You sit there sipping a Mai Tai and enjoying the view as the North shore waves crash on the sandy beach just forward of where you chose to park your ass for the day. In the distance and off to the side, you can hear some poor sap talking up a native chick with perfect curves. He mentions his BMW and the Bavarian speed crew that helped him make it the fastest car on the island. He’s local too… probably an implant after a father that hit it big on the market or sold his company at just the right time. It doesn’t really matter. He’s ignorant to where he stands in the world of automobiles and possibly even the art of talking up a lady.
You, however, take comfort in knowledge. Knowledge that there is no way his German masterpiece could hang with your stroked coupe at home. Knowledge that the local’s legs would spread instantly with a single sight of your tail dragger’s profile. You got it made my man… And it only gets better.
The resort’s staff make their rounds to announce happy hour – draft beer for $5. Your distant friend frantically feels for his wallet and orders the limit. You smile.
“Another Mai Tai toots. Take your time.”
It’s great to be in the know, isn’t it? It’s comforting… It’s empowering… It’s being content.
And if you are in the know, you gotta realize that it’s that time of the year again. The Jalopy Journal has opened its vaults and it’s time to sell off all of the year’s best merchandise. Act quickly and you could find yourself with a brand new hat, a multitude of shirts, a fresh from the foundry key fob, stickers, Church Magazine, or a number of other products that have just gone up for sale. Once they are gone, they are gone. So, what in the hell are you waiting for buster?