Fat Hack
08-11-2004, 10:14 AM
Ya know, life gets FAR easier if you don't take it so seriously! That philosophy also applies to us and our car related activities...it seems that alot of people lately are making big deals out of non issues. We all do it from time to time, myself included, and sometimes we run into a situation that reminds us just how silly it is to spend too much time worrying about nothing!
Yesterday, as I was out and about running errands and chasing parts for the ever rooted Fleetline project, I noticed a sign out front of a newly remodled building:
"NOW HIRING SECURITY GUARDS"!!!
Hell, I spent years working in that field, and though it's really boring 98% of the time, it's far from difficult, and it pays fairly well. Why the heck NOT???
Now, I have encountered my share of uptight whackos working in the security business...you know, the ones that think they're an ED-209 or something?...but these guys took the cake, and made me laugh all the way home!
The building is kept under Maximum Security Lockdown at all times...with cameras mounted everywhere and electronic gizmos crackling with life...I rang the bell outside the Secret Back Door...
"Who is it?", the voice demanded.
Would they really know me by NAME? Should I throw my HAMB handle at 'em? Was this some sort of intricate trick question? What to DO????
"Russian Maffia, we've come to steal your Vodka.", I answered with deadpan conviction.
Long pause.
I started to giggle in spite of myself as I stood outside the Armored Door awaiting an answer from The Voice. I had a mental image of the employess inside scattering as they went to Def-Con Four...tipping over desks and manning their Battle Stations with red lights flashing and alarms going off...
"State your business, Sir, or we will be forced to call the Authorities." The Voice answered halfway between panic and annoyance...
Wow...I could picture the look on the police dispatcher's face when the call comes in that the Russians are invading...send the S.W.A.T. team immediately!
"Here for an application", I finally said in my typically casual tone.
A loud buzz as the lock was momentarily disabled. "Come on in, then." was the reply.
Now, suppose it really WAS the Russians, or Osama Bin Laden...or OJ Simpson? Would they really go from Gestapo to Total Slackdom so easily? "I'm here to kill you!", umm, no...wait a minute...that didn't work...okay "Here for a JOB?"...and they buzz you right in! The irony was stupidly funny!!!
Inside was just a small lobby sealed off by more Secret Doors and a bank teller style window. Cameras and signs all over..."Visitors May Be Searched For Weapons" and the like. Okay...as long as the gal behind the window does the searching! I filled out an app quickly and left...wondering, if by some remote twist of fate that I GOT the job, I'd have to learn a whole series of Secret Handshakes or something. Too funny!
As I drove home and pondered the obstacles I still have yet to overcome on the car project, even the most daunting tasks seemed somehow trivial...almost comical in nature, after the encounter with the over zealous security weirdos! Sure it leaks, gas...but it does RUN! Sure things are tight and there's much left to do...but it'll get done...somehow, someway...with the help of good friends and a little more work!
Let the goofball security companies of the world get their panties in a bunch worrying about thugs busting in and leaving all the toilet seats up or whatever they think will happen if they relax for just a second. Life is too short to take it so seriously...and especially so when it comes to our HOBBIES! They're supposed to be FUN...take the time to ENJOY them!
I've often been accused of not taking things seriously ENOUGH, and I suppose that may be true...but I've had my share of leaps to the other side of the coin, and I can tell ya...it ain't worth getting worked up over every little thing!
Don't worry about how much Joe Average is spending on his car, or what is cool to the IN crowd, or who has what for sale...just roll with it, laugh and have fun! You'll feel way better, trust me!
http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cool.gif
RED ALERT! RED ALERT! THE RUSSIANS ARE HERE!!!! http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif
Yesterday, as I was out and about running errands and chasing parts for the ever rooted Fleetline project, I noticed a sign out front of a newly remodled building:
"NOW HIRING SECURITY GUARDS"!!!
Hell, I spent years working in that field, and though it's really boring 98% of the time, it's far from difficult, and it pays fairly well. Why the heck NOT???
Now, I have encountered my share of uptight whackos working in the security business...you know, the ones that think they're an ED-209 or something?...but these guys took the cake, and made me laugh all the way home!
The building is kept under Maximum Security Lockdown at all times...with cameras mounted everywhere and electronic gizmos crackling with life...I rang the bell outside the Secret Back Door...
"Who is it?", the voice demanded.
Would they really know me by NAME? Should I throw my HAMB handle at 'em? Was this some sort of intricate trick question? What to DO????
"Russian Maffia, we've come to steal your Vodka.", I answered with deadpan conviction.
Long pause.
I started to giggle in spite of myself as I stood outside the Armored Door awaiting an answer from The Voice. I had a mental image of the employess inside scattering as they went to Def-Con Four...tipping over desks and manning their Battle Stations with red lights flashing and alarms going off...
"State your business, Sir, or we will be forced to call the Authorities." The Voice answered halfway between panic and annoyance...
Wow...I could picture the look on the police dispatcher's face when the call comes in that the Russians are invading...send the S.W.A.T. team immediately!
"Here for an application", I finally said in my typically casual tone.
A loud buzz as the lock was momentarily disabled. "Come on in, then." was the reply.
Now, suppose it really WAS the Russians, or Osama Bin Laden...or OJ Simpson? Would they really go from Gestapo to Total Slackdom so easily? "I'm here to kill you!", umm, no...wait a minute...that didn't work...okay "Here for a JOB?"...and they buzz you right in! The irony was stupidly funny!!!
Inside was just a small lobby sealed off by more Secret Doors and a bank teller style window. Cameras and signs all over..."Visitors May Be Searched For Weapons" and the like. Okay...as long as the gal behind the window does the searching! I filled out an app quickly and left...wondering, if by some remote twist of fate that I GOT the job, I'd have to learn a whole series of Secret Handshakes or something. Too funny!
As I drove home and pondered the obstacles I still have yet to overcome on the car project, even the most daunting tasks seemed somehow trivial...almost comical in nature, after the encounter with the over zealous security weirdos! Sure it leaks, gas...but it does RUN! Sure things are tight and there's much left to do...but it'll get done...somehow, someway...with the help of good friends and a little more work!
Let the goofball security companies of the world get their panties in a bunch worrying about thugs busting in and leaving all the toilet seats up or whatever they think will happen if they relax for just a second. Life is too short to take it so seriously...and especially so when it comes to our HOBBIES! They're supposed to be FUN...take the time to ENJOY them!
I've often been accused of not taking things seriously ENOUGH, and I suppose that may be true...but I've had my share of leaps to the other side of the coin, and I can tell ya...it ain't worth getting worked up over every little thing!
Don't worry about how much Joe Average is spending on his car, or what is cool to the IN crowd, or who has what for sale...just roll with it, laugh and have fun! You'll feel way better, trust me!
http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cool.gif
RED ALERT! RED ALERT! THE RUSSIANS ARE HERE!!!! http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif