2012 H.A.M.B. Calendar & More…
Lenny wasn’t what you would call a strapping lad by any means, but he didn’t resemble a bulldog or anything like that either. Most girls called him “normal” in appearance. And it was that very normalcy that created a distance between Lenny and the opposite sex that was just too much for his sheepish personality to overcome.
The first woman that Lenny ever tended to was a gal named Delma who lived in West Texas. Lubbock to be precise. Anyhow, Delma was a whore that setup shop in a small bungalow on Atkins Street. I know that might seem shocking, but it wasn’t as depraved as it sounds. Delma was a clean broad with the best reputation in all of central Lubbock. She wasn’t, mind you, a street walker.
Delma occupied a lot of Lenny’s time and just about all of the money he earned delivering milk through his teen years. However, the nature of Lenny’s relationship with Delma changed once he met Katherine. Katherine wasn’t all together terrible on the eyes and she was, after all, as free as a girlfriend can be. It was a business decision more than anything.
Even so, Lenny still made social calls to Atkins Street when he found the time. Not the drawer dropping type of social calls, but the friendly type. After a while, Delma began to think of Lenny as something other than a customer and often confided in him. Revenue was down. Business was slow. Delma was at a loss.
But Lenny wasn’t. He saw the truth. He saw that Delma was getting up there in age. Her clothes showed as if they had hit the wash board hundreds of times. Her sheets were worn. Her marketing was nil. Delma no longer came across as the pride of Atkins Street.
Lenny had always been the compassionate type, so it didn’t take long before he decided to help. He bought Delma a new dress, got her some sheets, and even had some flyers made for her under the agreement that she would pay him back when she had the means. Plus a 30% interest fee.
The money, of course, was nice… But Lenny took most pride in the act of restoration. It felt cleansing and natural to take something that had a few hard miles on it, give it some love and attention, and turn it into something other people could use and enjoy like he once did. In a strange and absurd way, Lenny wasn’t much different than you or I, was he?
Introducing the 2012 H.A.M.B. Calendar – chock full of the most honest pimps and the cleanest whores in all the land. It’s available for pre-order today. We didn’t print a ton this year as time is tight and the economy less than promising, but I think we printed enough. Even so, be safe rather than sorry and orders yours now. You can do so right here.
NOTE: Orders will not begin shipping until January 1, 2012 as I’m on the road right now for the holidays. Please keep that in my mind – I’d hate to test your patience.
Another NOTE: I also put up the leftovers from the Revolution. If you are looking for a damn good deal on a t-shirt or some killer key chains, click here.