Fat Hack
06-20-2004, 11:34 PM
On our second pass through scenic downtown Charlotte, Michigan this afternoon...on our way to see if Happy Nips was still working the register at the Admiral station (we needed a soda!)...we passed this like ten year old girl leaning on a telephone pole on some street corner.
"Isn't she a little YOUNG for that?" I asked, but DirtyT suggested that maybe things wuz different in Charlotte...after all...we thought we spotted Kustombuilder coming out of the Yarn Barn with pink weave in hand...
Ha ha Ha Ha HA! It was THAT kinda day, man!
Sounded like an easy enough plan...shoot on over to some swap meet near Lansing to meet up with Phat Cat and nab the 1952 F5 truck grille for DirtyT's kustom 50 sled. (Ask HIM, not me!). Then, we even talked of making a banzai run up to Levis Classic's secret Whorehouse...oh...WAREhouse in Traverse City. SOUNDED like a plan with potential.
(The day's travels were also meant to be a shakedown run of sorts for the engine hauling hatchback that we will be sporting down to Missouri next weekend to grab the 2.8 for the Hackmobile from Choprods. We figured a day on the road would test us and the machine to see if all three could handle the journey.)
Dude...I'M getting the directions and double checking them for THAT run, otay Bryan?! http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif
We zigged and zagged all over Hell's Half Acre...covering every two lane road in the sorta south western Michigan area looking for...whatever the heck fairgrounds the swap meet and car show was at. We passed some points of travel six or seven times and asked for directions from every straw-chewin' Boonhauer in sight...one Wrong Turn after another!
Of course...we were wind beaten from HIGH SPEED blasts down freeways, gravel roads and strips of would-be pavement with the windows down to ward off carbon monoxide poisoning...due to a slight exhaust fume problem...but that wasn't so bad...nice sunny day and all! No blackouts or severe dizzy spells that I can recall!
Anyhow...we finally find the fairgrounds...and two cops direct us to the Hidden Clearing In The Trees that served as the spectator parking area. We parked and began walking.
A mile down this dirt two-track of a "road" we find the show...six hours after our departure from the starting point of our jaunt a scant 95 miles away or so! Most vendors were packing up as we walked in, so we didn't get to gather the Full Magnitude of the meet...but we did hook up with CharlieChops40 and Phat Cat to grab Dirty's grille, as planned hours earlier! Nice guys...with alot of cool goodies they were busy trying to stuff back in the trailer!
Not content to just up and leave, we strolled around, mindfull of Grass Sharks, and found some guy with boxes and boxes of old car parts to sift through. Fuck it...I just HAD to get Bryan in trouble, so I grabbed this wicked cool 55 Olds gauge cluster and held it up, saying "This would KICK ASS in a Model A...dontcha think?"
Dirty wasn't 100% convinced at first...one of his main concerns being the fact that even though the cluster looked Bombed-ass BITCHIN"...it had a Hydramatic shift position indicator at the bottom, and he's planning to run a three speed manual.
I had to keep digging him in, so I said..."No problem, Man! Look...it's ELECTRICALLY OPERATED! A couple of micro switches on your shifter, some deft wiring, a few sparks, a whif of ozone...and we'll have that needle trippin' people out with every gear change, man!". Dirty saw The Light...and relented...buying the cluster for his SuperSecret Caddy-Powered HELL YEAH Mobile...but insisted that the installation of said cluster would be MY job!
We drove that guy sellin' all them parts nutty...holding up every odd piece we laid eyes on and asking "What's THIS?" or "How Much?". Then, I found the Death Star!
It's this tin star-shaped trinkety piece of trim or some such that was burried in the dude's box of Random Shit. I fished it out to examine it closer...and DirtyT was like "Hmmm...what type of Evilness is THAT?". Don't know what's FROM, but it was dirt cheap and cool, so I bought it. The seller looked at us, the F5 grille, Olds gauge cluster and Death Star, and asked "What in the Hell are you boys buildin'?!". Ha Ha...wish we KNEW, Man!
The cool part was watching Dirty carry that F5 grille the mile back to the car...arms gone to rubber by the time we got there! (I woulda offered to carry it part way, but I had the Death Star in one hand, and his gauge cluster in the other!).
Back on the road, we decided (okay, well I INSISTED!) that we make our Pop Stop at the Admiral station where we'd been hours earlier...cuz the hot chick working there was worth a second look! Must be cold in that store, or maybe she was glad to see a couple of Motown Studs stroll in, cuz she sported Happy Nips the whole time we were in the store!
(The FIRST time we left, I tried my old Bo Duke routine to enter Dirty's car via the window to impress the gal. I can still DO it, but with age and Wear, I've lost my gracefull run, jump, drop-in smoothness! Damn broken door handle!)
She was still HAPPY the second time we were in the store...but she was sitting in the office counting money..so likely it was the greenbacks that turned her on that time. Oh well...until we cross ways again, Fair Maiden!
Oh MAN! The fucking "Walking Coffee Table-of-a-TURTLE"!!!! How did I forget THAT???!!!
(GRASS SHARK!!!!!!! http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shocked.gif http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif)
We passed a normal sized turtle wandering across the road on our return trip...nothing odd about that...but then...we crested a hill to see a car pulled over by the side of the road with the occupants looking at a small table in the lane of travel opposite of ours. As we flew past...we saw that the "table" was fucking WALKING...and had a head and a SHELL! Motherfucking GAMARA lives in MICHIGAN now!!!! Holy Shit!!!! One MONSTER of a TURTLE!!
(No...really...the car WAS well ventilated by this time...it wasn't the fumes gone to our brains!)
Finally got home, after a few other incidents and accidents, hints and allegations...and dubbed the trip "somewhat of a success". The exhaust system busted on the car, so we were back to Unmuffled Fury...and the thing hops like a kangaroo at odd intervals at sub-sonic "freeway speeds"...but it oughtta be Disco for the run to Missouri next weekend! We logged almost 500 miles running the roads around Nashville, Michigan, working a grid tighter and tighter till we found the spot...so a quick blast to Kenny's house oughtta be a cinch! Dirty is gonna address a few issues this week, and we'll be ready to Boogie!
Now, what the hell is the Death Star from???
(Bad picture included! http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif)
"Isn't she a little YOUNG for that?" I asked, but DirtyT suggested that maybe things wuz different in Charlotte...after all...we thought we spotted Kustombuilder coming out of the Yarn Barn with pink weave in hand...
Ha ha Ha Ha HA! It was THAT kinda day, man!
Sounded like an easy enough plan...shoot on over to some swap meet near Lansing to meet up with Phat Cat and nab the 1952 F5 truck grille for DirtyT's kustom 50 sled. (Ask HIM, not me!). Then, we even talked of making a banzai run up to Levis Classic's secret Whorehouse...oh...WAREhouse in Traverse City. SOUNDED like a plan with potential.
(The day's travels were also meant to be a shakedown run of sorts for the engine hauling hatchback that we will be sporting down to Missouri next weekend to grab the 2.8 for the Hackmobile from Choprods. We figured a day on the road would test us and the machine to see if all three could handle the journey.)
Dude...I'M getting the directions and double checking them for THAT run, otay Bryan?! http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif
We zigged and zagged all over Hell's Half Acre...covering every two lane road in the sorta south western Michigan area looking for...whatever the heck fairgrounds the swap meet and car show was at. We passed some points of travel six or seven times and asked for directions from every straw-chewin' Boonhauer in sight...one Wrong Turn after another!
Of course...we were wind beaten from HIGH SPEED blasts down freeways, gravel roads and strips of would-be pavement with the windows down to ward off carbon monoxide poisoning...due to a slight exhaust fume problem...but that wasn't so bad...nice sunny day and all! No blackouts or severe dizzy spells that I can recall!
Anyhow...we finally find the fairgrounds...and two cops direct us to the Hidden Clearing In The Trees that served as the spectator parking area. We parked and began walking.
A mile down this dirt two-track of a "road" we find the show...six hours after our departure from the starting point of our jaunt a scant 95 miles away or so! Most vendors were packing up as we walked in, so we didn't get to gather the Full Magnitude of the meet...but we did hook up with CharlieChops40 and Phat Cat to grab Dirty's grille, as planned hours earlier! Nice guys...with alot of cool goodies they were busy trying to stuff back in the trailer!
Not content to just up and leave, we strolled around, mindfull of Grass Sharks, and found some guy with boxes and boxes of old car parts to sift through. Fuck it...I just HAD to get Bryan in trouble, so I grabbed this wicked cool 55 Olds gauge cluster and held it up, saying "This would KICK ASS in a Model A...dontcha think?"
Dirty wasn't 100% convinced at first...one of his main concerns being the fact that even though the cluster looked Bombed-ass BITCHIN"...it had a Hydramatic shift position indicator at the bottom, and he's planning to run a three speed manual.
I had to keep digging him in, so I said..."No problem, Man! Look...it's ELECTRICALLY OPERATED! A couple of micro switches on your shifter, some deft wiring, a few sparks, a whif of ozone...and we'll have that needle trippin' people out with every gear change, man!". Dirty saw The Light...and relented...buying the cluster for his SuperSecret Caddy-Powered HELL YEAH Mobile...but insisted that the installation of said cluster would be MY job!
We drove that guy sellin' all them parts nutty...holding up every odd piece we laid eyes on and asking "What's THIS?" or "How Much?". Then, I found the Death Star!
It's this tin star-shaped trinkety piece of trim or some such that was burried in the dude's box of Random Shit. I fished it out to examine it closer...and DirtyT was like "Hmmm...what type of Evilness is THAT?". Don't know what's FROM, but it was dirt cheap and cool, so I bought it. The seller looked at us, the F5 grille, Olds gauge cluster and Death Star, and asked "What in the Hell are you boys buildin'?!". Ha Ha...wish we KNEW, Man!
The cool part was watching Dirty carry that F5 grille the mile back to the car...arms gone to rubber by the time we got there! (I woulda offered to carry it part way, but I had the Death Star in one hand, and his gauge cluster in the other!).
Back on the road, we decided (okay, well I INSISTED!) that we make our Pop Stop at the Admiral station where we'd been hours earlier...cuz the hot chick working there was worth a second look! Must be cold in that store, or maybe she was glad to see a couple of Motown Studs stroll in, cuz she sported Happy Nips the whole time we were in the store!
(The FIRST time we left, I tried my old Bo Duke routine to enter Dirty's car via the window to impress the gal. I can still DO it, but with age and Wear, I've lost my gracefull run, jump, drop-in smoothness! Damn broken door handle!)
She was still HAPPY the second time we were in the store...but she was sitting in the office counting money..so likely it was the greenbacks that turned her on that time. Oh well...until we cross ways again, Fair Maiden!
Oh MAN! The fucking "Walking Coffee Table-of-a-TURTLE"!!!! How did I forget THAT???!!!
(GRASS SHARK!!!!!!! http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shocked.gif http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif)
We passed a normal sized turtle wandering across the road on our return trip...nothing odd about that...but then...we crested a hill to see a car pulled over by the side of the road with the occupants looking at a small table in the lane of travel opposite of ours. As we flew past...we saw that the "table" was fucking WALKING...and had a head and a SHELL! Motherfucking GAMARA lives in MICHIGAN now!!!! Holy Shit!!!! One MONSTER of a TURTLE!!
(No...really...the car WAS well ventilated by this time...it wasn't the fumes gone to our brains!)
Finally got home, after a few other incidents and accidents, hints and allegations...and dubbed the trip "somewhat of a success". The exhaust system busted on the car, so we were back to Unmuffled Fury...and the thing hops like a kangaroo at odd intervals at sub-sonic "freeway speeds"...but it oughtta be Disco for the run to Missouri next weekend! We logged almost 500 miles running the roads around Nashville, Michigan, working a grid tighter and tighter till we found the spot...so a quick blast to Kenny's house oughtta be a cinch! Dirty is gonna address a few issues this week, and we'll be ready to Boogie!
Now, what the hell is the Death Star from???
(Bad picture included! http://www.jalopyjournal.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif)