The 2017 H.A.M.B. Drags… & MORE!

Four front-engine diggers sat idling while surrounding a young girl. It was hard to say if it was the situation or the Nitro that caused her eyes to water over. The villain looked over his setup and smiled contently. He was certain the knots on all of the girl’s extremities as well as on the backs of the digger’s cages would hold. His confidence derived from years dedicated to achieving his eagle scout patch. The only real variable here, he thought, was the drivers themselves. Minions can sometimes garner a conscience.

Our hero sat on a hilltop high above the scene – camouflaged by the cedar trees that had yet to be cleared from the freshly constructed parking lot below. As the villain set up his complex system of pulleys and ropes created to drop four checkered flags simultaneously, our hero moved into action. With the grace of a ballerina and the power of a linebacker, he swept down into the diggers and cut the ropes tying them to the girl with his sharpened Kodachi.  He then flipped backwards over the cage of the nearest dragster and used his weapon to disable the minion driver.

It was all happening in a blink of an eye, but the villain was quick enough to see the rescue mission before it ended. He hopped off the ladder he was using to secure a pulley and ran towards the  now freed girl. Before he could get there, however, our hero swept her up and laid her across the cowl of the newly driverless digger, hopped behind the butterfly wheel, and smashed the go pedal. The nitro fueled explosions in each cylinder rose in tempo and volume until the end of each could be seen exiting the headers. The tires screamed in agony. Smoke billowed.

Drastic changes in the scene appeared once that smoke cleared. The villain laid flat on his back, twitching… and two large strips of rubber lined his body. There was no blood – it had all boiled with the rubber. The sound of the big nitro fueled Hemi could be heard in the distance, but more prevalent was the sound of tiny footsteps running in fear as the surviving minions looked for cover.

The villain’s evil plot was foiled again. At least for now…

***

Maybe he can try again at the 2017 H.A.M.B. Drags? Who would want to miss that? Not you… Not our hero… and REGISTRATION IS NOW OPEN!!!! Click here to get set up.

***

Ohhhh… and also, we have new merch in the store. Every hero should dress for the part, right?

Click here to get your swag!