fuck outta dodge. If she has discarded you, told you it's all over, abandoned the 'family' deal, maybe she just needs a good sharp reality check to kick start her back into reality.

[The37Kid]

I wish you well. Don't know what to say. http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif

[CherryBlossom]

[ QUOTE ]
Keep cars in mind; don't forget about them completely. Sometimes they're the distraction you need to get you through times like these.



[/ QUOTE ]

Sometimes they can even be a big part of the problem. A hobby is a hobby. It shouldn't run your entire life. Turn the table and look thru their eyes too.
[ QUOTE ]

All of a sudden,I found out,too fucking late,what priorities are.Not that it might have made a difference,but life is kinda simple now.

[/ QUOTE ]


Amazing how that happens.


Good luck to you both.

[JamesG]

Sorry to hear this. I know that I've said that me and my better half would never split up, but tons of folks have told me "People Change". I couldn't imagine my wife ever doing that, but one can never say never. I just pray that we stay together for as long as God wills. Hang in there man.

[draider]

I know that I'm a younger guy and a newbie here, but I truly believe that everything in life happens for a reason, even if you can't always see why. If you do get back with her, then maybe this time will help you to build a better relationship. If you stay apart, at the very least you can look back at you life and appreciate that for time, you had someone to love and to love you back. I know that its hard to see any hope or to be optimistic, but look around. There are at least two people in your life that love you more than you know. Your Hamb family is here if you need us.-David

[crewcutkid]

I can appreciate that, man. My parents are looking like they are gonna call it quits, and they won't tell me a ding dang thing. I'm sorry, man. I'll keep you in my prayers.
-Crew

[bufordtjustice]

You are in my prayers bro. I wish you the best.

Greg

[Turbo26T]

Williebill : Been there , done that...TWICE! Just be cool and calm, protect yourself legally , don't do anything foolish (even though you'll feel like it)..It's the most gut-wrenching thing to have to endure , but you will get thru it and will be stronger. Protect your relationship with your kids at all costs...Wives can/will come & go , but kids tend to stay loyal... take care

[Tim Brown]

Been there, it hurts. My wife just came in and wondered why she got a hug. I let her read your post and let her know how special she is to me. Hang in there, time has a way of healing...

[CGkidd]

I can definately relate. Me and my wife have only been married a short while but we are going through the exact same thing right now. I have neglecting her and now I am faced with the prospect of a divorce. I pray things work for you. I have been given till my ship gets underway again to show her that I care or I am going to be living on the ship when I get back. I hope things manage to work out for you.
Eric

[Bill.S]

Chill out Willie, it could be a medical problem like hormones being out of balance.
It maybe change of life setting in, I've been married for 33 years and went through the change with my wife.
See if you can get her to get a med checkup and see a counselor together.
You both have 25 years of your lives invested don't throw in the towel just yet.

Just my 4 cents! (inflation you know)

[Pist-n-Broke]

Been there, done that 3 times. Thought I'd die from the load of guilt. What did I do? How did I get here?
Now let me tell you this. It has gotten better each time. My kids survived and Wife #4 is now the best thing I've ever had. The other thing is I know I'm a much better husband, just a SLOW learner.
And this too will pass.
The Wizzard

[Crosley]

My wife and I have been together for 33 years .....Not sure what to say. We all have our own troubles in our lives.

A close friend & former neighbor is in the hospital & very ill. Heart troubles for a few years, lung problems and a new blood disease they are not sure about yet.

She is only 7 years older than me.

Keep your head up , you will bang it less as you move forward

[tatts]

i send you my prayers man . my wife and i just celebrated our 5yr wedding aniv. last night . last weekend we got into it about not caring enough and the damn cars and of course the honey do list . its rough and definantly not easy street if it were marrige wouldnt be as priceless as it is. im sorry you have to go through this it sucks and the thought of not being with my wife is horrible. and im the same i yell and she can be a drama queen as well. im sure Ryan wont mind your post. if you need anyone here to bs with im sure nobody would mind..hang in there

[fab32]

Just celebrated 40 years with my wife. We've been through just about everything you could imagine, from the greatest joy to the worst times and I can't imagine life without her. God willing,and if I can do my part, I won't have to find out.

Frank

Frank

[RagDoll]

I'm sorry to hear this. May everything turn out for the best!

[Kilroy]

I don't think you're really looking for advice but I gotta go with the "change of life" thing too.

My mom left my dad and I'm sure that was part of it. She had a melt down and has never really been the same since. Like she had a nervouse break down or something. She turned to people who really weren't her friends and they pushed her away from my dad and me. I think she regrets it but she'd never admit that it might have been hormones and not my dad.

Then my dad remarried and the same thing happened again after about 7 years. Both my mom and step-mom were about the same age and both changed dramatically. While my dad is the same person he's always been. Both acted remarkably like the way you describe your wife as acting... Like they just flipped a switch and their feeling for the other person was gone.

I don't know if this is any help other than maybe for you to think that it may not be all your fault. And that perhapse there is an element to this that you could have done nothing about.

Keep your chin up and try to find something positive to take comfort in. I have a feeling you are in for a long rough road ahead but it will eventually smooth out.

Try to get her in to see a Psychiatrist. Your wife will think that you are really in to saving the marriage and if she is having a chemical thing, a psychiatrist can prescribe meds that a psychologist can't.

[spark]

Defiantly don’t want to get into your business, but is your wife going through change of life? (Menaphors sp?), My wife went though this at age 37!! We had been married for 17 years 2 kids, things changed for us big time! My wife has been on hormone replacement therapy and this has helped.

Please Don’t dismiss this idea, this can be devastating if its not treated, the affects can be mild to way way over the top.

Maybe your Daughter could support your wife and approach the subject with a doctor.

At first the doctor dismissed the change of life- (too young usually mid 40s to late 50’s) but hormone level test confirmed this was the case. I didn’t know any thing about the affects, just thought this is the end of my marriage- no communication, I couldn’t do anything right, we are still together but it was hard going.

Good luck with this.

[Muttley]

I'm so glad I'm single again, it sucked for a while but I've learned that I'm much better off. After all the dust settles you will find a new kind of freedom, it rules being able to do whatever you want to do and not have to compromise.

[Kev Nemo]

Wow-so I'm not the only 'Ross' from 'Friends' here http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crazy.gif
Yeah, I plan on making this one last in spite of all the hot rockabilly chicks (the Valley of Temptation is usually paved with tattoos, black bobs, and pencil skirts http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif)
That 'support group' shit sounds familiar- those chicks just want someone to live in the same house as them and their 50 stray cats!
I make light of the situation because mine had me drinkin' and thinkin' of a long drive out into the Gulf of Mexico. http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif
If the love is strong, you'll find a way and sometimes you have to just find that love again in the first place....

[williebill]

A very heartfelt thanks to all that have written.I'm thinking my support group is better than hers,I've got the HAMB.I sat at this computer and refreshed until 3 AM.Today is our day off from work,normally I would sleep late,but sleep and food are only optional activities now.Don't seem to need much of either.
To all who mentioned the side effects of menopause,she got chopped and channeled about 11 years ago,and takes hormones daily,I think.
Today is her 49th birthday,and she was out of the house when I woke up about 6:30.Somehow,I wasn't surprised,it's her day off,too.
Thanks again to all who have written,and PM'd me.You have helped in ways you could not understand,and given me a couple of laughs,too.I know I'm not the first guy to go through this,but that doesn't make it hurt any less.Thanks,Williebill

[robber grin]

WB... geez.

I'm sorry to hear what you are going through. My first wife walked out on me and two daughters after seven years. I can't imagine after 23... I did meet a customer the other night whose husband left her after 34 years. So I guess it happens more than we think.

I hope and pray you find a way through it all.

Just get up everyday and try to do your best from this day forward. Don't beg for anything. Just stay in the game and keep plugging somehow.

Talk to your kids... talk to someone. Don't keep it inside.
Hell... talk to us, but don't let it eat you alive.

Unfortunately it's going to hurt for some time. You'll figure out what you have to do to live with it somehow.

There's nothing that can replace somebody you love. Friends and family (and hambers) will help you in dealing with the bad feelings so keep your eyes focused on the prize. That is you getting through this and coming out on the other side as a better human being.

Let it happen because you won't make her feel anything she doesn't feel herself naturally. It's her call and your at the mercy of her feelings when it comes to this. Try letting her see that you care enough for her and your family to kind of step back and let her work through this stage in your lives.

Your kids will thank you if you take the higher (tougher) road.

I'm sorry to have gone on and on... I'm not trying to get Dr. Phil's spot... but I've been in this man's shoes and it hurts.

Don't give up. You got living to do brother.

[Chili Phil]

Man, the fact that you told us to go and hug our wives speaks volumns about your charactor. HAMBers really ARE the best people.

I went through this and a few more bad things in 38 years (so far) of marriage. I got lucky and got her back. Maybe you will too. Or maybe not. But stay close to your kids and be true to yourself. Sometimes we are not exactly the guy she fell for many years ago. Work and life in general, change us in ways that sometimes we don't notice. I sure wish you luck. Women go through big changes when their periods stop. Chemical hormone replacement is as iffy as any treatment. The folks who said to have somebody talk to her about asking her Doc if her levels are alright are right. Those hormones are some powerful shit.

Good luck Willybill.

CP

[Mass Butcher]

This topic is not as off topic as it may appear. I can't speak for anyone but myself, but I know for a fact I'm completely 100% guilty of not being the type of person I'm supposed to be for my family. Long 16 hour work days, many shows and swap meets, working on my many unfinished projects has limited my time at home to almost mothing. I have what I think is an understanding wife, but I also know I tread in treacherous waters. I too take advanatage of that "understanding" and took a minute after reading your post to visualize life alone. Not something I want.
sorry about your situation, and I hope you guys find a reasonable solution. Thanks for the reminder.

[Big A]

My wife moved out in May, 2 weeks before our 5th anniversary. I know what you're going through and it's not easy. Hang in there brother.

Yes, this post is way OT, but I consider the HAMB to be a bunch of friends, and it does help to get this stuff off your chest and get support from friends.

[Farmer]

I am currently working things out with my wife. In just twelve months we went from husband & wife to an affair, to seperation to divorce papers all to have it reversed, and coming back together. 12 months of "not fun", but alot of learning about life and what it takes to make a marriage work. Hang in there. There are times when all you have is your kids and friends you can count on one hand but sometimes that's all you need. It sucks to have these things happen to us to make us see that. You'll pull through, just remember, there are those of us who have gone through and are going through the same thing right now. You
can make it through. If you hurt, let it out, and wait on the counseling till she's willing too, otherwise, it's a waste of time. It takes TWO people to wreck a marriage, and TWO to make it work. Whether you think she's listening or not, tell her or leave her a voicemail, or write her and tell her you love her, and you want this marriage to work, every day. If you really do love her, look inside and see if there's things you gotta change in your life, not for her, but for your kids and for yourself. You be the best you can be as a man, try your hardest and be the last one to give up and at the end of the day you can hold your head high knowing you did all you could and knowing she knew you loved her. I wish the best for you brother. Hang in there-
John
you holler if you need to.

[Nads]

Having been there I feel your pain.

If I might make an observation, ladies might hate me for saying this, but most of my buddies have had their gals walk out on them, not the other way around. Do the gals just have an off/on button that once it's off it can never be turned on again?
There are seldom explanations given, which makes me wonder about women's so called "open communication" credo seem like a pile of horseshit.

I'm glad my ex decided I was a piece of crap and initiated the break up, at the time I was tore up, but now I know it was for the best. If it wasn't for having a daughter with her I'd be delighted not to speak to her ever again.

I'm happily remarried, but the new wife still has ways to make me bang my head on the wall, I'm sure she'll say the same about me. But what I do know is that I'll try harder than ever to make it work this time. Neither of us are spring chickens, what are we gonna do, go to church socials and play bingo hoping to find the right geriatric?

I hope you're not beating yerself up too bad, but I can't imagine how you couldn't, a quarter of a century's been chucked down the toilet. I'm truly sad about what you're going through, but there is ALWAYS a light at the end of the tunnel, you'll make it.

Men and women will never see eye to eye, it's frustrating but at the same time it's what draws us to each other.
If I knew the secret of keeping a woman happy I'd bottle it and make a kabillion bucks.

[hotrodladycrusr]

Well I've been pondering this for a day or so cuz I really don't know what to say. I am really sorry to hear this has happened to you. I thought maybe I could offer some words of wisdom from a females point of view but I don't think I could say anything that the fellows haven't already.

I do know from experience that most hard core car guys don't spend enough time with their families and do neglect other things in their lives that need to be taken care of. I don't personally have a problem with car stuff coming first and foremost BUT I know from seeing my car buddies at cruz nites, shows, events, etc., nite after nite, day after day, that these guys can't possibly be spending quality time with their loved ones. There are some guys that I see sometimes 5 nites a week, all spring, summer, and fall for years and I have never met their wives. Thats alot of time to spend away from home. Not to mention the hours upon hours spent in the garage by most. I'm not saying that you spent too much time outta the week doing the car thing cuz I really don't have a clue. This is just some food for thought for not only you but some of the other guys that might end up reading this.

I've reread your post a couple of times and noticed your youngest is 18 years old. Lots of women wait till the youngest child is 18 and outta high school before they make a move to leave when in fact they have been unhappy for many years. I could also see that to make it easier to actually leave she wants you to "hate" her so she is saying and doing things she might not normally have done. I hate to tell you this but she has probley been planning this for quite a while. I don't see much you can do at this point, the balls in her court.

What I would like you to do is to get counseling for you and the kids. You need to get alot of stuff off your chest and the kids need to learn to deal with the inevitable. I wish you the best of luck.

[weekender]

Been there, done that.

My wife (#2) and I believe, "Something good comes out of everything).

Do everything you can to save this thing. If that doesn't work, do like someone else on here said, send her down the road. You're too good of a man to be let go. Make her "fight" for you. Still tell how you feel after she is gone, and maybe she will realize what she misses.

Don't make your kids take sides, and don't ever run her down in front of them. Got my first D in 1980, and one of my 3 children(35,34,&32, also 3 steps= 6) just last week said they respected me for not doing what thier mother did, "Talk bad about me"). I never did talk trash about her in front of them.

Good luck,and do what YOU have to, to make YOU happy.

SOMETHING GOOD COMES FROM EVERYTHING1

Tommy Mc

[snortonnorton]

although i'm young, i know all to well what you are going through

[CheaterChris]

got any cars for sale? You know since you dont give a shit about cars... Just wondering?

[CharlieLed]

Been through it myself...if it's any consolation her decision to leave has haunted her for over 21 years now. Many women (and a few men) that I have known in this situation have found it difficult to make the transition from the child-rearing parent after the kids become adults. There is a sense of freedom in dropping the responsibility of a marraige and taking out on a new life...that initial rush soon fades after they see the devastation it leaves behind.
As others have said, stay true to yourself...your shortcomings do not dictate your course in life, it's your personal integrity and self-worth that will keep you on the straight and narrow. When it's all said and done you will still be able to hold your head high and more importantly you will have the respect of your kids. Good luck and may the pain be short-lived....

[FoMoCo_MoFo]

Keep your chin up bro.

Make sure your kids are taken care of during this time

[Psychobilly Boi]

Hi All,

Faced with a similar event myself, although 4 years not 25. First thing is dont blame yourself, someone said it takes two to wreck a marriage and two to create one. Thats wrong, it only takes one person to wreck a marriage.

So dont blame yourself. If down the track you both wind up in counceling, take that time to look inside yourself and see what you did "wrong" but dont "blame" youself for the breakup.

Surround yourself with family and friends... they are your key to survival at this time.

Danny

[BELLM]

Can't add much, lots of good advice. 16 yrs ago I gave up any hope that my wife of 15 yrs was going to change her mind and try to work things out, filed for a divorce, moved on with my life. Was very hard to do.
In retrospect her decision that she did not want to be married to me anymore was the best thing that ever happened to me. I married again, my kids all moved in with me 1 by one, and life has been much better than before.
I hope things work out. If they don't, when its time to divvy things up, be fair and equal, TO YOURSELF as well as to her. Don't be the nice guy and try to look out for her by giving everything to her. When its all said and done, and you realize it is really over, and you pick up the pieces and move on with your life you don't want to look back and realize you have been screwed twice. It's amazing how someone who once loved you so much can be so cold and ruthless.
The good thing is that the kids are grown.
Good luck brother.

[Rand Man]

Tough love:
Forget about her now and don’t look back. Move all your valuables to an undisclosed location. Make her move out of the house if she wants the divorce. There is no doubt she has been planning this for a long time. This is a battle she plans to win. All women have that love switch and it is highly unlikely it can be reset to the proper position. Her mind is made up. There is no changing it. Do yourself a favor and move on.

My first wife left me in ’90. I wouldn’t listen to this kind of advice. The only thing I seemed to hear was “This is not my house. This is not my beautiful wife. This is not my large automobile. How did I get here? Oh my god what have I done?” Some great women came into my life, and abruptly left it during my ten-year haze. If I had gained the ability to live in the here and now, life would have been much better.

My first wife was a thorn in my side and I’m glad she’s somebody else’s trouble now. A few years after the divorce, I let my best chance for love slip through my hands, before I got my mind right. I didn’t find happiness until I got back in gear and started looking ahead. My eyes were out of focus. I couldn’t see the signs. I didn’t find my way out of that muddy patch until I came to the crossroads. I finally faced the hard, cold fact that bride number two is gone and not coming back. I didn’t appreciate what I had found along the road and that my friend is the biggest mistake a man can make. Keep your eyes on the road. You can’t drive with your head in the rearview mirror.

I am moving in the right direction now. I do my best to show my current wife I care. When my mind does slip back, I turn it into a learning experience. You may have spun out and been banged up a bit, but your not totaled. Do everything you can to get back in the race. Sitting on your ass wondering why your teammate shoved you into the wall is doing nothing to get your chassis straightened out. Get out there and make a few more laps while you’ve got the chance.

[Kilroy]

Rand Man's probably ain't the popular position but he's probably right...

I honestly think the only chance you have of saving your marriage if she has "flipped that switch" is to try to put her on the defensive some how. If you haven't done anything major wrong, then she really doesn't have a reason to leave you. Period.

If she is making this decision without some major fuck-up on your part then her motives are purely selfish. She's leaving you, her kids,and fucking up everybody's life because she just decided that she couldn't take the same shit she's put up with for over 20 years, anymore. That's bull-shit.

If you can get her to see any part of that you might have a chance at working things out. If not, you have to move on. If not for your own sanity, for your kids.

I can speak from they're perspective in that I was 16 when my mom left. I was pretty self sufficient at that point so I didn't need much in the way of parenting. It still sucked to have my dad moping around for over 3 years. I just didn't need to see that.

For your kids you need to find strength. Even though they're grown, they still need to look to you to lead.

[williebill]

I've read all these posts again and again,over and over,and probably have them almost memorized.When you look at the number of views on this one,hell,50 of them are probably mine.I've been quoting the HAMB to my daughter since Sunday night.She's not too sure what this place is,but when she was home for the summer,she saw me look at it every night,and decided it must be a bunch of weirdos if I liked it that much.Except for the HAMB,I always thought living your social life on the internet was a poor excuse for living.
Yet,I've gotten so much from this since I posted my original letter on Sunday.Tears and laughter.
I can't hardly believe how many of you took the time to pour out your stories to me.Every one that ends with a happy ending gives me hope.
To Hotrodladycrusr,thank you for your insight.You are probably right that she has planned this for a while.And my daughter had already told me that this wasn't her mom,and the cruelty was fake to drive me away,that she means none of it.Well,not all of it,anyway.If this is my payback for being a stubborn asshole,so be it.I can handle anything she can say to me now,the words won't hurt as much someda
As for neglecting my wife,not like you described.With our schedule,don't get to hardly any shows,and when my son was younger,I spent my Sundays with my wife,always,while he played soccer and baseball.We were pretty attentive parents to the kids.The joke to my friends is when I will ever finish any of my projects,since I don't work on them nearly as much as I could.True,even though I had big plans for us being just a couple again,I thought I could probably get a little more garage time in after my youngest left.
I thank all of you from the bottom of my heart.Some of your posts literally take my breath away to reread them.
She still lives in the house,but we didn't cross paths much this weekend.I'm not asking questions now,I've written a couple of letters and left them where she can find them,and left her birthday present out last night where she couldn't miss it.And THEN I hid out in the garage.
Sorry for the drama bullshit,and the wasted space.You folks have helped a lot.This is the hardest thing I've ever experienced in my life,and I don't see any light at the end of the tunnel.
Thank you all......Bill

[RoadDevil13]

Bill,

You dont know me from Adam man...but I have been there...was with the same woman for 16 years, had 2 daughters with her, and the very same thing happened to me....if I can be of ANY help dont hesitate to PM me....I know what your feeling man.

Nick