Tim Conder

This article was originally published on The Jockey Journal.

“Crazy, but true…”

Those are the words Conder started and ended our interview with. You see, Tim Conder is the epitome of a renaissance man. He’s a fine artist, a painter, a fabricator, a mechanic, a writer… But most of all, he is a thinker. A very BIG thinker.

Lots of guys have skills and even more have dreams. Putting the two together consistently takes either naivety or insane dedication. To be honest, I’m not sure which Conder has more of. I just know I respect the hell out of anyone that has the gusto to dream as big as he does and the perseverance to go after those dreams regardless of the challenges that present themselves.

TJJ: What came first – the art of the mechanical?

Tim Conder: Art. I come from a whole family of mechanics, but art was first. I got in trouble with it in the second grade initially, where my grades dropped because I found out drawing cars made me famous. Art introduced me to kids at every new school I went to (we moved a lot). I’d sit down and start drawing in the lunch room and by recess I had a posse. I’m still friends with some of those kids!

TJJ: Growing up and learning your trades, who and what inspired you the most?

Tim Conder: My father and his friends during the first 7 years of my life were my biggest influence. Dad was a respected neighborhood mechanic, a super resourceful builder and a legend with a 4-speed. His buddies were painters and fabricators. My whole sub-division was like a giant car show… Choppers, Hill Climbers, Gassers and Dune Buggies! It was a dream… then in 1971 the whole neighborhood got into drugs and everything exploded into Sonny Bono mustache world. Goofy.

After I got out of the infantry in ‘87, I got to do some work for Ed Roth and Rod Powell. I met Cole Foster back then too. He was driving the baddest BMW 2002 you’ll ever see and was about to build his ’54 Chev. ‘Nuff said.

I didn’t really come into my career until I started Armageddon Top Fuel (ATF) though. Every barrier I ever had that kept me from learning ANYTHING disappeared at the birth of ATF. That project’s made me fearless.

TJJ: What caught your interest first – bikes or cars?

Tim Conder: Both. They’re the same… comic art, choppers, dragsters, hot rods, customs, film, writing, mechanics, welding, painting, etc…

It’s all just one big juicy glazed HAM to me.

TJJ: What was it about the bikes that drove you from a passion standpoint? The culture? The people? The machines?

Tim Conder: It’s the idea. Every idea I get is like a bully I’ve gotta stand up to. They taunt me, push me around and fuck with me until I knock ‘em out. It’s a frustrating existence, but once you whoop one of ‘em, you’re hooked for life.

Like…

Folks kept telling me my panhead chop was dangerous, so I thought of a really dangerous motorcycle… the idea scared me so bad I couldn’t stop thinking about it. In the end I put together a chopper covered in 1400 razor blades and rode it for nearly 2 months. I knew it was CRAZY, but it just came down to me and that fucking idea. Redneck assholes always think something like this is done because the person doing it wants to “look tough�?, but I could care less about that shit. That idea was plain, simple, mortal terror. It HAD to happen, and it did.

The razor blade bike actually WAS terrifyingly dangerous just sitting still. It caused some people to go into a trance of stupidity just looking at it… they’d mutter “those aren’t real�? and slice their fingers open on the blades, then stare at me hurt and doe eyed yelling “you’re CRAZY!!!�? Which was kind of funny considering I never cut myself once building or riding that bike.

Some ideas I get are easier than others to do and a couple are proving to be flat out impossible, but without them there’s very little to get excited about.

TJJ: Out of all the bikes you’ve built, which one would you take to the grave if you could?

Tim Conder: My first chopper. A rigid, raw steel Panhead I named “Gigantic�? (after a Pixies song.) A good friend commissioned me to build it for him in ‘93 and told me to build it like it was mine. It was everything I love about our culture in the form of a chopper. I learned new trades and met good people building it. Then I bought it from the guy, won a trophy at the Grand national Roadster show in ’98, got it in Easyrider, rode the shit out of it and ultimately sold it to another good friend – using the money to help bring my first baby girl into the world. That bike is blessed.

TJJ: At some point along the way, you put bikes on the back burner and started the Armageddon Top Fuel Project. What was Armageddon all about and what lead to its inception?

(Editor’s Note: For those that aren’t aware… Conder and company built 2 exact front engine dragster clones with the idea that one would represent good and the other evil. The idea was to tour the two cars around the country and let them settle their differences on the track. That’s Armageddon Top Fuel.)

Tim Conder: Armageddon Top Fuel started as a big FUCK YOU to the art world and “Kustom Kulture�? in general. I was quasi-suicidal and mad as hell when I decided to spend a few months pacing the floor developing the idea. I figured if I pulled it off, I would finally get out of life what I truly wanted and if I wound up tumbling through the lights in a 220 mile an hour ball of flaming DEATH, that would be fine too. It seemed like a win/win.

Still, it was angry and mean spirited. It just seemed to me, up to that point in my life everything I had become involved in was bullshit… catholicism, the army, art school and the “custom�? business seemed to have one thing in common – they took the pure ideal of these great things and used those ideals to sell mundane crap. I know many folks think everything in the world needs to be taken in moderation and approached with a calm, relaxing dose of common sense, but I’ve never had a lot of satisfaction approaching anything that way.

So, ATF became in effect what my hardcore choppers were… a pure IDEAL. An attempt to create and live something that actually WAS the hype. So, I started building it. Then, weird shit started to happen… I’ll spare ya the details.

BUT, from the minute I started brainstorming ATF, my life improved. It went from fucked to fantastic overnight. Soon I was experiencing unbelievable inspiration. The ideas started coming so fast I hardly slept. Every day got better and better with no end in sight. Then, I went out and landed nearly 2 million dollars to start it. It all made total sense.

The funding was art money. Giant, well intended and very political; this type of financing was WAY out of my league, but I lucked out because I knew someone who knew someone. Art money is infinitely preferable to SPONSORSHIP backing, because with art money it’s about the THING, not advertising someone else’s thing. I met with them to pitch the idea. They cried and gave me a poem, then pledged enough to do the whole project. We were to meet in 2 weeks to nail it all down. The time came and they took back the money. They said what I was doing was not only very dangerous art in every sense, but they simply couldn’t live with my blood on their hands.

Everything crashed. I kind of went nuts for 2 weeks and then, I put everything I had up for sale to start ATF myself. A friend came in as a limited investor, attracting 2 more people. Now the thing was rolling again and it was growing very, very fast. At this time I realized it wasn’t exactly just me benefiting from ATF. There were fans and supporters now. I had lots of friends who were building their own projects… musicians, artists and small business owners who were frustrated and struggling. Soon ATF grew into a multi-media project with plenty of room for anyone who had the nerve to contribute… just one more great element that added to the project.

My “limited�? investors were on the fence. They were not car people but loved the concept as an art piece. However, these folks wanted a return on their investment eventually. They saw very few t-shirts sold. The Nostalgia drag race events they went to with me were un-inspiring for them. Mainly because the stands were mostly empty, and the fan base (in 2000) was much older than us and were pretty spooked by ATF.

Armageddon Top Fuel was my job. I had cut my expenses to the quick and was working hard on it, but it was mainly just me. My friends and volunteers were adults who had jobs, families, etc… But the cold hard fact was; it was very stressful for them to contribute. The level of craftsmanship needed was intimidating. The things at stake were huge. With the resources we had in place at the time, many of them thought failure was practically guaranteed. It takes serious commitment and love (plus balls of steel) to be directly involved in this kind of “art�?. We ALL knew one thing for SURE…

If underfinanced and half-assed, ATF would be the corniest, goofball joke ever attempted.

This shut a lot of would be contributors down. Then 9-11 happened, which (combined with the above) eventually ended my funding, leaving me with about 50 grand in unpaid bills. If I was a sensible person, I would have walked away right then. ATF clearly didn’t have enough public support in early ‘02 to continue. My current investors were out. ATF is an L.L.C. so it could have been liquidated and shut down as a loss. No guilt, we tried and it didn’t work. However…

It had saved, then completely CHANGED my life. I had a beautiful new wife and we wanted kids. My skills had increased dramatically since I started ATF and although there were only a few, it had inspired folks from all over the world. In my garage were 2 of the most beautiful front engine rails ever built. They were almost done. We had over 2 years of hair raising adventure and the damn cars hadn’t even been STARTED yet!!! This giant thing was happening and I thought “there’s GOT to be others out there like me�?…

So I started Conder Custom again and began looking for ways to continue the project.

To this day I’m the only one who actually sees ATF completely. Financed and done correctly, ATF will become one of the greatest art projects ever created. It will make history.

TJJ: I recently saw the Armageddon cars were for sale. Did they sell? What lead you to that decision? The idea just seems so valid…

Tim Conder: Everything is for sale. It will stay for sale as I build it. My investors will be paid back no matter which direction it goes. There’s no honor in running around acting like you’re super cool on someone else’s money. If our price is met on the cars they will be sold to whoever wants them, for whatever purpose they want to use them for. If this happens, I’m starting again from scratch.

My initial investors are not involved anymore, and I want partners who have my level of commitment. Their share of ATF can be purchased for $150,000. That amount will make someone 49% partners with me. From there it will take roughly $300,000 to finish all basic aspects of the project and start running the cars. After that, it’s stepping into the unknown.

The idea is not only valid; it is the first time in recorded human history something like this has been attempted. There are thousands of stories of “Good vs. Evil�? in every culture and every belief. But no mortal has ever publicly challenged these forces to SETTLE it in a contest. For REAL. This is the true story of Armageddon Top Fuel. It’s not some schlocky “WWF�? motorsports gimmick or a performance art thing…

It’s GOD and SATAN running for PINKS, while the whole world watches.

TJJ: So what now? Armageddon is still there, a lifetime’s worth of bikes have been built, cars painted, etc… Where do you want to go?

Tim Conder: I started my career as a commercial artist when I was 22. From there I tried advertising and non-automotive design and illustration. That was my career for 6 years and I just tinkered with cars and bikes as a hobby. I’ve only built 4 motorcycles that have actually represented Conder Custom. Everything else has been me helping other folks build theirs. I’m 42 and didn’t start painting until I was 28. I learned how to TIG weld in ’02, and learned to MIG weld on Monster Garage (also in ’02). My career is just getting started! (Let’s hope I at least live long enough to finish Stoner’s “T�? coupe.)

As far as direction, there’s ATF and my custom shop. I have 2 screenplays in progress that I’m hoping to sell, with one of them being co-developed as a video game and comic. I write for a few different magazines and do automotive and motorcycle design along with comic art. I’m developing some motorcycle parts to be marketed through other companies as well.

The custom shop pays my bills, with the writing and design work saving my ass when things get tight. I’m hoping eventually these motorcycle parts I’ve developed will get to market and do well. That would give me a bit more freedom to hang out with my friends again, maybe ride more, go to some shows and drag races.

TJJ: Assume an unlimited budget and any resources you could ever need or want… What’s your dream project?

Tim Conder:

1. ATF
2. Developing my 2 films, then directing them.
3. Finally building the custom shop I’ve always wanted.
4. Building the hybrid or straight electric version of my soap box roadster as a limited production vehicle.

Until then, I’ll just keep doing the best work I can and looking for that big break. There are definitely worse ways to make a living! Fuelers Forever!